Virtual Teen Forums
 

Go Back   Virtual Teen Forums > >
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read Chat Room

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old October 17th, 2016, 06:24 PM   #1
davdev17
Junior Member+
 
davdev17's Forum Picture
 
Name: David
Join Date: August 12, 2015
Location: Utah
Age: 18
Gender: Cisgender Male
Default What it's like to have depression

I wrote this about what it is like to have depression, for me:


When you have depression, everything sucks.

You choke down the pills everyday in hope that they will finally work. They donít.

The doctors switch you from medication to medication, and when none of them work, they say that this isnít a medicine problem.

Colors literally become duller.

Sad movies are sadder and happy movies arenít happy.

You try doing lots of different hobbies, but you canít find enjoyment in any of them.

You can actually sleep on Christmas Eve, because nothing excites you anymore.

A lot of the time you feel numb, but sometimes a wave of sadness will come crashing down on you and you can no longer stand so you sit down and feel completely exhausted while you try not to sob.

It is hard to sleep at night because you are thinking about how much you hate everything and you are fighting against yourself to stay alive.

When you do sleep, you donít dream.

No matter how much sleep you get you always feel tired.

Everybody around you is singing but you canít find your tune.

You have no motivation to do anything.

School sucks because if you do somehow get the motivation to do something, you canít focus on it.

You hate yourself for everything that you have ever done wrong.

You get told that you shouldnít feel this way because other people have it so much worse than you. That makes you feel even more guilty.

ďJust stop being sad.Ē How can I do that?

Everyone irritates you, even the people that you love the most, so you push everybody away and isolate yourself.

You donít want to go and visit family because the thought of pretending that you are happy exhausts you.

With every step that you take, the anvil on your heart gets heavier.

The thought of giving up crosses your mind daily, but you hold on only because you picture your how devastated your family would be at your funeral.

You walk around breathing, but you arenít living.

I'm David. I am gay, 18 and from Utah.
The right thing - what is it? I wonder, if you do the right thing, does it really make everyone happy?
davdev17 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 17th, 2016, 07:41 PM   #2
Just JT
sure, ask, dare you
 
Just JT's Forum Picture
 
Name: JT
Join Date: June 27, 2015
Location: Kingdom of God
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 4
Default Re: What it's like to have depression

I so get this
Just JT is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 17th, 2016, 07:47 PM   #3
Amethyst Rose
The Fragile
 
Amethyst Rose's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: May 27, 2016
Location: The Crystal Garden
Gender: Cisgender Female
Blog Entries: 22
Default Re: What it's like to have depression

I can identify with that... some painful memories there.

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."
PM Me Ask Me [email protected]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Desynchronized View Post
Gawd dammit the mods r so cruel.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Special One View Post
I just food and I still have a hungry.

Last edited by Amethyst Rose; October 17th, 2016 at 08:05 PM.
Amethyst Rose is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 21st, 2016, 10:22 PM   #4
Brightwolf
Nice Poster
 
Brightwolf's Forum Picture
 
Name: Rennoc
Join Date: February 22, 2014
Location: Mystery, Florida
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Default Re: What it's like to have depression

I've been feeling this lately.

~~Christian, I like exploring, video games, music, and writing~~

I'm just a small, highly sensitive, kid who's really really good at sneaking.
Brightwolf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 22nd, 2016, 12:18 AM   #5
NoahNoah
Member+
 
Name: Noah
Join Date: September 23, 2016
Location: Australia
Gender: Male
Default Re: What it's like to have depression

Not wanting to do anything. Not wanting to be anything. Not wanting to be at all. I don't necessarily want to die. I just want to have never existed.
NoahNoah is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 22nd, 2016, 08:50 AM   #6
Abhorrence
Death
 
Abhorrence's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: October 28, 2014
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 4
Default Re: What it's like to have depression

I wrote an entire poetry collection on depression. Sadness really lets the soul write better!


Nothing will be waiting for you at the end of this life.

Ask // Private Message
~Mike was here~
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elysium
Spooky scary labia
Likes: (2)
Abhorrence is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 22nd, 2016, 04:16 PM   #7
Shock96
Junior Member
 
Shock96's Forum Picture
 
Name: Matt
Join Date: March 20, 2011
Location: Wyoming
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Default Re: What it's like to have depression

I hope this is getting better for. It's definitely rough to experience, and like you said-- it's not as easy as just "cheering up." If it were that easy, I don't think anyone would be depressed.

Keep up the good fight, don't give up. Depression is most often treatable, but not without a lot of pain and effort from your end. If you give up, then it has truly won. Do you have a counselor that you see? I absolutely hate counseling. Don't like talking to people about my problems, especially when it's so hard to get out of bed and go to the appointments, but there's no denying that it's helpful.

It WILL get better for you, don't give up! And remember that you have a lot of people here more than willing to lend an ear.

Matt
Shock96 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 19th, 2016, 07:31 PM   #8
Pulp501
Nice Poster
 
Name: Brennon
Join Date: December 26, 2013
Location: Missouri
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Default Re: What it's like to have depression

This describes my thoughts and day to day life so perfectly. It's like I'm here physically in my body, but I have no life, at first it was like my spirit was dead, and now that has lead to me quite literally having no life because I've lost my friends, I've lost interest in the things I used to enjoy, I'm too sad to work, I just do nothing. The stuff about the family is totally true for me. I hate being around them and I've pushed them away to where I can no longer go to them for support, and I hate having to act happy around them, but they're the only reason I don't kill myself. Sometimes I actually resent them for that.

PM sometime, I love to talk



RIP Mama <3
Pulp501 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 21st, 2016, 06:29 PM   #9
ethan-s
Member++
 
Name: see username
Join Date: January 13, 2016
Location: USA
Gender: Male
Default Re: What it's like to have depression

Yep, you described it perfectly. Depression is a disease I would never wish on my worst enemy's.
ethan-s is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 22nd, 2016, 12:39 PM   #10
steellord321
Member++
 
Join Date: December 23, 2012
Gender: Undisclosed
Default Re: What it's like to have depression

Always tired is the worst for me. Its like being a hospital patient at times. I lay in bed for 3-4 days even in summer. When i can get up within an hour i look forward to sleep again. Its not even negative thoughts so much as lack of interest in the world

I knew i'd lose interest in certain things i loved as a kid but other teens all around me take up new interests. I can't get into any of it

I also agree about the stigma and others especially parents giving you relentless shit to "buck up" My brain is diseased and if i agree with them and start blaming myself for it all i don't see how i can continue

Maybe others can relate at least some
steellord321 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 27th, 2016, 06:17 AM   #11
benbeny
Member
 
Name: Benedictus
Join Date: December 18, 2014
Gender: Male
Default Re: What it's like to have depression

I am currently struggling with depression... and the mood stabilizer (valproate) only makes things worse... but without valproate I am getting anxious and very mood swings, from angry to sad in a couple of minutes...

A third year medical student
Feel free to PM me! I like to have new friends
benbeny is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:27 PM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright©2000 - 2017
Search Engine Optimisation provided by DragonByte SEO (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copyright © 2004 - 2017, VirtualTeen.org