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Old December 30th, 2015, 08:52 AM   #1
Tesserax
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Default Is being tired of living the same as being suicidal?

I really don't know how I feel right now. It's weird, but it's a case of I'm tired of living, and if I die then so bit it. But I'm not exactly suicidal, as in I don't want to kill myself, and I probably won't, but if death comes I wouldn't fight it. I'm just tired of having to fight through life for such a small amount of good as a reward.

I don't know where to put this really, but I guess this is a good place. I'm a little confused honestly, and I guess I'm sort of just getting this off my chest, but help on understanding my own situation would be much appreciated.

Thanks for reading guys, you're all awesome.

Hey guys, this is partially for me but also for anybody else who may want it; my diary: http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/fo...play.php?f=514

For those who care: I've changed my username, I used to be Doc. Maestro
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Old December 30th, 2015, 11:55 AM   #2
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Default Re: Is being tired of living the same as being suicidal?

In a way yes, this could be considered as feeling passively suicidal as you don't seem to have much care for the value of your own life. But if you're not actively making plans or threats, well, it's sort of on a thin line. But, in my experience, a lot of people would still consider this apathy to be suicidal behaviour even if you don't think it is. And it's often these passive thoughts that lead to more active ones. Once you get the idea into your head that you might be "better off" dead, it's very difficult to shake the mindset.

Have you spoken to anyone about this, perhaps to find some coping strategies that will help you feel better about yourself so this is not a recurring thought? I know how it feels and it's not pleasant.
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Old December 30th, 2015, 12:15 PM   #3
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Default Re: Is being tired of living the same as being suicidal?

no i don't think it's the same thing as being suicidal because suicidal means wanting to end ones own life i have felt similar to what you feel now such as thinking if a car came maybe i wouldn't move out of the way it is dangerous because it is likely to lead to suicidal thoughts you should try talking to a friend and doing things that make you happy so you hopefully feel better

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Old December 30th, 2015, 09:33 PM   #4
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Default Re: Is being tired of living the same as being suicidal?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Widow View Post
In a way yes, this could be considered as feeling passively suicidal as you don't seem to have much care for the value of your own life. But if you're not actively making plans or threats, well, it's sort of on a thin line. But, in my experience, a lot of people would still consider this apathy to be suicidal behaviour even if you don't think it is. And it's often these passive thoughts that lead to more active ones. Once you get the idea into your head that you might be "better off" dead, it's very difficult to shake the mindset.

Have you spoken to anyone about this, perhaps to find some coping strategies that will help you feel better about yourself so this is not a recurring thought? I know how it feels and it's not pleasant.
I don't actually think or feel that I might be better off dead, but I'm just tired. Like, I can't be bothered, and I do it anyway but I would welcome death. I've had opportunities that spring in my head to kill myself, jumping in front of a car or similar things that could kill me quickly, but I choose not to. It's a subconscious choice, but it's a choice nonetheless. I wouldn't actually kill myself, or think that I should be dead, nor do I actually WANT to be dead, but I wouldn't mind being dead, if you get my meaning. Like, if lightning strikes me and I die, cool. If heaven actually exists and I go there too early, I would be like "Meh, I was getting bored of that life anyway". I'd pretty much only be sad for my parents and friends, but personally I wouldn't mind being dead.

Hey guys, this is partially for me but also for anybody else who may want it; my diary: http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/fo...play.php?f=514

For those who care: I've changed my username, I used to be Doc. Maestro
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Old December 31st, 2015, 01:31 AM   #5
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Default Re: Is being tired of living the same as being suicidal?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yan Hearn View Post
I don't actually think or feel that I might be better off dead, but I'm just tired. Like, I can't be bothered, and I do it anyway but I would welcome death. I've had opportunities that spring in my head to kill myself, jumping in front of a car or similar things that could kill me quickly, but I choose not to. It's a subconscious choice, but it's a choice nonetheless. I wouldn't actually kill myself, or think that I should be dead, nor do I actually WANT to be dead, but I wouldn't mind being dead, if you get my meaning. Like, if lightning strikes me and I die, cool. If heaven actually exists and I go there too early, I would be like "Meh, I was getting bored of that life anyway". I'd pretty much only be sad for my parents and friends, but personally I wouldn't mind being dead.
Regardless, it's not a healthy mindset and I think a lot of suicidal individuals start out with these thoughts so it's not something you should just ignore. Thinking of ways to die, whether or not you plan to act on these thoughts, is not a sign of good mental health and it would be best to speak to someone about it.
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Old December 31st, 2015, 07:05 AM   #6
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Default Re: Is being tired of living the same as being suicidal?

I would say this is not being suicidal, but it is certainly a warning sign that you may become suicidal, and it shouldn't be ignored.

My feelings started off as this type of thing and did become worse and I did become genuinely suicidal so definitely keep an eye on it. Even so, as others have said, it's not a healthy mindset to have and maybe you should look at getting some help in order to stop it getting any further.

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Old January 7th, 2016, 05:28 PM   #7
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Default Re: Is being tired of living the same as being suicidal?

Yeah, not caring if you live or not its never a good thing. And a woiring signe. Maybe more activety socializing andchange of rutine might help. But its always the best to tlk such mattrs ower face to facewith someone close to you.

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Old January 7th, 2016, 07:03 PM   #8
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Default Re: Is being tired of living the same as being suicidal?

Oh yeah I've had this mindset.

I broke out of it by realizing that my living presence actually helps people.

For instance I give my perspective on life matters here partly because it's something I couldn't do if dead.

There seems to be a positive response so therefore my initial conclusion that my life doesn't matter is a null and void concept.

I also recognize that death will come naturally, so I have no need to rush it, and also if in a scenario where I need to sacrifice my life to save others, I've a more courageous mindset than others who might hesitate out of fear.

That mindset is a valuable one if you can harness it's power through love and compassion rather than apathy.
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Old January 8th, 2016, 02:59 PM   #9
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Default Re: Is being tired of living the same as being suicidal?

I dont thing is the same thing but they are related very close.
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Old January 8th, 2016, 03:21 PM   #10
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Default Re: Is being tired of living the same as being suicidal?

It's actually called borderline suicidal. You have suicidal thoughts but you're not making plans to actually pursue it. No it's not being suicidal but it takes one step before you become suicidal.

It's a border that is crossed eventually without any help.

Counseling is the best way to go from here. They will give you excellent coping strategies and will give you someone to talk to.

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Old January 14th, 2016, 06:17 PM   #11
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Default Re: Is being tired of living the same as being suicidal?

No. Getting tired of living and killing yourself are two seperate things. Many people, including me, could care less if a bad guy got killed painlessly by a bad person, but we would do anything to enhance someone else's life. It's called being selfless, something not a lot of people are or can even relate to.

Then there's actually wanting to kill yourself which in any sense is controversially a side effect of depression, true clinically diagnosed depression, which is usually a temporary mental disorder.
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Old February 20th, 2016, 04:39 AM   #12
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Default Re: Is being tired of living the same as being suicidal?

I feel the exact same way.I have arthritis so I am usually tired of life but I would never kill myself.
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