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Old February 15th, 2016, 03:32 AM   #1
Body odah Man
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Default Strong self hatred

This will most likely be my last thread on these issues, but I decided to make one more to wrap things up. Recently I've been feeling a lot of self hatred. It used to be only when I relapsed on overcoming my addiction, but lately I've felt it almost daily, like I deserve self inflicted pain and punishment and to be damned. I feel like one of the world's biggest assholes and like I don't deserve my friends. Is this normal? Anyone know any good ways to get over this? I don't want to see a psychologist cuz don't want medication and an inner voice claims I'm just overreacting whenever I think of seeing one.

Just a chilling teen that hates baths, collects Yugioh cards and loves Runescape
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Old February 15th, 2016, 03:43 PM   #2
amgb
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Default Re: Strong self hatred

Hey~ Overcoming any addiction and going through thoughts of self harm will most likely bring about feelings that you wouldn't usually feel, but you are in the middle of trying to beat an addiction and it's alright. I don't know any good ways to get over this, but you can get over this. I believe in you and you're not alone. I understand not wanting to see a psychologist, I don't really like the idea of seeing a psychologist either and I hate the prospect of being given medication too, I understand. Psychologists will never prescribe you medication or a certain treatment unless they've spoken to you about it first and made sure it's okay with you. You don't even have to see a psychologist on a regular basis, they wouldn't force you to do that unless they're seriously worried about you and think you need the sessions. A psychologist is there to help you with anything, including overcoming your addiction, but I know you're worried about it. Nobody deserves to feel self-hate, it's a dark feeling. You deserve to feel better about yourself, and to not have to feel so alone in dealing with this. If you ever need someone, I'll always be here to try and help~~~

Raise your words, not voice. It is {light} rain that grows flowers, not thunder. ― Jalaluddin Rumi
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Old February 15th, 2016, 06:17 PM   #3
Microcosm
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Default Re: Strong self hatred

@Body odah Man,

You're totally welcome to make different threads for different issues or revive old ones for the same issues. No one here thinks any less of you if you do. You're welcome any time to reach out for help on VT.

On medication: I am of the belief that medicating a teen is a harmful practice. It provides short-term relief but can often make people become reliant on the meds and it can also dull their personality along with other adverse effects. In my opinion, medication should be a last resort.

Seeing a counselor can be very useful. Once you develop a relationship with a professional, they can really work out pathways for you to follow that will help you achieve more mental stability. I'd recommend looking into a counselor. If you don't want to take meds, that's okay. They should respect that choice.

Also, if you're going to take meds or if you decide to, I think it's best to start small(and that's probably what they'll prescribe you anyways: a small dosage at first) and then be very careful when thinking about raising that dosage. For instance, I am medicated and have been for years, but I believe I only upped my dosage once by a very small bit. I never wanted to go higher even if I felt like I needed to. I won't take that risk.

As for addiction, you're really the only one who can make the decision to stop it. It's extremely difficult, but it can be done with a lot of willpower. A common fault people will fall into is calling themselves a victim, claiming it's an unsolvable mental disorder, and then just stuffing their problems away and/or taking tons of unnecessary meds when the better way to solve the problem is by yourself, to learn to face it head-on rather than trying to artificially put yourself in a safe spot.

I know this post was kind of a rant. I hope you get better, man. Don't feel ashamed to ask for help.
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Old February 16th, 2016, 02:04 AM   #4
Body odah Man
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Default Re: Strong self hatred

Quote:
Originally Posted by aNdMoRe View Post
Hey~ Overcoming any addiction and going through thoughts of self harm will most likely bring about feelings that you wouldn't usually feel, but you are in the middle of trying to beat an addiction and it's alright. I don't know any good ways to get over this, but you can get over this. I believe in you and you're not alone. I understand not wanting to see a psychologist, I don't really like the idea of seeing a psychologist either and I hate the prospect of being given medication too, I understand. Psychologists will never prescribe you medication or a certain treatment unless they've spoken to you about it first and made sure it's okay with you. You don't even have to see a psychologist on a regular basis, they wouldn't force you to do that unless they're seriously worried about you and think you need the sessions. A psychologist is there to help you with anything, including overcoming your addiction, but I know you're worried about it. Nobody deserves to feel self-hate, it's a dark feeling. You deserve to feel better about yourself, and to not have to feel so alone in dealing with this. If you ever need someone, I'll always be here to try and help~~~
Thank you. Gunna see someone today, so let's see how it goes. I rlly appreciate your help

Quote:
Originally Posted by Microcosm View Post
@Body odah Man,

You're totally welcome to make different threads for different issues or revive old ones for the same issues. No one here thinks any less of you if you do. You're welcome any time to reach out for help on VT.

On medication: I am of the belief that medicating a teen is a harmful practice. It provides short-term relief but can often make people become reliant on the meds and it can also dull their personality along with other adverse effects. In my opinion, medication should be a last resort.

Seeing a counselor can be very useful. Once you develop a relationship with a professional, they can really work out pathways for you to follow that will help you achieve more mental stability. I'd recommend looking into a counselor. If you don't want to take meds, that's okay. They should respect that choice.

Also, if you're going to take meds or if you decide to, I think it's best to start small(and that's probably what they'll prescribe you anyways: a small dosage at first) and then be very careful when thinking about raising that dosage. For instance, I am medicated and have been for years, but I believe I only upped my dosage once by a very small bit. I never wanted to go higher even if I felt like I needed to. I won't take that risk.

As for addiction, you're really the only one who can make the decision to stop it. It's extremely difficult, but it can be done with a lot of willpower. A common fault people will fall into is calling themselves a victim, claiming it's an unsolvable mental disorder, and then just stuffing their problems away and/or taking tons of unnecessary meds when the better way to solve the problem is by yourself, to learn to face it head-on rather than trying to artificially put yourself in a safe spot.

I know this post was kind of a rant. I hope you get better, man. Don't feel ashamed to ask for help.
The medication/psychologist isn't for the addiction; it's (potentially) for the self hatred and voices and all that. Thanks for the info on meds

Just a chilling teen that hates baths, collects Yugioh cards and loves Runescape
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