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Old July 1st, 2014, 05:47 PM   #1
Join Date: July 30, 2011
Location: U.K
Gender: Male
Default Looking for a classification or something


I have actually been meaning to type this out for a while now.

Ever since I can remember, I have had a bad attitude towards food. Its had its peak and troughs over my life but I seem to be getting slowly better.

So anyway, I have an over active gag reflex and its set off by lots of things. It happens when I put something in my mouth (obviously a problem), I like mushing my food up to compress it so that my mouth doesn't have to open wide. But its also largely psychological, the more excited I am about something the more exposed I am to this problem. Recently, I seem to work myself up where if I know I have to eat soon (if I feel hungry or if its a set meal time) I start gagging and feeling sick.

As well as mushing my food up, I have found that a distraction (watching TV) helps a lot and drinking while eating helps me to swallow it down.

I find it easier to eat if I am really hungry, problem is, I suddenly get hungry and then feel incredibly weak and tired if I dont eat within a short amount of time. Preparing food is hard for me as I start to gag and have to fight the feeling constantly. This gets better the more hungry I am (but as explained above, the window is very small)

Whenever people ask me if I like X food, its more of a "this food isn't as bad as this food". The only food I would really go out of my way to say I liked is bacon or breaded chicken that is soggy or well oiled. This really offends people who cook for me because they take it personally, although my parents have put up with this for years.

I live in the UK so its unavailable atm, but I was very interested in the idea of Soylent since it's a food substitute that is liquid based. But my parents say I have to fight this problem instead of running away to Soylent.

I do fight very hard to eat, and that's why I don't like the whole situation of eating. I feel worn out and tired after, whereas its a natural thing for everyone else.

I guess I just want some kind of diagnosis as to what this might be or to meet others with similar problems.

Thanks for reading

The companion cube is stuffed with dead test subjects D:
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Old July 1st, 2014, 06:18 PM   #2
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Name: ^*~James~*^
Join Date: August 16, 2013
Location: *UK.~ SCOT.~
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Default Re: Looking for a classification or something

That must be difficult but I guess fixable somehow.

I do see your past threads.


Originally Posted by Wheatley View Post

Okay I've had a looong history with food. I've always found eating hard, well, rather I go through patches.
However, recently after taking a liking to a few boys a my school, I have been really trying hard to get risd of my acne. I've tried creams, different methods of washing and changing my diet.
Recently though I have found that my diet makes huge changes to my face, I'm not a lover of fruit but I try to eat it because it helps a lot. However, I get tired of eating the same thing over and over again, so I've resorted to not eating much at all. As no food should equal no change in acne that would add grease. Now I've gotton used to this, if people make me eat my favourite fatty or greasy foods, I really don't enjoy the taste, and afterwards I just feel horrible for eating it.

This is why I'm not eating much, I can't change this. Is there a name for this? I'm not exactly anarexic because I don't believe I'm fat, but I do worry about the way I look

Originally Posted by Wheatley View Post

Well, the title pretty much sums it up. I have always been this way for as long as I can remember. I have always been funny about eating in public. It takes me ages to get used to eating in a certain environment. But my main problem now is eating around my best friend /friends. I'm not a very social person but have recently had a friend sleep over twice in the holidays but I cant eat around him. Its not that I dont feel hungry (coz I do) its just I feel that I might choke and gag on whats in my mouth (I have an over active gag reflex and generally hate anything to do with putting things inside a mouth).

I woke up the other morning at 5:30am, having just 2 hours sleep, shaking due to starvation. I felt really hungry, but couldnt eat (even just knowing he was in the house was enough to set me off). And my parents got really angry at me because I wasted a lot of my dinner. I really hate this but its really hard to get over as ive had this ever since I was really little. I think it has something to do with attention (and me being extremely shy), I can eat while he is eating but as soon as he finishes (which he does fast) I feel like he is waiting for me and then I start feeling like a cant accept food even though my stomach is making the most god awful rumbling sounds. Its obviously a very deep psychological problem and I am really struggling to get over it.

Any Ideas what would help?

