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Old June 16th, 2014, 01:57 AM   #21
Karkat
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Default Re: Wow, I just, I can't do it anymore.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Prelate View Post
Okay, okay.

You can't be serious about having nothing to live for. Not even something small and insignificant like feeling the warm sun everyday?

Wouldn't you miss that?

You just have to dig deep and trudge through until the metaphorical storm passes.
I hardly ever go outside. I mean, I do love that feeling, but it's hard to hang on to the little things when everything is going wrong.


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Old June 16th, 2014, 12:38 PM   #22
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Default Re: Wow, I just, I can't do it anymore.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WisenUpJanetWeiss View Post
I just feel out of control of my life. It's like life keeps holding me down and kicking me in the face, and the only thing I can do is take it. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Honestly? Most of my friends and family don't care that much about me anymore, and the ones that do I'd rather stop hurting. I know that it's cowardly, I know that it's selfish, but honestly, the only place I have in life at the moment is to not devastate a few people by not dying, to do a measly amount of housework to keep my parents appeased, to go through the motions of being a significant other.

I'm not even living for myself anymore. There's nothing for me in life to live for.
No there is something for you in life and that is the future.
How could you know what the future has in stock for you? right now as i see it you are like a train without brakes fuelled by negativity. You are going more and more down.
Even though its just a phase don't wait for it to pass, MAKE it pass.
Ask yourself why you actually feel depressed and if you can help/rectify it. If you can leave no stones upturned in doing that and if its out of your control accept it as that and leave it because you cant do anything about it any ways. Heck if nothing helps just laugh at this uber-passionate person called Aditya who is determined to make a dick of himself or probably establish himself as a psychiatrist.



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Last edited by Hudor; June 16th, 2014 at 12:41 PM. Reason: Grammar Nazi that I am....
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Old June 16th, 2014, 12:42 PM   #23
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Default Re: Wow, I just, I can't do it anymore.

Hey.
You'll get through this.
We can all eventualy.
This is not you thinking, it's a part of you, out of your controll.

shout at the world because the world doesn't love you

lower yourself because you know that you have to.
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Old June 16th, 2014, 01:09 PM   #24
Karkat
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Default Re: Wow, I just, I can't do it anymore.

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Originally Posted by Placid Pan View Post
No there is something for you in life and that is the future.
How could you know what the future has in stock for you? right now as i see it you are like a train without brakes fuelled by negativity. You are going more and more down.
Even though its just a phase don't wait for it to pass, MAKE it pass.
Ask yourself why you actually feel depressed and if you can help/rectify it. If you can leave no stones upturned in doing that and if its out of your control accept it as that and leave it because you cant do anything about it any ways. Heck if nothing helps just laugh at this uber-passionate person called Aditya who is determined to make a dick of himself or probably establish himself as a psychiatrist.
I'm bipolar. Even on medication, I still experience extreme highs and lows. :/ My friends, my boyfriend, they can hardly stand me anymore, my physical health is awful- as much as I'd love to just jump up and go apply for jobs, or who knows, my circumstances don't allow me. Plus, it's summer. I'm just perpetually stuck en la casa.

I can't do school, I can't focus on work, I can't try to get my learner's permit, it's all way too hard for me right now. Even simple chores terrify me, but my mom won't ease up, which makes it even worse.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cheesee View Post
Hey.
You'll get through this.
We can all eventualy.
This is not you thinking, it's a part of you, out of your controll.
I hope so.


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Old June 16th, 2014, 01:28 PM   #25
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Default Re: Wow, I just, I can't do it anymore.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WisenUpJanetWeiss View Post
I'm bipolar. Even on medication, I still experience extreme highs and lows. :/ My friends, my boyfriend, they can hardly stand me anymore, my physical health is awful- as much as I'd love to just jump up and go apply for jobs, or who knows, my circumstances don't allow me. Plus, it's summer. I'm just perpetually stuck en la casa.
Listen I know saying things is not as easy as implementing them and i know half of what we say out here sounds impractical to you, after all you're the best judge for your situation but you simply have to stop the negativity, there is no other way round for it. And i think it is largely your own mindset that is the problem (sorry if that sounds harsh but i think it's true).

