![]() |
![]() |
#1 |
Junior Member+
![]() Name: Piper
Join Date: January 21, 2015
Location: Canada
Age: 18
Gender:
![]() |
![]()
As a young child I was physically abused by my mother until she passed when I was seven.
With that extra room available (because my parents didn't sleep in the same room), my uncle moved in and repeatedly raped me until I was eight, when he was put behind bars. Much of these memories have been repressed, I hardly remember much of my childhood before age thirteen, and most of the memories I do have are just normal ones like losing my first tooth, etc. My dad and sister recently told me about many things that have happened in the past that I didn't previously know about. Most of the stuff that happened to me, also happened to my sister, but she actually remembers most of it. Now with this new found information things are starting to make sense. I distrust and fear people to an abnormal degree. My whole body starts shaking when I speak to people, occasionally even my friends. When I notice that I'm getting close to a person I often feel a strong need to isolate myself from them for a long while before talking to them again. Has anyone else had any issues like this as a result of abuse? Also, does anyone else have repressed memories? If so, how did you react when someone told you about something you didn't remember had happened? Female-bodied agender | panromantic asexual
Neutral pronouns please (they/them/ze/hir - pronounced "here"). I'm painfully shy and I have really bad anxiety, if you ever message me or something and I don't respond, it probably has nothing to do with you, I'm just being weird. |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2 | |
Great Poster
![]() |
![]() Quote:
I've never been abused per say, but I have repressed memories and regrets. They definitely haunt me, whether they come in forms of guilt, fear or anxiety. However, I have a good long-term memory, so things don't really get past me. ![]() You'll always be my thunder, so bring on the rain.
|
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#3 | |
Junior Member+
![]() Name: Piper
Join Date: January 21, 2015
Location: Canada
Age: 18
Gender:
![]() |
![]() Quote:
Female-bodied agender | panromantic asexual
Neutral pronouns please (they/them/ze/hir - pronounced "here"). I'm painfully shy and I have really bad anxiety, if you ever message me or something and I don't respond, it probably has nothing to do with you, I'm just being weird. |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#4 | |
Great Poster
![]() |
![]() Quote:
Has it helped? If it hasn't, that's another story. ![]() You'll always be my thunder, so bring on the rain.
|
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#5 |
Legendary Member
![]() Name: Seth
Join Date: October 10, 2014
Location: Ann Arbor, MI
Age: 19
Gender:
![]() |
![]()
you should go. they spent many years of schooling and training to help people for a living. it is a non-judgmental zone and they will very likely be able to help you
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#6 | ||
Junior Member+
![]() Name: Piper
Join Date: January 21, 2015
Location: Canada
Age: 18
Gender:
![]() |
![]() Quote:
It has helped a little bit. But it also hasn't because I've been shaking even more than usual since I started talking to him, because he's a stranger, which is scary for me. But I guess in a way that's a good thing, I'm facing my fears by talking to him. Quote:
I'll definitely try at least. Female-bodied agender | panromantic asexual
Neutral pronouns please (they/them/ze/hir - pronounced "here"). I'm painfully shy and I have really bad anxiety, if you ever message me or something and I don't respond, it probably has nothing to do with you, I'm just being weird. |
||
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#7 | |
Great Poster
![]() |
![]() Quote:
![]() You'll always be my thunder, so bring on the rain.
|
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#8 | |
Legendary Member
![]() Name: Seth
Join Date: October 10, 2014
Location: Ann Arbor, MI
Age: 19
Gender:
![]() |
![]() Quote:
|
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#9 |
Junior Member
![]() Join Date: August 31, 2015
Location: Romania
Age: 16
Gender:
![]() |
![]()
Repressed memories? Well yes, I don't remember much from about 5 years of my life. I mean, I remember where I went on trips and holidays, I remember my classmates' names, but that's about it. I don't remember what I did at home those years, I don't remember how I felt at home during those 5 years.
Probably the result of the child abuse from my mom that has been happening at the time. Back then it was both physical and emotional, but now I can at least pysically defend myself. Not so much on the emotional part. One thing that I realize and it makes me very angry is that I didn't care about anything. I was like a zombie: I went to school without thinking what I wore or did, barely talked to my classmates and I'm getting a head ache from thinking about this. You should definitely go to the psychiatrist if you can. Sometimes I imagine what I would say when I would be in front of one and it makes me feel better. I think I can relate a bit: it's very difficult to talk so openly to strangers. |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#10 |
Junior Member
![]() Join Date: September 1, 2015
Gender:
![]() Blog Entries: 1
|
![]()
Repressed memories are mainly caused by extremely traumatic events. Especially taking place in childhood. They call it traumatic amnesia, and it usually stems from childhood sexual abuse, so I believe it is natural that you are experiencing it. From what you have said, you've dealt with a lot of trauma early on in life. I've experienced some abuse in my childhood, but it never formed into repressed memories.
Talking to therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists are all an extremely difficult path to take but it does get easier in time, and I believe it will help you in the long run. It took me a very long time to get in a comfortable level with my therapist, but I definitely saw positive changes in myself once I opened up and got the help I needed. It can also take time to find a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist who connects well with you, so if the one you currently have doesn't do much for you, there are always several more out there. Don't give up yet just because you feel uncomfortable with talking to a stranger. Sometimes it is beneficial for us to step out of our comfort zones. Keep facing your fears, and don't back down from them. It gradually becomes more natural and you'll start feeling better once you allow yourself to adjust. I am very sorry you've had to go through all of this and I do hope things get easier for you in the long run. Good luck with everything! |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#11 |
Junior Member
![]() Join Date: October 2, 2015
Gender:
![]() |
![]()
Yes!
My grandfather molested me when I was kid and my grand mom beat me… I don't have much memories about it… my mother thinks that, your brain barry the memories, to stay sane… but I can completely understand, wheat do you mean, about isolating… just know, that you aren't the only one. Contact with me freely if you want to. |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#12 | |
I give a actual fuck
![]() Name: JT
Join Date: June 27, 2015
Location: Kingdom of God
Gender:
![]() Blog Entries: 4
|
![]()
I can understand this on many levels
I was physically abused by mom, sexually by my uncle for years I now suffer from PSTD ODD and IED due to my rage and anger I've made a lot of progress since I've been out of their care, but it isn't easy Your not alone, there are actually many survivors here in VT Many just don't like to talk publicly about it, but it does help in the long run to talk... |
|
|
||
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|