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Old March 3rd, 2008, 12:25 AM   #81
theOperaGhost
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Default Re: every day...

No you won't be relaxed.
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Old March 3rd, 2008, 12:26 AM   #82
electric7rocker
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i will if i cut. ill feel so much better..... i always do...

...but she was blind to this...

~i am rowan hear me roar
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Old March 3rd, 2008, 12:26 AM   #83
Atonement
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Default Re: every day...

I know you do, but it is only temporary and is straight up BAD for you!

All you need is love.
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Old March 3rd, 2008, 12:29 AM   #84
electric7rocker
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i need it. you say i dont but i do. i can almost feel it...

...but she was blind to this...

~i am rowan hear me roar
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Old March 3rd, 2008, 12:29 AM   #85
theOperaGhost
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Default Re: every day...

That relaxed feeling won't last forever. It'll satisfy you for a while then you'll want to cut again.
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Old March 3rd, 2008, 12:31 AM   #86
electric7rocker
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Default Re: every day...

then ill cut again. and be relaxed again.


i know what itll get me into again. and i dont care. i want it so bad.

...but she was blind to this...

~i am rowan hear me roar
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Old March 3rd, 2008, 12:33 AM   #87
theOperaGhost
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Default Re: every day...

I know you don't want to do it. You keep talking to us. And cutting again is really bad for you.
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Old March 3rd, 2008, 12:35 AM   #88
electric7rocker
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i know i do want to. i do but i dont. 100 days is my goal and im almost there. but after that i dont care what happens. i just have to make it 6 more days.

...but she was blind to this...

~i am rowan hear me roar
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Old March 3rd, 2008, 12:38 AM   #89
theOperaGhost
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Set a new goal after that. Keep setting new goals when you achieve you old ones. Try to make it those 6 days.
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Old March 3rd, 2008, 12:39 AM   #90
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but i dont care after the 6 days. i tol my friend about it... and now she knows. so i cant give up earlier. ill just "stop keeping track" at 100....
ill end up giving in anyways... i might as well not drag out the torture....

...but she was blind to this...

~i am rowan hear me roar
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Old March 3rd, 2008, 12:42 AM   #91
theOperaGhost
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You don't have to give in. After a little more time you won't want to cut anymore, it just takes time. If you cut now, you'll have to start over again at stopping.
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Old March 3rd, 2008, 01:07 AM   #92
electric7rocker
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or i could just not stop....

...but she was blind to this...

~i am rowan hear me roar
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Old March 3rd, 2008, 01:09 AM   #93
theOperaGhost
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Why would you want to do that. you obviously wanted to stop before.
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Old March 3rd, 2008, 01:17 AM   #94
electric7rocker
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rawr.... i feel a little better now... i was talking to my friend on aim... i do want to stop.. just not all the time..... if that makes sense. i didnt cut tonight.. im not going to.... its so hard.

...but she was blind to this...

~i am rowan hear me roar
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Old March 3rd, 2008, 01:20 AM   #95
theOperaGhost
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I'm glad you changed your mind.

Last edited by theOperaGhost; March 3rd, 2008 at 09:29 PM.
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Old March 3rd, 2008, 02:43 PM   #96
joeshmoe101
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Default Re: every day...

Dude-
I know exactly what you are going through. Trust me, I know this is not easy, but I've got some advice for you.
You might feel ashamed to tell your therapist, but she is a professional who deals with this type of stuff all the time.
From experience I know that it's normal to feel weak and vulnerable, but you should do whatever it takes to stay alive. If you need someone to talk to, call 1-800-SUICIDE. You can AIM me if you want also.
Stay safe.
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Old March 4th, 2008, 12:52 AM   #97
electric7rocker
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i feel like i deserve even less than pain. that even tho pain and blood is what i want... i deserve less. i deserve nothing... just death. and nothingness.

...but she was blind to this...

~i am rowan hear me roar
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Old March 4th, 2008, 05:27 PM   #98
ariana
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rowan..... im sitting next to you. youre sexy feel better ;D
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