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Old June 9th, 2014, 01:10 PM   #1
Fiction
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Name: Kathy
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Default I don't know how to help her.

Okay so I have this friend.. well she's more of a sister. We lived next door to each other most of our childhood.

I'm 100% certain she has an eating disorder. She eats when she's around me, but always the lowest calorie option. She's extremely underweight and she goes to the bathroom after every meal. She walks for hours everyday. She hasn't had a period in 2 years because she is so small.

Yet no one who can help her can see it. Her parents deny she has an eating disorder even when people politely suggest that she might. She's managed to convince her fucking doctor she's fine.

I know better than most that she has one. I can see the little things she does like I used to do. Like any excuse to go for a walk for a little longer.

Basically to cut a long story short, she is damaging herself and her body and has been for a while.

I have tried to talk to her more than once, and she totally denies that there is anything wrong; using her "doctor" as evidence. But she isn't gaining any weight. She's loosing it. Talking isn't an option- she won't open up to me at all.

Anyone any idea how I can help? Before it's too late.

You brought hate, pills and knives,
And this is how the tale begins.
Its your life, exist and wonder why.
When it only fails to work,
It only fails to work sometimes
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Old June 9th, 2014, 06:30 PM   #2
Ben_Frost
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Default Re: I don't know how to help her.

Test her with a mirror, tell her to look at herself and tell you how she thinks she looks like. You could make her sit down and really talk with her about this, tell her how you feel worried about her and how she's destroying herself. Ask her why is she refusing to put on weight, make her feel she's not alone and that you're concerned about her well being.



I should have known it was all a lie...

To another reality.
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Old June 9th, 2014, 07:02 PM   #3
Fiction
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Default Re: I don't know how to help her.

But she claims she isn't trying not to put on weight, just that she's finding it difficult. The mirror test could be hard too- I never spend time with her just the two of us anymore. Our families are always there too.

You brought hate, pills and knives,
And this is how the tale begins.
Its your life, exist and wonder why.
When it only fails to work,
It only fails to work sometimes
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Old June 9th, 2014, 07:15 PM   #4
Ben_Frost
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Default Re: I don't know how to help her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiction View Post
But she claims she isn't trying not to put on weight, just that she's finding it difficult. The mirror test could be hard too- I never spend time with her just the two of us anymore. Our families are always there too.
She's finding it difficult? Well then you could remind her about it when you two go out to eat, since she always looks for the lowest calorie option you could tell her that won't help. There are so many healthy foods that have more calories and that'll help her gain weight in a healthy way. Or I don't know, try to tell her about this when you get a few minutes alone with her, or online or some way.



I should have known it was all a lie...

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Old June 10th, 2014, 06:43 AM   #5
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Default Re: I don't know how to help her.

I guess the only thing you can do is be there for her in case something happens. You can always try to tell her about your own eating disorder, but try to make it seem casual.


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Old June 10th, 2014, 08:39 AM   #6
BuryYourFlame
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Default Re: I don't know how to help her.

Try getting her to see a different doctor. Do you think her current doctor is aware she is missing periods? That's a pretty certain sign that something is wrong.
Other than that you can only really help as much as she wants to be helped. You can't force someone to see a completely different reality overnight, which sounds pretty harsh and terrible but it's true. With a lot of general love and care in the friendship things might be able to slowly change but essentially you're just waiting it out until she starts seeing herself differently or until her body forces her to the stage where she has to change how she lives.

Declan
6 years on and I'm still here for some reason.
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Old June 11th, 2014, 08:20 PM   #7
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Default Re: I don't know how to help her.

We know for a fact that those skinniest girls are the girls that gain the most and become obese when they hit mid 20s, when they go to college, get into a relationship, get married, hv kids....etc. (I knw quite a few of them from my elders sisters class) This is cos years of poor diet has made their bodies/metabolism incapable of handling these weight gain triggers/extra calories and stores them as fat....thats their body getting ready for another period of "starvation"...Highlight this fact to her and get her to eat an healthy meal.
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