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Old October 5th, 2015, 04:16 AM   #1
Legoboy
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Default What happens next

So my abuser has 4 years of jail time left and I think could get out early if he does good behaviour. He's already proved he's very good at faking it because he got away with it for so long, so I'm pretty sure he could get out sooner.

I have people looking after me who tell me stuff, and you know how it is they dont want to scare you, but some of them are more honest and realistic than others.

In theory he won't know where I am because i'm in a different area but I'm basically scared a lot about what happens, so basically what i'm asking is this, has anyone had experiences of what happens when their abuser is out of prison? Like how good are we protected, what can we do to protect ourselves more?
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Old October 15th, 2015, 09:54 AM   #2
Just JT
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Default Re: What happens next

I'm not sure how things like this work in your country, that would be a good question for your case worker and or lawyer.

Where I live, the abuser will have a restraining order against them and not be allowed to have contact with their victim at all, if ther violate the restraining order, they can and will be sent back to jail. Especily if the victim is a minor child
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Old October 17th, 2015, 07:42 AM   #3
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Default Re: What happens next

Yeah this is what I'm saying, they'll tell you stuff but can you trust them? I'm a little kid to them, and with my verbal communcation issues most adults think I'm a retard. Plus its not them at risk, like if the system works so great like they say, how did it take so long for us to end up here?

So what i've been told is that they can't make me see him if I don't want to and he's supposedly banned from me anyway so fine. Except I also read some stuff online that theres only ever been 3 dad's who have lost prentatal rights in the uk. 3! So what the ...

So idk I mean I wasn't in a good place to remember a lot of the stuff I was told when all the court stuff was happening. And my "team" (as my councseller calls them all) I know they edit stuff to protect me because of my issues and anxiety and shit, so its not always the whole picture, you know. I mean I'm always going to find some stuff to worry about they might as well give me the real deal.
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Old October 18th, 2015, 04:36 PM   #4
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Default Re: What happens next

In most European countries, if your parents were married at the time you were born, then the court cannot take away parental rights, and the parents cannot cede those rights.

The court can bar the parent from seeing you, however.

One thing you should do is talk to your guardian ad litem, or whatever the UK version of that is (the representative of the state who has legal custody/guardianship of you). They are the ones to explain what is really happening. Tell him/her that you want to know it all, and to tell all of it to you, even if it is hard to understand. It's also nice to have an advocate of some type present, who can explain it to you.
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Old October 19th, 2015, 11:23 AM   #5
Legoboy
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Default Re: What happens next

Thanks @Jaffe. I think they did all that already so I don't know how easy it would be just to be like hey guys I kind of wasn't listening could we do that again. But we went over some of this tonight at counselling so yeah its not great but at least I know more.

Since I wrote the first post we've got more happening so my foster parents can get special guardingship which gives them prenatal rights over me and that way I don't belong to the state until my alleged father gets out and talks his way into getting me back and once they've got that right its really unlikely he could get me back because then I wouldn't be in foster care officially I think. And then they have some other things on top of that they're going to try to do to make it more permanent.

So yeah its still stressy and can go wrong but I understand the plan now so thats all cool.
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Old October 31st, 2015, 05:31 PM   #6
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Default Re: What happens next

Hah, what happened to them? they are all walking freely now and I can't do anything for that. This thing makes me crazy. Well anyway, learn how to defense yourself (in a physical way of course and this is gonna help, trust me)
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Old November 3rd, 2015, 12:42 PM   #7
Legoboy
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Default Re: What happens next

Quote:
Originally Posted by EmilySmith View Post
Hah, what happened to them? they are all walking freely now and I can't do anything for that. This thing makes me crazy. Well anyway, learn how to defense yourself (in a physical way of course and this is gonna help, trust me)
After 12+ years of being physically abused I know its pointless trying to defend myself against an adult who outweighs me by well over double my weight and has over a foot in height on me and hurts me worse the more I resist. This is exactly why I am scared because if the law and everything doesn't protect me I am fucked.
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