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Old June 30th, 2012, 06:18 PM   #1
Wheatley
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Default Problem?

Hello,

I have seen a few threads here asking if people think they are Schizophrenic, and this is one of them. Firstly I will start off by saying that I have read the FAQs on this sub forum and I do believe I exhibit some of 'the symptoms above'. (Oh and I have also read some of the other FAQs on the other subforums as well). I will 'quote' from the FAQ:

1. Social Withdrawal - By this I mean I am an extremely shy person (I scored 4.46 on this test http://www.shyness.com/qa2.html )

2. Depersonalization - I always plan out every social situation and every possible outcome (then tend to worry myself about the bad possibilities and forget about the good or OK ones - I have memory issues-)

3. Loss of appetite - This is a HUGE one, I have never been a big eater (BMI of 15.6) but I need next to nothing at school, in social places or even when a one friend comes over. I just dont feel hungry, my stomach might rumble before the social gathering but during it I just feel numb

6. Hallucinations - Well, I feel like ghosts (yeah, ghosts) exist around me. I get scents of my late nan around my room sometimes and I hear creaks and cracks (could just be pipes, I also believe in the paranormal)

7. Controlled by outside forces - Slightly confused by this, I am superstitious and believe that fate controls most things. I have also believed for the past month or so that 'someone' drops small change on the floor almost creating a path for me at school and outside the house (usually I find 1 or 2p coins, on the last day I found a 20p right after the final bell went, almost as if to tell me I have reached my destination)

9. Voices - I have always heard voices for as long as I can remember (which admittedly isnt long, the start of high school anyway, so for a good 4/5 years now). When I was younger I told my parents about them (at the time I only heard my name spoken everywhere in different voices) but they have evolved and now 'talk' to me (almost like a normal human to human convosation). My Councillor told me it was how I recognized my own thoughts

11. Vivid or Bizarre thoughts or Ideas - Well, my brain is always thinking about anything (and is usually multitasking during class, a lot of my new year resolutions in primary school was to stop getting distracted, that never happened haha). I think about everything there possibly is to think about (not much detail i know but its hard to sum up)

12. Mood swings - Are almost impossible to blame on Schizophrenia (do we have a shortened down name?), due to teenage hormones, my medicine for acne (Isotretinoin) having been on the treatment for just over 2 months now, having braces and GCSE exams. Yes, I get mood swings, but I hide them pretty well (I'll explain below)

13. Odd behaviour - Well I'm very paranoid (with such little positive hands on experience of the world, I only learn from the mass media [and yeah i do sociology]. I have had a hard life at high school (hence the paranoia and mental 'brick wall' ). Other than this I tend to have a destructive side to me, I get bored sometimes and spice things up by embarrassing myself or ruining my social life, then regret it the next day.

14. Behaving like a child - I dont see myself as much older than a child (only 16) but i always consider myself to act grown up and like an adult (because I have no one to act silly around) but I have been trying to change this, I have been trying to get myself friends and act like my age (an immature curious teenager) but it doesnt feel right and a whole year of trying hasnt got me far. ( theres a saying that says that it is important to have the mind of a child but also an adult [thats very loose]

15. Fear and Anxiety - As said above, I think of every possible outcome in a social situation and then worry myself about the bad ones forgetting the good ones. I try to read people and guess what they are going to say before they say it, there is obviously a reeason why so many people reject me and why I get the feeling that I am a burden on people.

17. Friends - This may sound harsh. I tend to hang around the less academic pupils of the school. This is because my intellect level feels equal to them in social situation, I do get As and Bs but my intelligence vanishes when I am around people and I come across as dumb. I feel inferior talking to people in the same class as me because I come across as dumb (I get this impression, they dont say this, but I stutter and they correct me on obvious things). This isnt affected texting or speaking online. I dont tend to keep friends because I get irritated sometimes and just want to be alone (of course, I have learnt you cannot just get up and leave in a social situation)

----Extras----

I have noticed this more recently and its getting worse. I tend to laugh at any situation (whether it be funny, depressing, serious business or just a normal conversation. It tends to be more around adults than people my own age, but it really annoys the people I talk to, and I cant explain it either which is really annoying. They get annoyed and stop talking to me. I dont even know what I find funny, I just laugh and cant hold it back.
I also tend to laugh in awkward social situations or just when its completely inappropriate.

I sometimes fail to show emotion naturally. I have hate (lots of it) and Love, thats about it. Most of the rest I have to force, I know how I should react to a certain situation and try to force the emotion using my face to bluff it. Call it lack of sympathy or empathy, its only sometimes though. At times these emotions can be really strong, but at others they are non existant or in rare supply. Its hard to explain, ask me questions if this is important

I feel like I have many different people living inside me, its more than just voices now, they have evolved into personalities (multiple personality disorder I guess). It feels like there is one host body (my physical body) and each personality gets a say in what the host body does and how he feels (this brings on mood swings). It can be helpful because I provide support for myself based on what I know (sounds stupid but this avoids my bias), so if something has got me down I can usually get myself back on my feet without anyone else having to know whats wrong or them saying the wrong thing (i can lie to myself and believe it) but it still gets lonely sometimes, lonely from one special person in my life.

