Virtual Teen Forums
 

Go Back   Virtual Teen Forums > >
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read Chat Room

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old January 24th, 2012, 06:23 AM   #1
jacdean
Member+
 
jacdean's Forum Picture
 
Name: Justin
Join Date: September 19, 2010
Location: Miami
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Exclamation

Ok, so here's the story. For the past 7 months, I have been dating a girl who lives in Zweibrucken, Germany. Almost all her life, she has dealt with nothing but abuse from her family. Her father has raped her on numerous occasions and almost gotten her pregnant, her mother has refused to do anything about it even though she knows everything that's been going on and she has even lied to her saying that she'll do something but never does, her brother is unable to do anything, and the rest of her family are just jerks. Her main family, excluding her brother, has been to court about exactly this. Her mother however, coached her into lying about what her father did. Even though she had told the court one trial day prior that all of it was true. Another trial will be held in the near future. She has told me countless times that she wants to leave as soon as possible, even if it means killing herself. She has tried to do this about 5 times. Each time, I was able to snap her out of it and stop her. She also cut herself. I have gotten her to completely drop both of these things. As of late, she actually hasn't been eating. Or rather, she has barely been eating. She is starving but she dowsn't want to eat from what she tells me. Every time she looked at food today, she felt as though she was going to throw up. Also, she tells me that she has been, "emotionally distant" lately. She tells me that no matter what I say, she doesn't feel the sense of love she normally does. This has both of us concerned. She has also been telling me as of late (and whenever I say late, I mean today) that she feels like she can't take being so far away from the guy she loves and that she's had more than enough of her abuse. Pertaining to the being so far away part, she is starting to feel like that solution is breaking up even though she knows it will hurt the both of us tremendously and that it could possibly lead her to suicide based on her current situation. Her heart knows that she doesn't want this to happen, but her mind is telling her otherwise. The both of us are 15 by the way. So now that you know most of this story, I'm begging all of you. I'm begging anyone who even looks at this post. Help me solve all of these problems. I know how far away from here I am, (Miramar, Florida to Zweibrucken, Germany) but there has to be something, anything that I can do. I want to get her to Florida, away from her family. Hopefully with me. Just like she wanted. I need responses as fast as possible. Thank you all for your time and if there is anything else that you wish to know about this, just ask me in your post. Please help us...

Please.... I need help.

[merged, please don't double post ~georgiamay.]

Last edited by georgiamay; January 25th, 2012 at 10:28 AM.
jacdean is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 24th, 2012, 08:48 PM   #2
StoppingTime
Retired Administrator
 
StoppingTime's Forum Picture
 
Name: Steven
Join Date: July 12, 2011
Location: In Time
Age: 19
Gender: Cisgender Male
Default Re: Abuse and Relocation.... (Extremely Important: NEED HELP NOW!)

Honestly, I think getting her here is a bit out of the question now. What you need to do is get in touch with the German authorities, as soon as possible! Seriously, if you know this is happening, they will help.

Mikey was here



Elysium was here
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vlerchan
WILL HOUSING CRISIS CAUSED BY COMMIE HOMOSEXUALIST-ABORTIONIST MARXIST IMMIGRANTS AND WELFARE CHEATS FROM RACIST ANTI-BRITISH EU CAUSE TB RATE FROM VACCINES TO RISE?!
StoppingTime is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 24th, 2012, 09:40 PM   #3
trooneh
Banned
 
Join Date: December 26, 2007
Gender: Undisclosed
Default Re: Abuse and Relocation.... (Extremely Important: NEED HELP NOW!)

Okay, a few things.

First, not to sound callous, but are you able to be certain that her story is true? Have you met her in person before, or at least verified her identity? I've known people who have been through similar positions to what you are in now and have been fooled by a person they trusted. I don't want that happening in your situation.

Second, if this is in fact happening, like Steve said, contact the authorities. If you are able to speak German, that would help, but if not, then the contact info is available here for the Zweibrucken police. Contact them and report what is happening. If you do not wish to contact them, contact your local police in Miami and report it. They will contact the proper authorities.

You're doing the right thing trying to help someone you care about, and please try to be safe yourself throughout all of this.

Sean.
trooneh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 24th, 2012, 09:59 PM   #4
jacdean
Member+
 
jacdean's Forum Picture
 
Name: Justin
Join Date: September 19, 2010
Location: Miami
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Default Re: Abuse and Relocation.... (Extremely Important: NEED HELP NOW!)

