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Old March 16th, 2017, 03:31 PM   #1
Amethyst Rose
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Default What did I do?

I'm trying to be optimistic, really I am. But what is the point of trying when it never fucking lasts? I experience happiness just to have it torn away yet again. I can't just be happy and carefree oh no then the world would end. There's this undercurrent of sadness that will not stay away, I constantly feel like I'm holding back tears. I hardly have any friends and I feel like the friends I have (most of them being on here, I have one friend outside of VT that I can confide in) deserve better than me. What did I do to deserve this?

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."
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Old March 16th, 2017, 06:37 PM   #2
Anniebanannie
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Default Re: What did I do?

I'm sorry you're feeling so miserable. I'm not sure if something specific happened today, but it really feels awful to feel like you don't have friends. I'm sure you did nothing to deserve it -- if you're thinking you're receiving some sort of divine punishment.

Anyway, here's hugs for your bad day.

I'm having a great time here. I'm open to chat, too.
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Old March 16th, 2017, 09:23 PM   #3
Amethyst Rose
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Originally Posted by Anniebanannie View Post
I'm sorry you're feeling so miserable. I'm not sure if something specific happened today, but it really feels awful to feel like you don't have friends. I'm sure you did nothing to deserve it -- if you're thinking you're receiving some sort of divine punishment.
It's not just today, it's every day. I'll be happy for a while, and a really minute thing could send me spiraling down. Then my mood will improve. Who knows what will cause my drastic swings. Like I'm in a better mood now than when I wrote this, but I might wake up tomorrow depressed. There's just no way to tell.

I don't feel like I have no friends - I know I have friends. I just feel like they deserve better than me. If someone's in a bad mood and I want to vent, I know I can trust them, but I feel like I'll drag them down with me.

Quote:
Anyway, here's hugs for your bad day.
Thank you Annie hugs never go out of style.

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."
PM Me Ask Me [email protected]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Desynchronized View Post
Gawd dammit the mods r so cruel.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Special One View Post
I just food and I still have a hungry.
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Old March 17th, 2017, 12:06 AM   #4
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Default Re: What did I do?

I don't think your friends will feel that way.
Friends are there to go with you through good and bad times and listen to the other.
So don't worry.
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Old March 17th, 2017, 03:43 PM   #5
Amethyst Rose
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I don't think your friends will feel that way.
Friends are there to go with you through good and bad times and listen to the other.
So don't worry.
But I just feel like my problems are insignificant. There are other people dealing with worse things, including some of them, so they probably don't want to put up with my venting. I just feel pathetic for complaining when I have plenty to be happy about.

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."
PM Me Ask Me [email protected]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Desynchronized View Post
Gawd dammit the mods r so cruel.
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I just food and I still have a hungry.
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Old March 17th, 2017, 04:34 PM   #6
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Default Re: What did I do?

I will always be your friend any time you need me. When you feel depressed I'm right here to talk to just pm me and I will try and help anyway I can. Just remember you are loved my many people in your life. So sorry to here you going through bad times. You are loved by many take that to heart.

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Old March 17th, 2017, 08:21 PM   #7
Anniebanannie
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst_ View Post
It's not just today, it's every day. I'll be happy for a while, and a really minute thing could send me spiraling down. Then my mood will improve. Who knows what will cause my drastic swings. Like I'm in a better mood now than when I wrote this, but I might wake up tomorrow depressed. There's just no way to tell.

I don't feel like I have no friends - I know I have friends. I just feel like they deserve better than me. If someone's in a bad mood and I want to vent, I know I can trust them, but I feel like I'll drag them down with me.



Thank you Annie hugs never go out of style.
I'm sorry it's been so hard. You sound depressed, more than just a little. What do you think about seeing a counselor or therapist?

I'm having a great time here. I'm open to chat, too.
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Old March 17th, 2017, 08:40 PM   #8
Amethyst Rose
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Default Re: What did I do?

@Barb A I appreciate that, you're the sweetest Barbie. <3

@Anniebanannie If I did that I would have to tell my parents, and as I said in another thread recently I have done counseling before and there was a lot of tension between my family and I because of it. It would make me feel worse. I guess I could talk to my school counselor, I wanted to see her last week but she was out. I think I'll talk to her next week.

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."
PM Me Ask Me [email protected]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Desynchronized View Post
Gawd dammit the mods r so cruel.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Special One View Post
I just food and I still have a hungry.
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Old March 17th, 2017, 09:16 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by Amethyst_ View Post
@Barb A I appreciate that, you're the sweetest Barbie. <3

@Anniebanannie If I did that I would have to tell my parents, and as I said in another thread recently I have done counseling before and there was a lot of tension between my family and I because of it. It would make me feel worse. I guess I could talk to my school counselor, I wanted to see her last week but she was out. I think I'll talk to her next week.
The school counselor sounds like a good idea then. You're absolutely worth it.

I'm having a great time here. I'm open to chat, too.
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Old March 18th, 2017, 12:23 AM   #10
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Default Re: What did I do?

Everyone deserves to have good friends. I've honestly made some of my best friends online. I wish I understood more of what you're going tough. Do you have any hobbies?
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Old March 18th, 2017, 09:50 AM   #11
Amethyst Rose
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Everyone deserves to have good friends. I've honestly made some of my best friends online. I wish I understood more of what you're going tough. Do you have any hobbies?
So have I. It's really hard for me to make friends.

I love music, and writing. I get a lot of this emotional shit out of my system through writing tbh.

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."
PM Me Ask Me [email protected]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Desynchronized View Post
Gawd dammit the mods r so cruel.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Special One View Post
I just food and I still have a hungry.
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Old March 18th, 2017, 11:27 PM   #12
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But I just feel like my problems are insignificant. There are other people dealing with worse things, including some of them, so they probably don't want to put up with my venting. I just feel pathetic for complaining when I have plenty to be happy about.
I don't think your friends feel this way. I had this discussion with a person from my school. He felt he shouldn't bother his Mom about a certain problem since he said she has enough on her plate without him. I feel thinking like that is wrong.
People won't feel bothered by your problems when they are really your friends.
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Old March 28th, 2017, 11:02 PM   #13
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Default Re: What did I do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst_ View Post
I'm trying to be optimistic, really I am. But what is the point of trying when it never fucking lasts? I experience happiness just to have it torn away yet again. I can't just be happy and carefree oh no then the world would end. There's this undercurrent of sadness that will not stay away, I constantly feel like I'm holding back tears. I hardly have any friends and I feel like the friends I have (most of them being on here, I have one friend outside of VT that I can confide in) deserve better than me. What did I do to deserve this?
You shouldn't stress about things outside of your control and just be yourself and friends IRL will come. You want to have friends that share similar interests not ones that your just friends with for no reason.

17 straight but very curious. Open to experimenting. Keep on Keepin on PM me anytime I'll talk to anyone about anything
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