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Old November 9th, 2017, 10:33 AM   #1
EssentialAspiration
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Join Date: December 14, 2014
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Default Better off dead

Everyday I come closer and closer to the conclusion that the world would be a better place without me. My life is going nowhere and I have no idea how to get myself together. It seems like giving up is on the cards. I've been at university for around a month and I barely show up and barely try, I do not know why and I do not know how to fix myself. I am gaining weight and am doing nothing to change it. I really feel like I am at a dead end. I'm beginning to feel that some people are just destined to fall and are better off dead and that I am one of these people. I am not successful and never will be because for some reason I am incredibly self-destructive. Everyday I think of whether or not I should continue. My reasons for prolonging all of this are becoming fewer. I don't think I will kill myself. I don't think I ever will. But if I had to give a reason as to why I choose to live I would struggle to explain it.
The relationships I form typically do quite well, despite the nature of this post I am generally a fairly upbeat person. However I know that in the long run my self-destructive attitude will affect these relationships and the people I care about. As you begin to delve into a person the way these people have with me, you learn their fears and insecurities and short comings. And in strong relationships with tangible value you seek to help in some manner or to be a piece of the puzzle so to speak. I have incredibly wonderful people in my life who wish me nothing but happiness and they would love to help improve my life. But this simply isn't possible. I am beyond help.

I feel broken. I feel the qualities others have that they utilize to make something of their lives are just not found in myself. I am nobody. I will never be anybody. And I am most probably better off dead.

I apologise for the melancholy nature of this post and the fact that it bares no real purpose other than to wallow further into self-pity. I've no idea why I post here, what I expect to gain or what responses I look for. But I guess it helps to vent. I could never talk to anybody about this in my life, I love them all too much to worry them with my insignificant self-inflicted failures. You people who read these posts are the only people I ever interact with in this manner. And I am thankful to those of you who choose to reply whether it be with advice or sympathy and understanding. You are good people.
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Old November 9th, 2017, 11:38 AM   #2
Lost in the Echo
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Join Date: June 12, 2012
Location: Ohio
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Default Re: Better off dead

What it sounds like to me is youre just getting overwhelmed with everything. What helps me personally is to just take life one thing at a time, and focus on just that.
You cant juggle all these thoughts all at once. Nobody can. As cliche as it, just take it one day at a time, buddy.
Idk you, but you seem to be an intelligent person whos just in a rut right now. I think thats just bringing you down further.
I think you could accomplish more than you give yourself credit for if you just slow everything down and not try to do it all at once.
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Old December 10th, 2017, 11:21 PM   #3
OldNewGuy
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Join Date: November 26, 2017
Location: USA
Age: 15
Gender: Male
Default Re: Better off dead

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lost in the Echo View Post
What it sounds like to me is youre just getting overwhelmed with everything. What helps me personally is to just take life one thing at a time, and focus on just that.
You cant juggle all these thoughts all at once. Nobody can. As cliche as it, just take it one day at a time, buddy.
Idk you, but you seem to be an intelligent person whos just in a rut right now. I think thats just bringing you down further.
I think you could accomplish more than you give yourself credit for if you just slow everything down and not try to do it all at once.
I agree

PM me any time if you wanna chat!

When I try to be funny, im not funny. When I dont try to be funny, im still not funny -A not so funny person
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Old December 3rd, 2017, 09:46 PM   #4
Fritz
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Name: Sven
Join Date: November 30, 2017
Location: US
Age: 13
Gender: Male
Default Re: Better off dead

Quote:
Originally Posted by EssentialAspiration View Post
Everyday I come closer and closer to the conclusion that the world would be a better place without me. My life is going nowhere and I have no idea how to get myself together. It seems like giving up is on the cards. I've been at university for around a month and I barely show up and barely try, I do not know why and I do not know how to fix myself. I am gaining weight and am doing nothing to change it. I really feel like I am at a dead end. I'm beginning to feel that some people are just destined to fall and are better off dead and that I am one of these people. I am not successful and never will be because for some reason I am incredibly self-destructive. Everyday I think of whether or not I should continue. My reasons for prolonging all of this are becoming fewer. I don't think I will kill myself. I don't think I ever will. But if I had to give a reason as to why I choose to live I would struggle to explain it.
The relationships I form typically do quite well, despite the nature of this post I am generally a fairly upbeat person. However I know that in the long run my self-destructive attitude will affect these relationships and the people I care about. As you begin to delve into a person the way these people have with me, you learn their fears and insecurities and short comings. And in strong relationships with tangible value you seek to help in some manner or to be a piece of the puzzle so to speak. I have incredibly wonderful people in my life who wish me nothing but happiness and they would love to help improve my life. But this simply isn't possible. I am beyond help.