PS. I am starting sixth form in a few weeks and I just know that will set me off again
Originally Posted by Wheatley View Post

I have seen a few threads here asking if people think they are Schizophrenic, and this is one of them. Firstly I will start off by saying that I have read the FAQs on this sub forum and I do believe I exhibit some of 'the symptoms above'. (Oh and I have also read some of the other FAQs on the other subforums as well). I will 'quote' from the FAQ:

1. Social Withdrawal - By this I mean I am an extremely shy person (I scored 4.46 on this test )

2. Depersonalization - I always plan out every social situation and every possible outcome (then tend to worry myself about the bad possibilities and forget about the good or OK ones - I have memory issues-)

3. Loss of appetite - This is a HUGE one, I have never been a big eater (BMI of 15.6) but I need next to nothing at school, in social places or even when a one friend comes over. I just dont feel hungry, my stomach might rumble before the social gathering but during it I just feel numb

6. Hallucinations - Well, I feel like ghosts (yeah, ghosts) exist around me. I get scents of my late nan around my room sometimes and I hear creaks and cracks (could just be pipes, I also believe in the paranormal)

7. Controlled by outside forces - Slightly confused by this, I am superstitious and believe that fate controls most things. I have also believed for the past month or so that 'someone' drops small change on the floor almost creating a path for me at school and outside the house (usually I find 1 or 2p coins, on the last day I found a 20p right after the final bell went, almost as if to tell me I have reached my destination)

9. Voices - I have always heard voices for as long as I can remember (which admittedly isnt long, the start of high school anyway, so for a good 4/5 years now). When I was younger I told my parents about them (at the time I only heard my name spoken everywhere in different voices) but they have evolved and now 'talk' to me (almost like a normal human to human convosation). My Councillor told me it was how I recognized my own thoughts

11. Vivid or Bizarre thoughts or Ideas - Well, my brain is always thinking about anything (and is usually multitasking during class, a lot of my new year resolutions in primary school was to stop getting distracted, that never happened haha). I think about everything there possibly is to think about (not much detail i know but its hard to sum up)

12. Mood swings - Are almost impossible to blame on Schizophrenia (do we have a shortened down name?), due to teenage hormones, my medicine for acne (Isotretinoin) having been on the treatment for just over 2 months now, having braces and GCSE exams. Yes, I get mood swings, but I hide them pretty well (I'll explain below)

13. Odd behaviour - Well I'm very paranoid (with such little positive hands on experience of the world, I only learn from the mass media [and yeah i do sociology]. I have had a hard life at high school (hence the paranoia and mental 'brick wall' ). Other than this I tend to have a destructive side to me, I get bored sometimes and spice things up by embarrassing myself or ruining my social life, then regret it the next day.

14. Behaving like a child - I dont see myself as much older than a child (only 16) but i always consider myself to act grown up and like an adult (because I have no one to act silly around) but I have been trying to change this, I have been trying to get myself friends and act like my age (an immature curious teenager) but it doesnt feel right and a whole year of trying hasnt got me far. ( theres a saying that says that it is important to have the mind of a child but also an adult [thats very loose]

15. Fear and Anxiety - As said above, I think of every possible outcome in a social situation and then worry myself about the bad ones forgetting the good ones. I try to read people and guess what they are going to say before they say it, there is obviously a reeason why so many people reject me and why I get the feeling that I am a burden on people.

17. Friends - This may sound harsh. I tend to hang around the less academic pupils of the school. This is because my intellect level feels equal to them in social situation, I do get As and Bs but my intelligence vanishes when I am around people and I come across as dumb. I feel inferior talking to people in the same class as me because I come across as dumb (I get this impression, they dont say this, but I stutter and they correct me on obvious things). This isnt affected texting or speaking online. I dont tend to keep friends because I get irritated sometimes and just want to be alone (of course, I have learnt you cannot just get up and leave in a social situation)


I have noticed this more recently and its getting worse. I tend to laugh at any situation (whether it be funny, depressing, serious business or just a normal conversation. It tends to be more around adults than people my own age, but it really annoys the people I talk to, and I cant explain it either which is really annoying. They get annoyed and stop talking to me. I dont even know what I find funny, I just laugh and cant hold it back.
I also tend to laugh in awkward social situations or just when its completely inappropriate.

