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Old August 7th, 2015, 12:44 AM   #1
littlerieyn
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Default anyone willing to give advice..?

the summertime becomes a very hard time for me.. i find myself looking at all these beach bodies and all this stuff promoting losing weight quick.. FitTea, lemon-honey detox etcetc....

Now I'm not saying that i am most certainly suffering from anorexia nervosa b/c there are REAL people who struggle with it to dangerous extents but.. i find myself dedicating a week or two to not eating anything.. or having moments when i just real feel... like... so fat to people. Thing is.. I'm always told otherwise.. "oh you're so tiny!" "You weigh so little" blah blah blah... but honestly hearing those comments makes me want to lose weight even more because i feel like i don't fit that image people place me in... I mean.. I'm pretty open about my weight and stuff and it's not like im struggling with keeping it at an average place b/c if anything im a bit below average of someone my height on a normal basis if not just average...but even then i don't feel like its enough ya know..? Like.... i could/can work harder to lose that weight. And especially with the new school year coming soon and I'm moving AND transferring to a new school AGAIN (this is like the fifth time...) i just.... i don't know.....

it becomes overwhelming... and them my mom has started to notice my weight drops (i went to losing nearly 20lbs in the span of like.... 2 months from not eating enough..) and shes starting to get frustrated with me.. basically kinda force-feeding me saying how "i'm shriveling away." and i mean... that doesn't want to make me want to eat more than i already have.. it honestly makes me want to eat less and i hate that i'm feeling that way towards the situation but i am! I like started to become scared.. of myself and what i could be capable of...

So i took it in my own hands to take some online tests/surveys and talk to my doctor about it etc etc... All in which returned in having "strong tendencies to anorexia nervosa" on a 85-100% average in these tests and results.. But even from that.. i look at these results and then feel... "well why not make it official and really do some damage to my body..?" And that's scary to think bout ya know..? i don't look at it and feel like i should i concern myself in gaining that lost weight back... I look to try to find ways to maybe decrease it even more and try to decrease it faster ways--now referring back to those fat burning teas, detox's etc etc... Because in all honesty.. the thought of starving myself is scary to me but then the outcome is something i find myself craving so bad..... And I'm just... I'm reaching that point where its becoming easier and easier to say no to food..

Last edited by littlerieyn; August 7th, 2015 at 02:40 AM. Reason: change title
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Old August 7th, 2015, 03:57 AM   #2
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Default Re: anyone willing to give advice..?

Hasn't your doctor suggested some kind of therapy?! If not, get a new doctor.

All the thoughts you have are very clearly related to anorexia and you won't get better until you deal with the thoughts. Putting on weight isn't what makes you better, it's getting your head in a better place. Anorexia thoughts are something that will always stay with you to some extent, it's just learning how to deal with them.

You brought hate, pills and knives,
And this is how the tale begins.
Its your life, exist and wonder why.
When it only fails to work,
It only fails to work sometimes
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Old August 7th, 2015, 09:25 PM   #3
littlerieyn
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Default Re: anyone willing to give advice..?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiction View Post
Hasn't your doctor suggested some kind of therapy?! If not, get a new doctor.

All the thoughts you have are very clearly related to anorexia and you won't get better until you deal with the thoughts. Putting on weight isn't what makes you better, it's getting your head in a better place. Anorexia thoughts are something that will always stay with you to some extent, it's just learning how to deal with them.
basically she was like "well your test results came back 85-100% to having strong tendencies towards anorexia nervosa... one of these tests even reaching 98%. Call this number to get some help and talk to some people if you like.." and that was it lol
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Old August 9th, 2015, 08:15 AM   #4
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Default Re: anyone willing to give advice..?

Well I'd say the first step them is to call that number and see what happens- they may be able to give you access to therapy etc which you clearly need.

If they can't, go back to your doctor or find a new one. Or maybe see someone at school about it if you have a school counsellor?

You brought hate, pills and knives,
And this is how the tale begins.
Its your life, exist and wonder why.
When it only fails to work,
It only fails to work sometimes
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Old August 11th, 2015, 04:38 PM   #5
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Default Re: anyone willing to give advice..?

hi, ok so earlier today I spent half an hour writing a reply to this that then got accidentally deleted so sorry if this is shorter than I had wanted it to be.

