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Old May 15th, 2015, 10:12 PM   #1
Sasha M
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Default My Girlfriend Will Not Listen

My girl has an eating disorder. She eats very minimaly and says she's full, has a relatively thin body, and "cannot eat" a fuck tone of different foods. Even god damn water without an additive flavor! I'm sure this is contributing to the fact that she is effectively always sick. She once told me that her friends are always saying that she looks so skinny. She told me she doesn't think she is. Ring ring ring, sound the alarm.
I've told her a billion times to seek help, but there's been no actions. Talk with your parents, talk to a guidance counselor, talk to a professional!
Parents are out of the question because they literally care about nothing.
I fear for her health. Her immune system is probably going to shit, what do I do?

Sasha

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Old May 16th, 2015, 08:25 AM   #2
WanderingHeart
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Default Re: My Girlfriend Will Not Listen

Okay, just first calm down a bit so you can think clearly.

If she won't talk to a counselor, you yourself have to go and do it. This has to be done as soon as possible for her safety. Will she get mad at you? Maybe she will, but right now her health and safety is top priority.

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Old May 16th, 2015, 11:36 AM   #3
Dying Ember
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Default Re: My Girlfriend Will Not Listen

Suggest that you go along with her to see someone, if that doesn't work then I think the best thing to do is tell someone yourself

~Dying Ember
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Old May 16th, 2015, 12:31 PM   #4
Babs
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Default Re: My Girlfriend Will Not Listen

Eating disorders are mental illnesses. It's not that your girlfriend is being stubborn, it's that her eating disorder makes it difficult to seek help or eat normally. While you should still encourage her to recover, what she needs most is for you to just be there for her.
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Old May 16th, 2015, 03:43 PM   #5
Microcosm
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Default Re: My Girlfriend Will Not Listen

All of the above answers are very good. To add my own piece of advice, though, one way to try and help would be to put her in situations where she should eat. For instance, ask her out on a date to a nice restaurant. This would also give you some time to talk to her about it.

I also entirely agree with all of the answers from users above me.
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Old May 18th, 2015, 12:33 AM   #6
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Default Re: My Girlfriend Will Not Listen

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rainbow Dash View Post
All of the above answers are very good. To add my own piece of advice, though, one way to try and help would be to put her in situations where she should eat. For instance, ask her out on a date to a nice restaurant. This would also give you some time to talk to her about it.

I also entirely agree with all of the answers from users above me.
Okay, I'm going to disagree with this.

Lots of people with eating disorders have extreme anxiety around food. Eating food causes destructive thoughts about your weight and body image when you have an eating disorder. Also many people are triggered by people watching them eat.

Absolutely do not corner her into eating. Not to mention the guilt that's felt when someone takes you out somewhere nice and you don't want to or can't put a bite in your mouth without feeling anxious or guilty. It ruins the entire night and it's overall just triggering. I used to go out for fancy dinners and then immediately had to starve myself for several days afterwards, no matter how little I ate because I was so overwhelmed.

People with eating disorders, short of those who need to be hospitalized in dangerous situations, almost need to be treated the same way as those with phobias through exposure therapy. Exposure therapy often starts in a safe setting like the home before continuing other places (depending on what you're treating).

Taking someone with an eating disorder out to a place that is made for eating and then talking to them about their eating disorder is like finding out someone is afraid of flying, immediately putting them on a plane, and asking them why they're afraid.

I know it seems like it would be a good idea but as someone who has recovered from anorexia: it's not.

I'm not saying you should discourage her from eating or anything of the sort, just don't potentially force her into a severely uncomfortable situation. If she comes over, offer snacks. If you go out, offer to buy a small lunch or something. Keep offering but don't trap someone in a situation they are afraid of. Odds are, it'll actually make it much worse.
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