My school life has been crap. Year 8 I told my best friend I fancied him (oh yeah, im gay) and he (with all of our friends) ditched me and made fun of me for 3 years) (oh and this is one of those self destruct things I mentioned above). Year 10 I hacked the school because I felt lonely and had nothing better to do (I had plans to hack and suicide before I got caught, obviously I never did but i got caught). Getting caught led to me coming out to my parents (I had saved it because my nan had recently died and I didnt want them to feel worse) but turns out I did the wrong thing and ended up seeing 2 Councillors. So really all through high school I have been building up my defenses and becoming paranoid when high school is meant to be the time to gain confidence and make friends to support you in further education and such.

I am quite into psychology and the idea of reading peoples faces and actions, like on Lie to Me. I always try to analyse situations and analyse the meaning of life and the ideal values, stuff like that. Though it oftens depresses me, I hate things not having a meaning. I am OK with things having multiple answers, but I dont like it when there is no answer. The meaning of life really annoys me because there is no reason, how can we work towards something thats meaningless? What is the bigger picture of humans? That sort of stuff, usually when I am not busy thinking about that special person or the task at hand, I am thinking about this. Oh and I would love to learn more about psychology (I chose it as an A level)

I cant think of anything else. I'm sorry for making this so big but the more information I give, the more accurate picture you can get of me. Do I have Schizophrenia and/or something else?

Thanks,

The companion cube is stuffed with dead test subjects D:

Last edited by Wheatley; June 30th, 2012 at 06:39 PM.
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Old June 30th, 2012, 06:51 PM   #2
Thunderstorm
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I'm guessing Schizophrenia may be one thing, but I'm not someone you should be taking an official diagnosis from. those all sound like symptoms of many different things. You could have OCD, ADD, ADHD, and etc. There's a lot of things to think about. Please seek a Psychologist for more. Sorry I couldn't be much of help. Look at these places for more info:
http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/sh...ad.php?t=13538
http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/sh...ad.php?t=13544
http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/sh...ad.php?t=50222
http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/sh...ad.php?t=91394
It's a lot, but these may help you get a beginning thought of what you may have. Good Luck.


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Old July 1st, 2012, 01:44 PM   #3
redknight
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Default Re: Problem?

i think ur one of use, but I'm not a doctor so ya, its not that bad, i like the way i think, f other people i don't care for them anyway. but what r u going to do now, don't live your live u cant do something bcuz u might b a shcizo/ u are... i need to do the same thing but that what make me human i guess, do u believe in other world like i do too or do u think u move wind like me, or no?..... if u can tell im schizo, i think might be one too, like i said it not that bad

im shizo & str8 that all im putting here i think or im i? Part from my book coming out never eggeggeggeggeggeggeggeggegg maybe?
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Old July 2nd, 2012, 10:11 PM   #4
StrawberryCyanide
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Default Re: Problem?

Well you're clearly very intelligent and have a vast knowledge of your own feelings and thoughts. But you're definitely over-analysing yourself in an attempt to diagnose yourself, I was terrible for this too, and while it's good that you are aware of all this it can be detrimental to you regarding paranoia ect. As Trail.Blazer mentioned, your symptoms could be from various things. I think you should seek professional advice and diagnosis, only a professional can diagnose you accurately. I hope this helped, good luck!

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Old July 8th, 2012, 01:51 AM   #5
NZLD
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I agree with strawberry, in the way you are over analysing yourself in order to try and diagnose yourself, this is exactly what i do aswell so you dont need to worry in that department, it does sound like you are having trouble mentally though and i do recommend you seek a psychologist. If not schizophrenia then possibly bipolar as these moods of finding everything "humerus" could be a an example of a high mood. Anyway good luck, and im sure you will get there, i know this sounds funny but i movie i felt i could relate to was "Its kind of a funny story" You should check it out
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Old July 9th, 2012, 05:20 AM   #6
Wheatley
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Default Re: Problem?

Cool thanks for all of your feedback. I will check out that film. I guess I would like to label myself because it gives me personal standards, you could say to use it as an excuse for being different to everyone else. I have the urge to be very honest with people and I want to know everything about them (and I like to tell them everything about me). You could say this is because I have connection problems with other people.

I also feel that I have communication problems with my parents. They are great parents and they have been disappointed at me in the past for not letting them more into my life but it feels awkward on my behalf to talk to them. And to see a psychologist, I would have to talk to them about it, and I know their immediate answer would be "You are fine, just shy".. Is there any kind of internet service that I can use to talk to a proper psychologist without them knowing?

The companion cube is stuffed with dead test subjects D:
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