Anyway, what I said first was that I have suffered from anorexia for a year and I'm well on my way to recovery. I'm doing really good.

I wanted to tell you that it sounds like you have anorexia nervosa. In my experience, what happened was I went to the dr and he didn't seem concerened. My reaction to that was me thinking silently "right then, well if it's not that bad, surely I should starve myslef enough for people to take my condition seriously"
If I could tell myself now, " be careful what you wish for". The dr was really worried, but he didn't want to let it onto me until it got a bit worse because lots of kids go through low self esteem and their parents worry about them dieting.

I feel like maybe you are going through the same thing as I had done?

I spent 3 months in a impatient unit away from my family.

It all started with me wanting to prove that my condition was bad enough and that I was really ill and I wanted people to see that. Almost as if I needed people to know I was anorexic and that people knowing would make it any better. I was eventually diagnosed, and it didn't help me at all like I thought a diagnosis would. I would strongly advise that if your dr doesn't seem concerned, you shouldn't be any less so.

I would suggest you take a look at this website which has helped me so much and there is also a helpline that is useful to call. It's called b-eat :
www.b-eat.co.uk (copy and paste into search or click link if it shows up)

When you reach the point that you find a certain reassurance or raliablitity in missing food, you know that you are in real danger. You may think that just because some anororexic patients are diagnosed, they have it worse than those that aren't. Well that's not the case.

You knew that something is very wrong and I want you to know that you are so brave to seek help.

you can pm me ANY time or reply if you want help with anything else, I'll be really happy to help. Call me Hazel x
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Old August 14th, 2015, 11:48 PM   #6
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Default Re: anyone willing to give advice..?

I recently came out of my eating disorder of two years. In fact I spent a few months hospitilized in order to regain the weight I had lost due to my illness. I recovered for my friends, who were always by my side even when my family wasn't. There are many online fourms and chat rooms for anorexia or other eating disorder recoveries with tons of lovely, encouraging people. I say find encouragement from online, as well as seek out therapy. Medication can be helpful in some cases, but most doctors stay away from it if you happen to be at a very low weight. I hope this helped.
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Old August 15th, 2015, 01:41 AM   #7
ClaireM
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Default Re: anyone willing to give advice..?

Hi Rieyn,
I think you are so brave admitting you are worried about your eating. I have suffered an eating disorder so I am not qualified to give advice, but I would so encourage you to contact the help line your doctor gave you or follow Hazel's link above.
You have identified you need help and you deserve to get it.
Claire xxx
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Old August 16th, 2015, 06:05 PM   #8
littlerieyn
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Default Re: anyone willing to give advice..?

Quote:
Originally Posted by hazelteen View Post
hi, ok so earlier today I spent half an hour writing a reply to this that then got accidentally deleted so sorry if this is shorter than I had wanted it to be.

Anyway, what I said first was that I have suffered from anorexia for a year and I'm well on my way to recovery. I'm doing really good.

I wanted to tell you that it sounds like you have anorexia nervosa. In my experience, what happened was I went to the dr and he didn't seem concerened. My reaction to that was me thinking silently "right then, well if it's not that bad, surely I should starve myslef enough for people to take my condition seriously"
If I could tell myself now, " be careful what you wish for". The dr was really worried, but he didn't want to let it onto me until it got a bit worse because lots of kids go through low self esteem and their parents worry about them dieting.

I feel like maybe you are going through the same thing as I had done?

I spent 3 months in a impatient unit away from my family.

It all started with me wanting to prove that my condition was bad enough and that I was really ill and I wanted people to see that. Almost as if I needed people to know I was anorexic and that people knowing would make it any better. I was eventually diagnosed, and it didn't help me at all like I thought a diagnosis would. I would strongly advise that if your dr doesn't seem concerned, you shouldn't be any less so.

I would suggest you take a look at this website which has helped me so much and there is also a helpline that is useful to call. It's called b-eat :
www.b-eat.co.uk (copy and paste into search or click link if it shows up)

When you reach the point that you find a certain reassurance or raliablitity in missing food, you know that you are in real danger. You may think that just because some anororexic patients are diagnosed, they have it worse than those that aren't. Well that's not the case.

