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Old September 4th, 2016, 12:22 AM   #21
Cool Mojo
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Join Date: August 29, 2016
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Default Re: Breaking Down (potential trigger warning)

It aggravates me how close minded some fools in school be but always keep your head up. I can relate on a lot of this (especially the uncomfortable neck feeling lol). Always keep your head up high, and remember that it's the quality of your friends that matter, not the amount. It's always nice to be "popular " but that's not necessary at all. Your happiness should be top priority.
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Old September 4th, 2016, 01:09 AM   #22
WhoWhatWhen
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Default Re: Breaking Down (potential trigger warning)

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Special One View Post
I try to come over as the nice and supportive friend while I can't even be happy myself. I try to support my friends but I don't give a fuck about my own mood. Why should I? Everyone makes me feel like I'm a bad person anyway. Because people in my school would rather hurt me than getting to know the real me.

I am breaking down. My mood is getting worse and worse, I feel numb, I have no energy left and I don't feel excited for anything. I feel like a failure, a pathetic little cunt who doesn't even have more than 3 actual friends in school.

I hate my life. I'm not suicidal, I'm just fucking tired of this shit. I wanna be happy again. I want people to stop judging me. I want people to realise who I am, I want to be nice, but when someone pisses me off I loose my shit.
I feel you. A few months ago I felt like I had no purpose. Life was just a never ending hole. Everyone judged me and assumed that I was something that I was not. I didn't feel like doing anything. It was a struggle to get out of bed. I was nothing to everyone while being the center of attention for something I was not. And honestly, it's hard to get rid of that feeling. I'm dealing with it a little everyday.

One day I hit a low. I had the shittiest day I have ever had. I felt like nothing. All I wanted to do was curl up and never move. But I thought, I could either sit here and keep having these terrible, shitty days. Or I could get up and do something about it. That sounds so clich but I really mean it. Take everything you hate about yourself and turn it into things you know that you can't change. Or if you can change, change it. Why not?

Yeah, you're never going to be the perfect person someone wants you to be. But you are not terrible. I don't know you personally (obviously) but I can guarantee you are a better person than people make you feel like. Somewhere deep inside you is happiness and I hope you'll find it.

Okay I will stfu now.

Be young. Be dope. Be proud.
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Old September 4th, 2016, 06:10 PM   #23
DriveAlive
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Default Re: Breaking Down (potential trigger warning)

This sounds very serious and I understand why you are afraid to get help, but I hope you do if you are seriously considering hurting yourself. Please stay away from destructive behavior because it does not make you feel any better. I have been struggling a lot lately and drugs only makes it worse.

It is good that you are talking about it. I feel better when I share these feelings instead of keeping them to myself and VT is a great place to do just that.

I think that it is really important that you build a trusted group of friends. It took me up until this summer to finally make real friends that I could tell anything to, but it was well worth the time and effort. A lot of people are going to have to pass through your life before you meet the right ones. All of my friends have already started college and I have been so depressed without them. We still text and sometimes FaceTime and that makes me feel so much better. I do not know where I would be without them right now.

I do not have any advice about your OCD, but it seems like it is being brought on by your other emotions and should resolve itself when you are feeling better. When I am feeling really bad, I can barely do anything because of it and it gets better when I start to feel better.

Sometimes I feel like the best approach when you feel this way is to find something that you can delve into. Maybe some new music or a book. It would also be helpful if you tried to focus on completely a goal, like writing a book or building something. If you can focus your energy and mind on something constructive, it can help bring you up.

I hope what I said was at least a little helpful. I really do not have the answers right now because I thought I did and I have been severely depressed lately so clearly I do not. I can only try to help you through this. Please do not be afraid to talk to me anytime if you need to.

19 | Vegan | Bisexual | Republican

Here is my AMA thread, please ask me anything!
http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/sh....php?t=2030289
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