Thread: Advice needed
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Old October 21st, 2017, 02:09 PM   #4
Microcosm
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Name: Dan
Join Date: May 28, 2014
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Default Re: Advice needed

@Michael75,

Doing harm to oneself is only an effective coping method because it rationalizes the pain that you're feeling as a consequence of your own actions. In other words, your brain convinces itself that this pain is your own fault, and therefore that self-punishment is suitable. However, this is the nature of delusion. Delusion can thereby spread into other aspects of your life. That being said, it's important to nip the self-harm situation in the bud before it gets out of hand.

Relationships are always a risk because they almost always involve some degree of disagreement, fighting, and suffering that leaves both people scarred and discouraged. Chances are she's probably feeling the same things you're feeling. This is hard piece of advice to put into action, but here goes: You have to develop self-control and be the bigger man whenever you or she feel the urge to fight. You have to consciously realize that the relationship itself is more important than any quarrel that could be had in the present moment and, by so checking your priorities, leave the room calmly and tell her that the reason is that you are prioritizing the relationship over the fighting as you fear it will harm more than help the both of you.

I hope I have helped here. I really hope that you and her work out and have a fulfilling, mutually beneficial relationship in the future.
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