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Old December 17th, 2016, 09:45 PM   #1
Pyromaniac27
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Default numb.

I mainly cut because I just feel numb. Not like a numb like being out in the cold too long, but like a numb where my brain feels like it just doesn't want to feel anything emotionally. I don't really know why I'm posting this, I guess for advice on how to stop this "numbness" or why this is.
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Old December 18th, 2016, 01:35 AM   #2
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Default Re: numb.

hm dunno... ever tried to talk to some professional about it?

I can't really give you any advice here cuz I self-harm for the quite opposite reason. I cut or hurt myself to calm down...numb myself by shutting everything out just focusing on pain.
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Old December 18th, 2016, 01:43 AM   #3
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Default Re: numb.

No one knows I cut, I do it on my shoulder so I can hide it, so,no professionals.

I cut because of the amount of hate and negativity in everyone and thing around me, it feels like the only thing I can do is sit there while my brain try to figure out why there is so much hate, so it just clogs itself, and says goodbye to all emotions and feelings. So after a few weeks, when I can't take the numbness, not feeling anything physically or emotionally, so I cut, and it unclogs me for someone else to come and scream hate down my mind again, over and over, weeks, months, years

"Fire, by that definition, is vibrantly alive. It eats everything from wood to flesh, excreting the waste as ash, and it breathes air just like a human, taking in oxygen and emitting carbon. Fire grows, and as it spreads, it creates new fires that spread out and make new fires of their own."

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Old December 18th, 2016, 02:30 AM   #4
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Default Re: numb.

Well you talked about some incident where ya cut at a friend's house so I thought maybe some people figured something is happening with ya.

Anyway the best thing still would be trying to find some sort of professional help. You talk about hatred and negativity around ya...should gives you this hatred? Why?
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Old December 18th, 2016, 02:32 AM   #5
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Default Re: numb.

My parents would kill me if I told them


Hatred: basically everyone in my school, my dad, my sister


The friend of my friends who purposely try to make me a 4th wheel and to make me look like a moron

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Old December 18th, 2016, 02:39 AM   #6
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Default Re: numb.

Why do you think they react so badly.
And what sort of hate? What are the reasons?
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Old December 18th, 2016, 02:45 AM   #7
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Default Re: numb.

Screaming yelling name calling, pushing shoving, bullying, the list continues.

Idk no one's really like hanging out withe so I guess Im just a moron doing something wrong in life making my friends hate me

"Fire, by that definition, is vibrantly alive. It eats everything from wood to flesh, excreting the waste as ash, and it breathes air just like a human, taking in oxygen and emitting carbon. Fire grows, and as it spreads, it creates new fires that spread out and make new fires of their own."
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Old December 18th, 2016, 02:53 AM   #8
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Default Re: numb.

So why would they treat you like that for no reason?

I don't think you are a moron and if your friends treat you like you say they aren't your friends. So I guess you have to find other people to hang out with.
I know that this is hard but the only way.

That's why seeking help is important. Do you have counselling for stuff like that at your school?
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Old December 18th, 2016, 02:54 AM   #9
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Default Re: numb.

I don't need counceling, that will just end me back at the it's time to tell your parents road

"Fire, by that definition, is vibrantly alive. It eats everything from wood to flesh, excreting the waste as ash, and it breathes air just like a human, taking in oxygen and emitting carbon. Fire grows, and as it spreads, it creates new fires that spread out and make new fires of their own."
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Old December 18th, 2016, 03:07 AM   #10
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yes of course it will given you are only 13. but I don't think there will be any other real solution. ignoring stuff won't lead to anything...I self-harm for many years now, tried to end my life a couple of times and will be stuck in that dead end till I die. so it's either that or get help and involving the parents.
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Old December 18th, 2016, 03:10 AM   #11
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Default Re: numb.

I used a belt to hang a noose in my room when I was 10, I try ed to use it, but it just broke what it was attached to
My dad has no emotion, he saw a body hanging from a meat hook and smiled. He grew up in Queens new york, as far as he's concerned, no fucks given

"Fire, by that definition, is vibrantly alive. It eats everything from wood to flesh, excreting the waste as ash, and it breathes air just like a human, taking in oxygen and emitting carbon. Fire grows, and as it spreads, it creates new fires that spread out and make new fires of their own."
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Old December 18th, 2016, 03:45 AM   #12
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Well dunno about Queens and how that alters his personality. My Dad's highly emotional and so two hurricanes meeting is kinda nasty too.

it's sad you tried to kill yourself at such a young age...but as long as you don't accept any help from the outside you must fight this fights alone and from personal experience I tell ya it won't be nice.
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Old December 18th, 2016, 03:50 AM   #13
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Default Re: numb.

Queens as in the hood, he worked in a butcher shop and delt with the mafia his whole life, he's seen people dead, and sometimes he hints on to the fact that he has killed some. Heart of stone and ice.

"Fire, by that definition, is vibrantly alive. It eats everything from wood to flesh, excreting the waste as ash, and it breathes air just like a human, taking in oxygen and emitting carbon. Fire grows, and as it spreads, it creates new fires that spread out and make new fires of their own."
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Old December 18th, 2016, 04:29 AM   #14
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Default Re: numb.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pyromaniac27 View Post
Queens as in the hood, he worked in a butcher shop and delt with the mafia his whole life, he's seen people dead, and sometimes he hints on to the fact that he has killed some. Heart of stone and ice.
Ah well okay I'm a Southerner so don't no much about dangerous places in NYC.

But still don't let people like him and their attitude bring you down to end up in a bad place.
You still can get better...yeah I know awesome advice from someone who is still depressed cuz he survived a car accident he had two months ago. I'm a real bad example, lol.
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Old December 18th, 2016, 04:39 AM   #15
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Default Re: numb.

did they post that here, i think i saw that

"Fire, by that definition, is vibrantly alive. It eats everything from wood to flesh, excreting the waste as ash, and it breathes air just like a human, taking in oxygen and emitting carbon. Fire grows, and as it spreads, it creates new fires that spread out and make new fires of their own."
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Old December 18th, 2016, 04:46 AM   #16
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Yeah I posted here I tend to post way too much about my depression and shitty life. But I can't really talk about it anywhere else.
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Old December 18th, 2016, 05:07 AM   #17
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Default Re: numb.

oh my god, that was you :o dude, screw my problems, are u doing alright

"Fire, by that definition, is vibrantly alive. It eats everything from wood to flesh, excreting the waste as ash, and it breathes air just like a human, taking in oxygen and emitting carbon. Fire grows, and as it spreads, it creates new fires that spread out and make new fires of their own."
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Old December 18th, 2016, 05:50 AM   #18
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I'm okay...and don't say that your problems are important, too.
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