I feel broken. I feel the qualities others have that they utilize to make something of their lives are just not found in myself. I am nobody. I will never be anybody. And I am most probably better off dead.

I apologise for the melancholy nature of this post and the fact that it bares no real purpose other than to wallow further into self-pity. I've no idea why I post here, what I expect to gain or what responses I look for. But I guess it helps to vent. I could never talk to anybody about this in my life, I love them all too much to worry them with my insignificant self-inflicted failures. You people who read these posts are the only people I ever interact with in this manner. And I am thankful to those of you who choose to reply whether it be with advice or sympathy and understanding. You are good people.

This may be a relatively old post, and for that, i would like to personally apologise for not being here in time to talk to you. but i must say that no one is beyond help, no one is better off dead. because i must say that you are quite the contrary, you really are worth more alive than dead. people like you are, like in your own name, essential for the possibility of good things to grow and thrive in a dying world. you say you feel broken, that you are nobody, but that isnt true. You are already somebody, a living person who has the power to build a legacy.

you just need to be guided, no human is without worth, you just need to know how to use it. if you are still on VT, lets chat, maybe i can show you the way

Just a person who loves to play and watch sports.

Ravioli Ravioli Give Me the Formuoli
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Old December 3rd, 2017, 10:05 PM   #5
Juliarules832
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Name: Julia
Join Date: November 29, 2017
Location: Massachusetts
Gender: Female
Default Re: Better off dead

Do not do anything you will regret. There are people who care about you and love you. Message me anytime you feel desperate or you want to just talk.
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Old January 17th, 2018, 11:36 AM   #6
abc91
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Gender: Male
Default Re: Better off dead

suicide is never the answer. its a permanent fix to a temporary problem. there is help out there for me i workout and that helps immensely.
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Old March 2nd, 2018, 08:32 PM   #7
OleanaKuhlin
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Name: Oleana
Join Date: February 25, 2018
Location: Brighton
Age: 26
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Default Re: Better off dead

DON'T GIVE A FLYING F.... IF THE WORLD IS BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU! You shouldn't even think that way. You don't live to serve "the world" or other people. You live for YOUR own sake. One has to live on his own terms for his own sake. Otherwise you are a slave to "the world" - whatever that is. And if others would be better off without you? Do you really care about them that much that you would sacrifice yourself for their sake? Do you adore them so truly madly and deeply? And I bet they don't go around wishing you were dead (that they would be better off without you). In that case - either you are in a mortal feud or they are psychopaths. Would you kill yourself for your mortal enemies or a bunch of psychopaths?

But I get that you are depressed. And I think you need someone to talk to. Maybe medication.

My intuition is that you are not really fully aware of what You want. I'm right ain't I? Therapy could be a help in that case you know. Otherwise you could email me at: [email protected]. I have been in your situiation but I do have (excuse me) a bit more perspective than you. I've quit academic careers because I broke down. I might get a happy ending because I'm clever enough to find my way but anyway...

I've seen depression in others and helped them, and I've felt depression inside me and I've helped myself. You wouldn't believe me if I told you about my experience in these things and I won't tell. Okay I'll tell you one thing -- I've physically stopped three suicides. And I can help you too

But give me a private message and describe what really hurts the most or send me an email. I check every other day.

Last edited by OleanaKuhlin; March 2nd, 2018 at 08:36 PM.
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Old March 15th, 2018, 02:59 AM   #8
Bookworm214
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Join Date: December 27, 2017
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Age: 14
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Default Re: Better off dead

You aren't beyond help. You might think the world would be a better place without you but I don't think it would be. You mean something to someone and taking that away is heartbreaking. Not trying is easier than trying but life is a challenge. It's better to tell somebody about what's hurting than to hold emotions in that need to be let out. You are an amazing person and don't deprive yourself of that.

I tried being normal for a minute. It was the worst minute of my life!
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Old April 13th, 2018, 10:57 PM   #9
snowqueen
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Join Date: April 13, 2018
Location: UK
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Default Re: Better off dead

Wow, three years ago... I hope you're okay and alive still ): if you are have ya finished uni yet? Hope it's maybe changed a bit and you're feeling a little better if you still have access to this account and can read these :P
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