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Old January 17th, 2017, 10:02 AM   #21
rioo
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Default Re: I just want to die

May I ask, do u have sibling or related family u can talk with?
I'm sorry with ur situation, but dont give up.
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Old January 17th, 2017, 11:47 AM   #22
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Default Re: I just want to die

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Originally Posted by rioo View Post
May I ask, do u have sibling or related family u can talk with?
I'm sorry with ur situation, but dont give up.
Well I can talk to my cousins but I have a lot of trouble opening up. We're all close and everything but I just can't tell them, it's too hard.

When you're taught to love everyone, to love your enemies, then what value does that place on love?
-Marilyn Manson

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Old January 20th, 2017, 06:09 AM   #23
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Default Re: I just want to die

You don't have to answer if you don't want to but I'm just wondering one thing. Why are your parents so controlling and take away so much of your privacy?
Is there some special reason for it. Did you give them a reason not to trust you?
It would be easier to help or give advice?
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Old January 20th, 2017, 10:33 AM   #24
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Default Re: I just want to die

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Originally Posted by Peanut_ View Post
You don't have to answer if you don't want to but I'm just wondering one thing. Why are your parents so controlling and take away so much of your privacy?
Is there some special reason for it. Did you give them a reason not to trust you?
It would be easier to help or give advice?
It's something that happened 2 years ago but I'd rather not talk about that. They really don't trust me anymore. If they find out that I talk to "strangers" they'll kill me

When you're taught to love everyone, to love your enemies, then what value does that place on love?
-Marilyn Manson

Android? We can't be friends sorry!!!!!
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Old January 20th, 2017, 10:57 AM   #25
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Default Re: I just want to die

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It's something that happened 2 years ago but I'd rather not talk about that. They really don't trust me anymore. If they find out that I talk to "strangers" they'll kill me
I see...well these trust issues your parents have with you now obviously are a major point. I don't think that you will be able to really work on your problems with those in the room. From what I read here on VT it's highly unlikely that you will be able to talk with them and work on it to regain their trust somehow. This would of course be the ideal solution to further work on your other problems.
So you can just muster up all your strength to go on till you are old enough to move out. Then you are free to find a therapist and/ or medication that suits you and tackle all anxieties and other issues.
I know it's not too great of a future to look to but at least it's a small glimpse of hope if you make it there.

I will spare you any further pep talk cuz honestly it would just be hypocritical in the state I'm myself at the moment.
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Old January 29th, 2017, 10:29 AM   #26
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Default Re: I just want to die

I honestly can't do this anymore. All I want to is to die and I can't think of anything else. I am never happy, because all that made me happy is gone. I feel so worthless and weak and I just don't want to live anymore. I'm home alone and yeah, sorry if I don't make it through the day. Thanks to everyone who was there for me but I can't fight this anymore

When you're taught to love everyone, to love your enemies, then what value does that place on love?
-Marilyn Manson

Android? We can't be friends sorry!!!!!
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Old January 29th, 2017, 11:17 AM   #27
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Default Re: I just want to die

Hey so maybe call someone like one of your cousins. Maybe ask them to come over and just chillax with you a while and play a video game or something. Sometimes having someone there with you is all the difference
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Old January 29th, 2017, 01:46 PM   #28
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Default Re: I just want to die

If youre young you still have time to get your shit together. Also just know there are people who will like you for you. Also know that adversity makes a better person of all of us. Just know that people who off themselves are never happy with the results.

What's up my friends?
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Old January 29th, 2017, 05:31 PM   #29
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Default Re: I just want to die

Every human on this earth has a place and you do! Your here for a reason man. You have a purpose.

PLEASE don't even think about suicide. That would not be fair to your family. Life goes on you WILL get through this rough period in your life. Taking your own life solves nothing. You need to talk with someone whether it be your parents or a conselor. NEVER suffer alone.

I can assure you that almost every teenager on this site has some of struggle that makes them loose hope. It doesn't matter how you get through it, it matters that you get through it. You will be so much stronger on the other side of this rough period.

You got this! Be strong for everyone on this site.
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Old February 3rd, 2017, 04:16 PM   #30
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Default Re: I just want to die

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If youre young you still have time to get your shit together. Also just know there are people who will like you for you. Also know that adversity makes a better person of all of us. Just know that people who off themselves are never happy with the results.
I've thrown away all of my teen years. I'm turning 18 in 16 days and I don't want to turn 18. It's something I'm dreading and honestly I just want to die before that day.

I've become highly dependant on alcohol again which was also the case during last summer. It barely even makes me happy anymore yet I need it. I am craving it 24/7 and when I get beer or any type of alcohol I can't stop drinking.

I'm so ashamed of myself and I really don't know what to do anymore. I can't be happy

When you're taught to love everyone, to love your enemies, then what value does that place on love?
-Marilyn Manson

Android? We can't be friends sorry!!!!!
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Old February 5th, 2017, 07:29 AM   #31
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Default Re: I just want to die

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Originally Posted by The Special One View Post
I've thrown away all of my teen years. I'm turning 18 in 16 days and I don't want to turn 18. It's something I'm dreading and honestly I just want to die before that day.

