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Old June 20th, 2016, 02:09 PM   #1
Dalcourt
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Default Being without meds for three weeks now

I have been on and off several medications for my bipolar disorder due to some health issues I had to stop taking my mood stabilisers about three weeks ago.

Up to now I feel really good. I mean of course I feel my mental problems. The effects they have on me...and it's not that I'm all super happy and stuff...I clearly feel my situation and all.
What feels good is that I'm my real self...nothing subdued or fake created by meds that somehow change me...and have
bad affects on my whole body.

I could now take them again cuz the health issues I had are gone again. I know it will just end badly if I don't take them...but I'm just so happy at the moment to have my real emotions back.
I know I'll harm myself...it's just so freaking difficult at the moment to start taking 'em again.
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Old June 20th, 2016, 02:58 PM   #2
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Default Re: Being without meds for three weeks now

Quote:
Originally Posted by Peanut_ View Post
I have been on and off several medications for my bipolar disorder due to some health issues I had to stop taking my mood stabilisers about three weeks ago.

Up to now I feel really good. I mean of course I feel my mental problems. The effects they have on me...and it's not that I'm all super happy and stuff...I clearly feel my situation and all.
What feels good is that I'm my real self...nothing subdued or fake created by meds that somehow change me...and have
bad affects on my whole body.

I could now take them again cuz the health issues I had are gone again. I know it will just end badly if I don't take them...but I'm just so happy at the moment to have my real emotions back.
I know I'll harm myself...it's just so freaking difficult at the moment to start taking 'em again.
I understand how awesome it must feels without the pills but please go back on them


I'm a prettyyy awkward weeb that likes alcohol and punk rock :')
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Old June 20th, 2016, 03:06 PM   #3
Dalcourt
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Default Re: Being without meds for three weeks now

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheFlapjack View Post
I understand how awesome it must feels without the pills but please go back on them
yeah I know. the awesomeness wouldn't last long anyway before I get into a phase of either acting like a huge asshole around people I like or doing self distructive self harming borderline suicidal shit
I hate this all so much, lol.
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Old June 20th, 2016, 03:08 PM   #4
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Default Re: Being without meds for three weeks now

Quote:
Originally Posted by Peanut_ View Post
yeah I know. the awesomeness wouldn't last long anyway before I get into a phase of either acting like a huge asshole around people I like or doing self distructive self harming borderline suicidal shit
I hate this all so much, lol.
Can you not feel good on the meds? I have never been on these so I don't know what it's like but I know people get these drugs illegally because they make them so happy, could you not think of it like this? Being happy is awesome


I'm a prettyyy awkward weeb that likes alcohol and punk rock :')
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Old June 20th, 2016, 03:30 PM   #5
Dalcourt
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Default Re: Being without meds for three weeks now

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Originally Posted by TheFlapjack View Post
Can you not feel good on the meds? I have never been on these so I don't know what it's like but I know people get these drugs illegally because they make them so happy, could you not think of it like this? Being happy is awesome
Yeah of course I can feel happy while being on meds, too. As long as anyone can feel happy living my crappy life...
The meds are more or less to calm me...so that I don't get those mood swings from feeling on top of the world for one day and being deprssed as fuck on the other.
It's not like they make me numb or high...they just help me to be... dunno normal?

Whitout them all things I do are kinda extreme...being extremely happy, sad, aggressive, violent, getting a higher sex drive and so on.

I'm perfectly aware that it is way better for me and especially the people around me to take them...it's just I then feel kinda fake. Like people meeting me think I'm a nice guy but without meds honestly I am so often acting like a huge asshole. If they had met me like this they would never wanted to be my friends...so it's like playing some role for them like lying.

Does this even make sense what I'm trying to explain? ?
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Old June 20th, 2016, 03:31 PM   #6
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Default Re: Being without meds for three weeks now

Quote:
Originally Posted by Peanut_ View Post
Yeah of course I can feel happy while being on meds, too. As long as anyone can feel happy living my crappy life...
The meds are more or less to calm me...so that I don't get those mood swings from feeling on top of the world for one day and being deprssed as fuck on the other.
It's not like they make me numb or high...they just help me to be... dunno normal?

Whitout them all things I do are kinda extreme...being extremely happy, sad, aggressive, violent, getting a higher sex drive and so on.

I'm perfectly aware that it is way better for me and especially the people around me to take them...it's just I then feel kinda fake. Like people meeting me think I'm a nice guy but without meds honestly I am so often acting like a huge asshole. If they had met me like this they would never wanted to be my friends...so it's like playing some role for them like lying.

Does this even make sense what I'm trying to explain? ?
It makes perfect sense my friend why is your life so crappy? ya know I am here for you if you need me or want to talk!


I'm a prettyyy awkward weeb that likes alcohol and punk rock :')
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Old June 20th, 2016, 03:47 PM   #7
Dalcourt
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Default Re: Being without meds for three weeks now

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheFlapjack View Post
It makes perfect sense my friend why is your life so crappy? ya know I am here for you if you need me or want to talk!
my life is crappy because of so many things, ya know.
mostly cuz I'm a freak in so many ways.
having mental health problems and being gay is really making your life great when you are a person of color and in addition don't have a lot of money. these things are even better when you live in the deep depths of southern usa.
it gets even better if your father is an abusive drug addict who just beats you up whenever he feels like it but you are way too stupid to just report him...so yeah...story of my life.

ahh you are being nice and I'm just answering so sarcastically...guess I have to get back on my meds cuz without them I really al2ays act like an asshole for no reason,sorry.
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