I sometimes fail to show emotion naturally. I have hate (lots of it) and Love, thats about it. Most of the rest I have to force, I know how I should react to a certain situation and try to force the emotion using my face to bluff it. Call it lack of sympathy or empathy, its only sometimes though. At times these emotions can be really strong, but at others they are non existant or in rare supply. Its hard to explain, ask me questions if this is important

I feel like I have many different people living inside me, its more than just voices now, they have evolved into personalities (multiple personality disorder I guess). It feels like there is one host body (my physical body) and each personality gets a say in what the host body does and how he feels (this brings on mood swings). It can be helpful because I provide support for myself based on what I know (sounds stupid but this avoids my bias), so if something has got me down I can usually get myself back on my feet without anyone else having to know whats wrong or them saying the wrong thing (i can lie to myself and believe it) but it still gets lonely sometimes, lonely from one special person in my life.

My school life has been crap. Year 8 I told my best friend I fancied him (oh yeah, im gay) and he (with all of our friends) ditched me and made fun of me for 3 years) (oh and this is one of those self destruct things I mentioned above). Year 10 I hacked the school because I felt lonely and had nothing better to do (I had plans to hack and suicide before I got caught, obviously I never did but i got caught). Getting caught led to me coming out to my parents (I had saved it because my nan had recently died and I didnt want them to feel worse) but turns out I did the wrong thing and ended up seeing 2 Councillors. So really all through high school I have been building up my defenses and becoming paranoid when high school is meant to be the time to gain confidence and make friends to support you in further education and such.

I am quite into psychology and the idea of reading peoples faces and actions, like on Lie to Me. I always try to analyse situations and analyse the meaning of life and the ideal values, stuff like that. Though it oftens depresses me, I hate things not having a meaning. I am OK with things having multiple answers, but I dont like it when there is no answer. The meaning of life really annoys me because there is no reason, how can we work towards something thats meaningless? What is the bigger picture of humans? That sort of stuff, usually when I am not busy thinking about that special person or the task at hand, I am thinking about this. Oh and I would love to learn more about psychology (I chose it as an A level)

I cant think of anything else. I'm sorry for making this so big but the more information I give, the more accurate picture you can get of me. Do I have Schizophrenia and/or something else?


You do say asking your parents about help will be impossible due to thier past answers or lack off.

But you can ask for help or see a doctor without your parents knowing just a thought but maybe some other ways are available.

It is difficult to eat if you feel anxious so maybe that something - I know its just a slight problem but I have one friend at school he has problems with a stammer if he is anxious then he cannot take a drink - water milk juice whatever. He got help with CBT I think.

You mention a counselor? in 9 above - do you still have help there.

Last edited by JamesSuperBoy; July 1st, 2014 at 06:26 PM. Reason: spelling and add
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Old July 6th, 2014, 03:29 PM   #3
Join Date: July 30, 2011
Location: U.K
Gender: Male
Default Re: Looking for a classification or something

Wow, dya know I forgot all about those past posts D: I thought this was the first time about my food issue (as far as I remembered my phone always died or spassed out or otherwise stopped me from posting). Anyway, I gotta say I appreciate you looking through my history here

I am not in contact with that councillor anymore, she was there more for my hacking incident with the school, at the time I just wanted it over with.

My parents know about everything I do, they get upset and moody if they believe I'm keeping something from them. They won't accept the possibility that I might have an issue that needs working on (and, I'm the furthest thing from perfect!) but then if they find out I've seeked out help on my own they'll get depressed and angry that I couldn't talk to them about it (conflicting I know).

I go (hopefully) to uni in a few months. I hope to turn that into a big change (bigger than moving out and being in dependant already is). I'll be able to seek out proper help and maybe even get it semi funded by the uni itself.

CBT does sound like the way forward though, Hull seem to be all over student wellbeing so hopefully I can find everything I need there.

The companion cube is stuffed with dead test subjects D:
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