As dedicated as your bf and best friend seem to be i don't think they can be having a problem standing you.

Just take a chill pill and relax.



Kudos to The Riddler(Siobhan) for creating the awesome signature!

Last edited by Hudor; June 16th, 2014 at 01:32 PM.
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Old June 16th, 2014, 01:35 PM   #26
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Default Re: Wow, I just, I can't do it anymore.

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Originally Posted by Placid Pan View Post
Listen I know saying things is not as easy as implementing them and i know half of what we say out here sounds impractical to you, after all you're the best judge for your situation but you simply have to stop the negativity, there is no other way round for it. And i think it is largely your own mindset that is the problem (sorry if that sounds harsh but i think it's true).

As dedicated as your bf and best friend seem to be i don't think they can be having a problem standing you.

Just take a chill pill and relax.
I don't think you understand how impossible that is for me. I've tried repeatedly to be positive this year, and it's only resulted in a more devastating blow every time I get knocked down. What's the point of feeling positive when there's hardly a thing in your life to feel positive about?

I'm to the point where I literally can't see my life getting any better. I literally see no future for myself. It's just a bunch of haze.


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Old June 16th, 2014, 01:45 PM   #27
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Default Re: Wow, I just, I can't do it anymore.

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Originally Posted by WisenUpJanetWeiss View Post
I don't think you understand how impossible that is for me. I've tried repeatedly to be positive this year, and it's only resulted in a more devastating blow every time I get knocked down. What's the point of feeling positive when there's hardly a thing in your life to feel positive about?

I'm to the point where I literally can't see my life getting any better. I literally see no future for myself. It's just a bunch of haze.
frankly I don't but I trust you. Just relax, sort of hang around low-key, if positivity seems unattainable at least don't let negativity wrap itself around you by idk stowing away your feelings for a while and leaving judgement for later? Life can be bad i k but its got to improve some day and i'm sure you'll have a wonderful future you'll just have to wait. i know i sound too idealistic and cliché saying that but that is the truth



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Old June 16th, 2014, 01:53 PM   #28
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Default Re: Wow, I just, I can't do it anymore.

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Originally Posted by Placid Pan View Post
frankly I don't but I trust you. Just relax, sort of hang around low-key, if positivity seems unattainable at least don't let negativity wrap itself around you by idk stowing away your feelings for a while and leaving judgement for later? Life can be bad i k but its got to improve some day and i'm sure you'll have a wonderful future you'll just have to wait. i know i sound too idealistic and cliché saying that but that is the truth
I just don't know how to let it NOT get to me. I don't see any possible way I'll have a future- I doubt I'll graduate high school. College is a totally unattainable dream. I probably won't end up staying with my boyfriend too much longer, and if we're done? I'm done. I'm not going to put myself out there again, I'm simply going to have to deal with being alone. I won't have kids, I won't get married if we can't make it work. My health is shit, so I may never be able to work a job again. I've relapsed back into alcoholism, self-harm, smoking, I've been abusing every substance I can get my hands on, and if I was offered hard drugs, you'd bet I'd take them. My bipolar is getting worse. The fact that I can't even manage to kill myself even sits here in front of me, mocking me! I can't even manage to tie a ligature tight enough to kill myself.

What does that leave me, even?


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Old June 16th, 2014, 04:21 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WisenUpJanetWeiss View Post
I just feel out of control of my life. It's like life keeps holding me down and kicking me in the face, and the only thing I can do is take it. I just don't know what to do anymore.
I know this is extremely cheesy, but your comment here reminded me of a wonderful quote from Arnold Schwarzenegger:
"It's not about how many times you can hit. It's about how many times you can get hit, and keep moving forward."

Your life is going to beat you down until you're numb but it makes you tough as nails in the end.
Appreciate every opportunity you get to change your life or to do something amazing.
You can do this. You can make it through this and when you get a bit older and you have fought through all this. Maybe you could get
your own job and apartment. I believe you can do this. Don't let yourself go just yet.
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Old June 16th, 2014, 04:22 PM   #30
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Default Re: Wow, I just, I can't do it anymore.

