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Old March 28th, 2008, 08:34 PM   #1
-Silence
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Name: Heather, Duh.
Join Date: March 29, 2004
Location: The Sunshine State.
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Default Coming Back

I feel like I'm slipping back into Self Harm. I haven't done it but damn do I want to.
The urge hasn't gone away and it's been about two weeks that I've had this last urge. It's getting to the point where I dream about it again, all I keep thinking about it how good that razor will feel digging into my arm. How it'll fix everything and I'll start to feel okay again.

I'm craving it, I want to cut and I want to cut alot, I want to cut till my entire arm is covered, then go to bed and wake up and do it again. I miss it like crazy.

I work with a box cutter, as a stock person I'm opening boxes all day, today I missed the box and accidentally got my thumb, it felt amazing.

As much shame as the scars bring I want them. I want more.

Maybe I just want to feel alright, I'm not sure, I'm not sure what to do, how to keep pushing it away when lately it's all I think about.



“Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help.”
-Calvin & Hobbes.
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Old March 28th, 2008, 11:33 PM   #2
japanman
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Name: Jacob
Join Date: January 24, 2008
Location: U.S.
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Default Re: Coming Back

This is remarkab;e jut such good writing i wish you the best of luck


"I ain't such a saint that I can promise to risk my life for strangers. Neither am I scum enough to sit quietly by while people are getting hurt before my eyes." Ichigo
"I'm depressed...might as well make a snow angel."
THE DOG - Mathew
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Old March 29th, 2008, 07:17 AM   #3
steven
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Default Re: Coming Back

try your best to keep SH off your mind, if you ever think about it, start to do something that takes alot of concentration, or go out with a few people and play a sport or just go for a jog, just do anything that will help you please, SH is one of the worst things that a friend could do, it hurts like hell when you know your best friend does it. or even your girlfriend...

Steve

if anyone needs anyone to talk to, dont be afraid to ask, i might not be good at anything but i can listen to other people, so dont be afraid to talk to me
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScotsGirl
P.S. I hope you have talked and sorted out protection. If you haven't, then unless you want a small, constantly crying and completely dependent being...or maybe an unbelievably itchy and painful rash with some lovely oozing....then don't have sex.
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Old March 29th, 2008, 01:01 PM   #4
-Silence
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Name: Heather, Duh.
Join Date: March 29, 2004
Location: The Sunshine State.
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 111
Default Re: Coming Back

Quote:
Originally Posted by steven View Post
try your best to keep SH off your mind, if you ever think about it, start to do something that takes alot of concentration, or go out with a few people and play a sport or just go for a jog, just do anything that will help you please, SH is one of the worst things that a friend could do, it hurts like hell when you know your best friend does it. or even your girlfriend...

Steve
I've been doing that. It just keeps coming back.



“Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help.”
-Calvin & Hobbes.
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Old April 20th, 2008, 09:33 PM   #5
-Silence
...La De Dah!
 
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Name: Heather, Duh.
Join Date: March 29, 2004
Location: The Sunshine State.
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 111
Default Re: Coming Back

Fuck it, I'm tired of this bullshit.
I'm tired of fighting and it just slapping me back in the face.



“Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help.”
-Calvin & Hobbes.
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