You knew that something is very wrong and I want you to know that you are so brave to seek help.

you can pm me ANY time or reply if you want help with anything else, I'll be really happy to help. Call me Hazel x
Im sooo sorry im just getting back to you... but hearing your story is just... it so much like mine that i really do feel like that maybe that's what's going on .... like a reverse psychology type of thing... but i've been doing pretty good recently... this week i've been more prone to eating... its mainly just ramen noodles for lunch and dinner but its better than nothing! All the MSG's can put some weight back on me..... (that a joke... idk if its funny though..) but yes i would very much love to talk to you in the future!!
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Old August 16th, 2015, 06:06 PM   #9
littlerieyn
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Default Re: anyone willing to give advice..?

Thank you Both Claire and Vain for your support also!
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Old August 18th, 2015, 03:21 AM   #10
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Default Re: anyone willing to give advice..?

Quote:
Originally Posted by littlerieyn View Post
Im sooo sorry im just getting back to you... but hearing your story is just... it so much like mine that i really do feel like that maybe that's what's going on .... like a reverse psychology type of thing... but i've been doing pretty good recently... this week i've been more prone to eating... its mainly just ramen noodles for lunch and dinner but its better than nothing! All the MSG's can put some weight back on me..... (that a joke... idk if its funny though..) but yes i would very much love to talk to you in the future!!
thats great! I'm so pleased for u!
Remember variety is key, but at this stage, eating enough is really the most important
Well done, you're doing so good!
i accepted your friend request! You can also pm me if you want
Hazel x

Stars can't shine without darkness.
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Old October 5th, 2015, 09:20 PM   #11
CupcakeLuv101
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Default Re: anyone willing to give advice..?

Quote:
Originally Posted by littlerieyn View Post
the summertime becomes a very hard time for me.. i find myself looking at all these beach bodies and all this stuff promoting losing weight quick.. FitTea, lemon-honey detox etcetc....

Now I'm not saying that i am most certainly suffering from anorexia nervosa b/c there are REAL people who struggle with it to dangerous extents but.. i find myself dedicating a week or two to not eating anything.. or having moments when i just real feel... like... so fat to people. Thing is.. I'm always told otherwise.. "oh you're so tiny!" "You weigh so little" blah blah blah... but honestly hearing those comments makes me want to lose weight even more because i feel like i don't fit that image people place me in... I mean.. I'm pretty open about my weight and stuff and it's not like im struggling with keeping it at an average place b/c if anything im a bit below average of someone my height on a normal basis if not just average...but even then i don't feel like its enough ya know..? Like.... i could/can work harder to lose that weight. And especially with the new school year coming soon and I'm moving AND transferring to a new school AGAIN (this is like the fifth time...) i just.... i don't know.....

it becomes overwhelming... and them my mom has started to notice my weight drops (i went to losing nearly 20lbs in the span of like.... 2 months from not eating enough..) and shes starting to get frustrated with me.. basically kinda force-feeding me saying how "i'm shriveling away." and i mean... that doesn't want to make me want to eat more than i already have.. it honestly makes me want to eat less and i hate that i'm feeling that way towards the situation but i am! I like started to become scared.. of myself and what i could be capable of...

So i took it in my own hands to take some online tests/surveys and talk to my doctor about it etc etc... All in which returned in having "strong tendencies to anorexia nervosa" on a 85-100% average in these tests and results.. But even from that.. i look at these results and then feel... "well why not make it official and really do some damage to my body..?" And that's scary to think bout ya know..? i don't look at it and feel like i should i concern myself in gaining that lost weight back... I look to try to find ways to maybe decrease it even more and try to decrease it faster ways--now referring back to those fat burning teas, detox's etc etc... Because in all honesty.. the thought of starving myself is scary to me but then the outcome is something i find myself craving so bad..... And I'm just... I'm reaching that point where its becoming easier and easier to say no to food..
Omggg please stop this, this is extremely unhealthy! I'm sorry but it actually kills me inside that people have such negative body images of themselves

Tbh in my opinion, I hate seeing people who are way too skinny where you can see every inch of bone in their body I prefer a healthy normal weight because the person looks a lot healthier and normal. Also, to let you know guys don't like girls who are too skinny. They say they look too fragile and prefer them to have some meat on their body. Men like curves, not bones.

Please, you really need to eat more. Your body isn't getting the nutritions it needs. I hope you get sorted out. I wish you the best of luck xo <3
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