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Old September 2nd, 2011, 11:03 PM   #41
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I don't get it. You have everything I'll never have. That should be a comfort in itself. At least you aren't fat, at least you have a boyfriend. You're way better than me in every way.
Just because she has everything someone else wants, doesn't make her issues any less. She sees things differently. What may seem amazing to you can be a burden to someone else. Really it doesn't help to compare. While you think it may be a comfort, it may just be empty words.

Sorry to step in if I'm not really wanted 'cause I'm sort of late in the discussion but from what I've read, it just doesn't seem like comparing will do much.

To the OP, I think you're beautiful the way you are but I know it takes more than others' words to see that beauty. Just remind yourself everyday that you're beautiful. You don't have to believe it now. In time, repeating it may cause it to sink in and you'll believe it in time.
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Old September 2nd, 2011, 11:13 PM   #42
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She has a boyfriend. I think that counts for something, doesn't it? What about people like me, who've never dated and never will?
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Old September 2nd, 2011, 11:16 PM   #43
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She has a boyfriend. I think that counts for something, doesn't it? What about people like me, who've never dated and never will?
A) This thread isn't about you.

B) Everything is in the eye of the beholder. Having a boyfriend to some people, isn't the greatest thing in the world. It's a lot of work, it's stressful, it can be heartbreaking. I swore off dating for awhile because of the toll it took from me. The world isn't about dating. Sure, there's other people in this world. But you are yourself and you have to live with yourself. It's not for the approval of others, it's for your own approval that you do anything.

Sure, it may count for something for you but not everyone else.
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Old September 3rd, 2011, 12:21 AM   #44
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I didn't say it was about me. I was reminding her how lucky she is. That's all.
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Old September 3rd, 2011, 08:26 AM   #45
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Please stop degrading yourself. You don't deserve to do that to yourself.
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Old September 3rd, 2011, 09:39 AM   #46
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This thread isn't about me, it's about you.
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Old September 3rd, 2011, 10:54 AM   #47
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To the OP, I think you're beautiful the way you are but I know it takes more than others' words to see that beauty. Just remind yourself everyday that you're beautiful. You don't have to believe it now. In time, repeating it may cause it to sink in and you'll believe it in time.
Thank you. (: I'm trying to make myself believe it. It's just hard.
Quote:
Everything is in the eye of the beholder. Having a boyfriend to some people, isn't the greatest thing in the world. It's a lot of work, it's stressful, it can be heartbreaking. I swore off dating for awhile because of the toll it took from me. The world isn't about dating. Sure, there's other people in this world. But you are yourself and you have to live with yourself. It's not for the approval of others, it's for your own approval that you do anything.
This is exactly what I've been trying to say, but haven't been able to figure out how. I don't like dating. I don't want to be dating. I know it sounds stupid, but it's true. I only date my boyfriend because I actually love him, and I feel very unfortunate to have fallen in love with him, because I loved being single, and if I could deal with separating myself from him, I'd break up in a heartbeat...Sorry about that small rant.
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Old September 3rd, 2011, 12:26 PM   #48
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Wow. Just wow. I can't believe I'm reading this right now. And I don't mean to be rude by any means, but...I just don't know what to say. You have so much. You have a boyfriend! Do you know how badly I want one? How badly I want someone to care for me or at least think I'm more than just a ugly pile of shit? Yet you would break up with your boyfriend in a heartbeat. It just makes absolutely no sense to me. If I were you I would never do that. I'd consider myself lucky beyond any doubt. But maybe that's what happens when you have nothing. Everything seems more important even though you can never have it.
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Old September 3rd, 2011, 12:37 PM   #49
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Amanda, glad I could word that for you. I know how you feel so you're not alone in that. That's what it was like with my ex and for some reason I still dated him three times. Honestly, I think the most reason I dated him was pressure to date someone 'cause everyone would ask me if I had a boyfriend and he happened to be someone I liked a lot but it wasn't really something I was all that into. It was just too much at the time along with everything else.

Also, as for believing things, the mindset you are in now was obviously caused by something. Likely, that something caused you to think something negative about yourself for so long that you began to believe it. Try saying that you're beautiful once a day. Why shouldn't the same idea have the opposite effect as well? If you say you hate yourself long enough to believe it, can't you believe you love yourself after awhile of doing the same thing? Make sense? Thing is, negative emotions are a lot easier to come across, a lot easier to channel. To do the opposite, you have to make a conscious effort. It's hard, it takes a long time but it's a simple step towards getting better if you really want to.



Dee, again, it is in the eye of the beholder. Just because you think that dating is the most important thing in the world, doesn't make that so. Everyone has their own mindset, their own life and their own priorities. You were born into this world as ONE person. You live your life as ONE person. You have to focus on you, not on making your life all about someone else. You want to date someone? You had better come to terms with yourself first because you're stuck in your own body. You can spend your whole life wanting to be someone else but guess what? That's not going to happen. Ever. Try living for yourself rather than living for some guy.

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Old September 3rd, 2011, 12:58 PM   #50
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Dee, again, it is in the eye of the beholder. Just because you think that dating is the most important thing in the world, doesn't make that so. Everyone has their own mindset, their own life and their own priorities. You were born into this world as ONE person. You live your life as ONE person. You have to focus on you, not on making your life all about someone else. You want to date someone? You had better come to terms with yourself first because you're stuck in your own body. You can spend your whole life wanting to be someone else but guess what? That's not going to happen. Ever. Try living for yourself rather than living for some guy.
put perfectly, tried telling Dee this before. Please listen!
Having a boyfriend isn't the most important thing in the world. And to truly love someone else you need to try and love yourself first.
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