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Old January 18th, 2012, 12:38 PM   #1
mondes
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Name: mondo
Join Date: January 7, 2012
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Default my past

everytime i try to think of my past i can't remember anything. Everytime i try to think of something when i was 8 and back, i cant remember anything, it just all black. this is what i remember (the good part) it was my 8th birthday party and me my twin sister had a cake fight.

i know about abuse is bcuz i been around it all mylife. my mom use to get beat up by my dad all the time. i remember crying like a baby thinking they were fighting over me & my brothers and sister, and i use to think all the time, what did i do wrong. thinking about it know still make me sad today.

i use to move around a lot when i was a kid, i didn't know it at the time but this y, my mom was sleeping a round with other guy so she can do drugs, and my father didnt want to pay bill to people he own money too. this happened as far as i can remember to up to 12 years old

i remember living with my grandma (when i was 12) & how it feed to call a place home.i was living in NY state (not going to say the hometown bcuz i dont know who am i, anyway)

Then all that change when i was 13 going b 14 in 3 months. my father come to take me and my little brother, little wolf (that his really name & he 10) with him to taxes, so we did bcuz we didn't know any better at the time bcuz hes r dad.

my father at the time was a cap then that change when he got hit by a truck and then 3 weeks later he got hit by a car watch missup his legs. At the time he was taking a lot of drugs he can't remember who we were. when my twin sister or little wolf didn't something wrong, i got my a**-kick by him, use to cough up blood and onces he broke my right arm then when they did something really bad, i was use to get trazzer from him. yes it did hurt a lot when he was really piss, he did it was i was a sleep and i wet the bed bcuz of that. the pain did hurt yes but i feeling sad bcuz he didnt remember doing any of it, he act like he did nothing to me

it was 2 day b4 both of r birthday and we went camping with my friends to have fun. 2 day after (watch am now 14 at the time) my father try killing himself on r birthday...that made me feel like shit, y will try killing ur self on both of r b-day (crying right now) but i had to look strong for them bcuz am the older brother unlike them they were both crying.My friend father called 911 and told them what happen & what he seen. So r father goes to jail 4 trying to kill himself. we go to boys town and in forther( can't spell it) care for 5 month in all.

We lived with r grandma now for 3 monthes then she die by heart-akt and she was 73 at the time.

Then we move in with r uncle (with louie who 1 year older then me) thinking it was going to b good but i was wrong.. with my uncle all he keep talking was if there something wrong u can talk to me, so i did and everything that happen to me and how was i feeling. then the next day my little tell me he was talking shit about me '' y is mondo acting like a bi*, he need to stop acting like kid & become a man'' i was piss when he told me that but i didnt show it.

am 19 as of right now... me and my uncle had a fight over my mom. my little brother joe want me to vist are mom (cuz we have the same mother but different farther's) joe is one year young then (little wolf who 16 now) so joe is 15 right now... he tell me what wrong with mom, hes say mom been coughing up blood every 3 day and she lose wight from it. i talk to the docters and they say she 1 to 2 years to life.

That the first time i knew i had 5 other little brother's and sister's not with joe. So i move in with my mom to her out and little bro's and sister's

That y me and my uncle had a fight, he want me to pick him or my mom, sorry to say he didnt win cuz i pick my mom. Then he try to fight me hand to hand & i feit bad (bcuz i know how of my fight bcuz of my father / his brother) bcuz i pick them over him. So he hits me in the face & i keep on saying to him and not going to fight u bcuz u take care of me ( i was piss that he hit me but still) so he says to me, ' u need to grow up and stop acting like a kid and fight me like a man.' Then he hits me again i ( i think was acting like a man,
1. i didn't turn to drugs like my brother litt wolf did
2. i have not try to kill myself like father or twin sister did ( she in the hospital right now).
so ya i think been acting like adult. I stared to cry not sure y, so after him hit 2 time then he call me crybaby & keep on about how acting like kid, so i was sad, mad, and piss all once.. so i broke his wrist then he yall at me say wtf am do to him.. i was still at the crying. then litt.wolf called cops on me, the cops talk to my litt wolf he told when happen, then my uncle his story try to make like monster (not sure what they said), then they come up to me and ask what happen, i told them what happen when i was cry,( feit like a baby talking, to them like that) then ask me if want to do anything my uncle and i no maybe take him to the docter's.
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Old January 18th, 2012, 12:43 PM   #2
mondes
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Default Re: my past

this happen about 5 weeks ago. this all happen to me as kid, it feels really to let it all out. sorry if i miss spell anything cuz i have dyslexia. sorry for dobble post did have room to write it all
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Old January 18th, 2012, 04:21 PM   #3
DarkNick
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Default Re: my past

My friend.......
you're really having a hard time really....I can't say that it's nothing or it will get better... (I wish I could).
Make patience 'til you can start a new life away from all that shit, stay strong as much as you can, don't feel sorry about yourself (NOT EVEN ONCE!) 'cause you've been through all this or 'cause an uncle or whatever calls you a ''crybaby''
If you want you can ask-tell me anything.I would be more than happy to talk with you!
Stay strong,
Nick

Maybe I'm a bit crazy but at least I'm different than those nonsense, stupid people, you know, the normal ones?

But on the other hand I'm just a normal,stupid human...

Strange isn't it? How is it possible to be different and at the same time so same with the others...?
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Old January 18th, 2012, 11:24 PM   #4
mondes
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Name: mondo
Join Date: January 7, 2012
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Age: 25
Gender: Male
Default Re: my past

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nickiller View Post
My friend.......
you're really having a hard time really....I can't say that it's nothing or it will get better... (I wish I could).
Make patience 'til you can start a new life away from all that shit, stay strong as much as you can, don't feel sorry about yourself (NOT EVEN ONCE!) 'cause you've been through all this or 'cause an uncle or whatever calls you a ''crybaby''
If you want you can ask-tell me anything.I would be more than happy to talk with you!
Stay strong,
Nick
thanks man, i just had to get this off my chest, feels really good. one of my teacher in high school said i should make a book. He was think i was making this up, in the end i think of him as my dad bcuz he care for me. he new i wasn't lying unlike most people that made me feel really happen. then he told me '' mondo u faces a lot of shit in ur life, am not going to lie but this is what u strong bcuz u face this when u were little and not when u were an adult bcuz most of them will broken down if this happen to them. so didn't give up'.
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Old January 19th, 2012, 06:49 AM   #5
DarkNick
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Name: Nick
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Default Re: my past

Quote:
Originally Posted by mondes View Post
thanks man, i just had to get this off my chest, feels really good. one of my teacher in high school said i should make a book. He was think i was making this up, in the end i think of him as my dad bcuz he care for me. he new i wasn't lying unlike most people that made me feel really happen. then he told me '' mondo u faces a lot of shit in ur life, am not going to lie but this is what u strong bcuz u face this when u were little and not when u were an adult bcuz most of them will broken down if this happen to them. so didn't give up'.
Yeap what he said was true!
The book idea may be also good.

Maybe I'm a bit crazy but at least I'm different than those nonsense, stupid people, you know, the normal ones?

But on the other hand I'm just a normal,stupid human...

Strange isn't it? How is it possible to be different and at the same time so same with the others...?
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