Yea when my dad makes me very ANGERY I just feel like going to the kitchen and get a knife the stab him but I can't because I don't want to

Hello everybody. I am a 13 year old. Also have a good day
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Old June 16th, 2014, 04:40 PM   #31
Karkat
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Default Re: Wow, I just, I can't do it anymore.

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Originally Posted by Rainbow Dash View Post
I know this is extremely cheesy, but your comment here reminded me of a wonderful quote from Arnold Schwarzenegger:
"It's not about how many times you can hit. It's about how many times you can get hit, and keep moving forward."

Your life is going to beat you down until you're numb but it makes you tough as nails in the end.
Appreciate every opportunity you get to change your life or to do something amazing.
You can do this. You can make it through this and when you get a bit older and you have fought through all this. Maybe you could get
your own job and apartment. I believe you can do this. Don't let yourself go just yet.
I held my own job for a year, but my physical and mental illnesses made it impossible to do anything for longer than that- frankly, I'm surprised I made it a year.

Ahh I don't want to be strong though. I'll take being relatively happy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheAwesomeCoder View Post
Yea when my dad makes me very ANGERY I just feel like going to the kitchen and get a knife the stab him but I can't because I don't want to
...You should probably keep those emotions in check.


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Old June 16th, 2014, 05:22 PM   #32
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Default Re: Wow, I just, I can't do it anymore.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WisenUpJanetWeiss View Post
I held my own job for a year, but my physical and mental illnesses made it impossible to do anything for longer than that- frankly, I'm surprised I made it a year.

Ahh I don't want to be strong though. I'll take being relatively happy.



...You should probably keep those emotions in check.
Yea._.

Hello everybody. I am a 13 year old. Also have a good day
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Old June 17th, 2014, 05:06 AM   #33
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Lightbulb Re: Wow, I just, I can't do it anymore.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WisenUpJanetWeiss View Post
I just don't know how to let it NOT get to me. I don't see any possible way I'll have a future- I doubt I'll graduate high school. College is a totally unattainable dream. I probably won't end up staying with my boyfriend too much longer, and if we're done? I'm done. I'm not going to put myself out there again, I'm simply going to have to deal with being alone. I won't have kids, I won't get married if we can't make it work. My health is shit, so I may never be able to work a job again. I've relapsed back into alcoholism, self-harm, smoking, I've been abusing every substance I can get my hands on, and if I was offered hard drugs, you'd bet I'd take them. My bipolar is getting worse. The fact that I can't even manage to kill myself even sits here in front of me, mocking me! I can't even manage to tie a ligature tight enough to kill myself.

What does that leave me, even?
Just don't do anything 'too' rash okay? Killing yourself won't solve the problem and deep down you know that too. i know you only through VT and you've made some awesome contributions here. it's like strewn gold nuggets around the site. the reason your bf and other people care for you is you not your problems. Life is not all about school, college, job etc. You can't get happiness at a specific destination it lies in the pit-stops along the way as you mentioned and what i personally refer to as milestones. You have to remain yourself and let life take care of itself because worrying about it wouldn't help anyways. Just focus on the pit stops for now and you'll be happier.



Kudos to The Riddler(Siobhan) for creating the awesome signature!

Last edited by Hudor; June 17th, 2014 at 02:14 PM. Reason: Additions
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Old June 17th, 2014, 02:12 PM   #34
Karkat
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Default Re: Wow, I just, I can't do it anymore.

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Originally Posted by Placid Pan View Post
Just don't do anything 'too' rash okay? Killing yourself won't solve the problem and deep down you know that too. This is too short ik but I'll be back with some thing better soon.
I hardly think I'd manage to successfully kill myself even if I tried.


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Old June 22nd, 2014, 02:01 PM   #35
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Default Re: Wow, I just, I can't do it anymore.

you can live for jentzen,he still loves you
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Old June 22nd, 2014, 02:07 PM   #36
Karkat
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Default Re: Wow, I just, I can't do it anymore.

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you can live for jentzen,he still loves you
Yes, he does. I'm in a lot better of a place than when I wrote this, don't worry too much.


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