I have verified her Identity and she is telling the truth. She has contacted the police and spoken with them. A few times. She told them the truth, but to no availe.
jacdean is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 24th, 2012, 10:00 PM   #5
trooneh
Banned
 
Join Date: December 26, 2007
Gender: Undisclosed
Default Re: Abuse and Relocation.... (Extremely Important: NEED HELP NOW!)

The most you can do currently is report her current feelings of perhaps being suicidal and present what evidence you have of her abuse, in order to help prosecute her father.
trooneh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 24th, 2012, 10:02 PM   #6
jacdean
Member+
 
jacdean's Forum Picture
 
Name: Justin
Join Date: September 19, 2010
Location: Miami
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Default Re: Abuse and Relocation.... (Extremely Important: NEED HELP NOW!)

I see. I understand. What about relocating her?
jacdean is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 24th, 2012, 10:30 PM   #7
StoppingTime
Retired Administrator
 
StoppingTime's Forum Picture
 
Name: Steven
Join Date: July 12, 2011
Location: In Time
Age: 19
Gender: Cisgender Male
Default Re: Abuse and Relocation.... (Extremely Important: NEED HELP NOW!)

Honestly, you can't do that alone. The authorities have to be notified of what's happening first, and they take care of it from there.

Mikey was here



Elysium was here
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vlerchan
WILL HOUSING CRISIS CAUSED BY COMMIE HOMOSEXUALIST-ABORTIONIST MARXIST IMMIGRANTS AND WELFARE CHEATS FROM RACIST ANTI-BRITISH EU CAUSE TB RATE FROM VACCINES TO RISE?!

Last edited by StoppingTime; January 24th, 2012 at 10:36 PM.
StoppingTime is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 25th, 2012, 03:34 AM   #8
Amaryllis
Awesome Poster
 
Amaryllis's Forum Picture
 
Name: Z
Join Date: June 27, 2011
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 12
Default Re: Abuse and Relocation.... (Extremely Important: NEED HELP NOW!)

I can relate to your girlfriend. Eating disorders, self-harm and depression often stem from childhood abuse. The thing is, sweetheart, you can't really do anything but be there for her - and even then, it can affect you, too. You have to make sure you can cope with problems of this magnitude.

I know it's hard when shit just seems to be thrown at you all the time but she has the choice to do something about it. Either she learns to cope or she goes to the authorities. Is she seeing a mental health professional? Perhaps she should buy some books on coping with sexual abuse or join some support sites like these:

After Silence has lots of really kind people who'll understand what she's going through.
There's DailyStrength
SomethingFishy is something I highly recommend if she's struggling with eating. It really helped me when I was at my worst.
Havoca has tons of great tips for coping - it's for people who aren't still going through it, though. But it's still helping me.

There are tons of others and if she speaks english, I'm more than willing to talk to her. My mother walked in on my father once, as well. She didn't do anything. I think it has a lot to do with denial - they just don't want to admit that they're with a monster and it's... Shameful. Unfortunately, some people do blame the people who've been abused.

Times have changed and with more awareness - the authorities can definitely do something about it and help your friend. She just needs to stand her ground and be brave. It's easier said than done but it is possible.

She has someone like you to care for her and that's great, I wouldn't be the same as I am now without tons of help from others.

You can't pick her up and move her to another country in a snap, unfortunately. But there are things you -can- do from a distance. But in the end, she choose which path to take.

We can't solve all your problems, even though we really do wish we could. Your problems are your own and hers are hers. You can help her, just as we are trying to help you but this isn't ours or even your battle to fight(in regards to her.) She needs to be willing to change, to speak up and to thrive.

Have courage to change the things you can and the wisdom to know the difference. Have faith in her.



"Never test the depth of water with both feet." - Some dude whose name I cannot remember
Amaryllis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old January 25th, 2012, 06:53 AM   #9
jacdean
Member+
 
jacdean's Forum Picture
 
Name: Justin
Join Date: September 19, 2010
Location: Miami
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Default Re: Abuse and Relocation.... (Extremely Important: NEED HELP NOW!)

Thank you. Thank you so much for whay you just said. I've actually been helping her cope with this for more than the 7 months we've been together. (good news! We're staying together!) I've been doing everything in my power to help her. Sadly though, the authorities didn't do much to help. They know about this, seeing as how they've been in court twice, soon to be three times. It hurts me, knowing that the girl I love is so far away from me (although I got used to it at this point. It doesn't hurt anymore) and the fact that she's had to deal with sk much over the course of her life. Is there any way that she would be able to come here? I mean, it doesn't have to be a really quick thing. I just want her to be here.
jacdean is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:11 AM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright©2000 - 2017
Search Engine Optimisation provided by DragonByte SEO (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copyright 2004 - 2017, VirtualTeen.org