I've become highly dependant on alcohol again which was also the case during last summer. It barely even makes me happy anymore yet I need it. I am craving it 24/7 and when I get beer or any type of alcohol I can't stop drinking.

I'm so ashamed of myself and I really don't know what to do anymore. I can't be happy
You posted this a view days ago. How do you feel now? Still that bad? Turning 18 can be scary but do you really wanna die? I mean yes life is shit and there are so many bad goings around but still...I personally always try to find some happiness in small trivial things it usually works for a lil time.... The alcohol thing...just don't overdo it okay...so yeah basically just a lil reminder from me that we are here and we care.
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Old February 5th, 2017, 08:39 AM   #32
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Default Re: I just want to die

I agree with @Peanut_
It's a tough time fight now. Lots of changes happening to. Lots of uncertainty. But just try and see past some of that so you can see a litttle good for right now
It will get better in time. Offing yourself isn't reversable, and we do care. Not just saying that either.
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Old February 5th, 2017, 07:57 PM   #33
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Default Re: I just want to die

I'm sorry to hear this and sadly I wont be much help. All I can say is I empathise entirely. How I envy those who can wake with a smile on their face very morning. I guess I want to say, you're not alone. Hang in there. People care. you may not of met these people yet, but they are out there. they do care.
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Old February 6th, 2017, 01:26 AM   #34
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Default Re: I just want to die

I appreciate the care, I really do so thank you. I used to be happy for like 3 months last year but that all went to shit and honestly that's the main reason why I'm like this. I had a good life, I was able to smile but that's all gone. I'm dependant on alcohol to make me even remotely happy and it made me realise how pathetic I really am.

@Peanut_ Still the same honestly. I really can't find anything to make me happy anymore. I have no motivation for anything and honestly driving to school everyday through traffic is a nightmare for the current mental state I'm in.

When you're taught to love everyone, to love your enemies, then what value does that place on love?
-Marilyn Manson

Android? We can't be friends sorry!!!!!
-Proof Bob is a peasant

~Richelle was here~
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Old February 6th, 2017, 09:16 AM   #35
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Default Re: I just want to die

Please don't do this...do you have any family or trusted adults you can talk to?

please think of me
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Old February 6th, 2017, 05:32 PM   #36
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Default Re: I just want to die

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Originally Posted by The Special One View Post
I appreciate the care, I really do so thank you. I used to be happy for like 3 months last year but that all went to shit and honestly that's the main reason why I'm like this. I had a good life, I was able to smile but that's all gone. I'm dependant on alcohol to make me even remotely happy and it made me realise how pathetic I really am.
You are not pathetic. You are a loved human being.

I think what you said above is something you need
To take a look at more. When you were happy, why? And what happened that changed that.

I know you probably don't want to talk about that publicly. You've said that.
But seems to me this is where all these feelings are
Coming from. And if not going to talk about it here (that's fine you don't it's your choice) you still need to irl. What ever that means for you.

And as impossible as that may seem, start with parents or who ever. Make that phone call, see a doctor, let your parents know. So they find out and don't like it.

It's abot you and getting better, and that's it. Comes down to it your health and happiness over theirs? It's your choice......

Seems to me that their already doing it to you, so no love lost there huh?
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Old February 6th, 2017, 10:20 PM   #37
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Default Re: I just want to die

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Special One View Post
I appreciate the care, I really do so thank you. I used to be happy for like 3 months last year but that all went to shit and honestly that's the main reason why I'm like this. I had a good life, I was able to smile but that's all gone. I'm dependant on alcohol to make me even remotely happy and it made me realise how pathetic I really am.

@Peanut_ Still the same honestly. I really can't find anything to make me happy anymore. I have no motivation for anything and honestly driving to school everyday through traffic is a nightmare for the current mental state I'm in.
Oh well...don't try to get killed in an accident. I was in a very severe car accident in fall and not even that one killed me. It just multiplied my problems since I am in constant pain now in addition to my other troubles.

And don't say you are pathetic you aren't. Trying to find happiness is hard and I'm not sure how someone from the outside can help you there. To hear from others that it will get better sometimes makes it even worse so I won't tell you that.
I will just tell you that if you are prepared not to give up and work on it in small steps you have the key to get better in your own hands.
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Old February 8th, 2017, 01:27 AM   #38
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Default Re: I just want to die

@parhelion I can't. I can't even contact my therapist anymore and I physically can't talk to my parents.
@Just JT I know what happened, and nothing can change that. Irl I have nobody to talk to. Nobody in my school knows me on a personal level and they sure as hell won't care if I were to dissapear. I can't talk to my parents it'll make them even more worried, they'll bombard me with questions and they'll be even more controlling, it'll make things worse.

When you're taught to love everyone, to love your enemies, then what value does that place on love?
-Marilyn Manson

Android? We can't be friends sorry!!!!!
-Proof Bob is a peasant

~Richelle was here~
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