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Old December 26th, 2012, 12:13 PM   #1
infinite.
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Default 'I don't know'

I don't know what i hope to gain from this , maybe recognistion , i don't know. My life isn't bad in comparison to that of others, i've been through alll the normal things a teenager will experience, breakups, arguments but this isnt what makes me feel the way i do on a bad day. As you might tell from my username i relate my life a lot to the story of 'the perks of being a wallflower' at first I was jelous of the main charaters life. i put tis down to be becaus he grew up in America through the 90's which i believe would be brillliant however i realised that it wasn't that at all, its that although 'Charlie's' life may seem awful, he know who he is. im not counting on anyone to know what im talking about because im not sure that i get it either. i just dont know who i am anymore i have built such a strong mask to pretend that im okay that i often fool myself. I sometimes feel so annoyed for not being honest with myself that i feel sick at the sight of my name
I know how pathetic I sound and I feel terrible for feeling like his when there are people dieing who just get on with life but i'm losing confidence that it will get better
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Old December 26th, 2012, 12:22 PM   #2
infinite.
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Default Re: 'I don't know'

I don't expect anyone to reply as I wrote this in a way which doesn't invite a response but it help to get it out so thankyou to those who take their time to read it
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Old December 26th, 2012, 02:00 PM   #3
Pierce
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Default Re: 'I don't know'

Quote:
Originally Posted by infinite. View Post
I don't know what i hope to gain from this , maybe recognistion , i don't know. My life isn't bad in comparison to that of others, i've been through alll the normal things a teenager will experience, breakups, arguments but this isnt what makes me feel the way i do on a bad day. As you might tell from my username i relate my life a lot to the story of 'the perks of being a wallflower' at first I was jelous of the main charaters life. i put tis down to be becaus he grew up in America through the 90's which i believe would be brillliant however i realised that it wasn't that at all, its that although 'Charlie's' life may seem awful, he know who he is. im not counting on anyone to know what im talking about because im not sure that i get it either. i just dont know who i am anymore i have built such a strong mask to pretend that im okay that i often fool myself. I sometimes feel so annoyed for not being honest with myself that i feel sick at the sight of my name
I know how pathetic I sound and I feel terrible for feeling like his when there are people dieing who just get on with life but i'm losing confidence that it will get better
I just had to say that you and I are very similar. I went through a very long and rough time in my life with depression. I put a mask on to hide my pain and often act the way I was supposed to not the way I wanted to. In result of that I forgot who I was and I'm just starting to find myself now. I also read "Perks" and I ALSO was jealous of the characters. No matter how many problems they had they had each other and always prevailed. Like I said you and I are very similar but I think I might be a step further than you. I'm starting to find myself now and I wish the best for you. Keep in contact with me. If you ever wanna talk or need help message me. I know how it feels to go through what your going through and I can help.
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Old December 26th, 2012, 06:15 PM   #4
infinite.
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Default Re: 'I don't know'

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Originally Posted by Pierce View Post
I just had to say that you and I are very similar. I went through a very long and rough time in my life with depression. I put a mask on to hide my pain and often act the way I was supposed to not the way I wanted to. In result of that I forgot who I was and I'm just starting to find myself now. I also read "Perks" and I ALSO was jealous of the characters. No matter how many problems they had they had each other and always prevailed. Like I said you and I are very similar but I think I might be a step further than you. I'm starting to find myself now and I wish the best for you. Keep in contact with me. If you ever wanna talk or need help message me. I know how it feels to go through what your going through and I can help.
thankyou, its good to know there is someone that understands. I'm glad you're getting better and finding yourself, its nice to know that things can get better. thanks again, it really does mean a lot.
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