Thread: Advice needed
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Old October 10th, 2017, 04:22 PM   #1
Michael75
Member+
 
Name: Michael
Join Date: January 25, 2014
Location: Ireland
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Default Advice needed

Right this is like my fucking third time typing this out from scratch because I’m that fucking confused

I cut for the first time Sunday. Everything is going great for me, I’m physically fit, school is going well, I’ve a car, motorbike, loving family, ot family problems, a girlfriend who i love… ah theres the problem
I think i love her too much. Last Sunday we fought, a proper fight. First time since we started going out (march) i felt so bad because i could’ve prevented it. I’ve been in shit from since last week anyway for some reason, and sunday didn’t help it. So i cut. The scary thing is it helped, i felt like the worries had gone with the blood. The worrying part is i think it fucking helped at the time and I'm afraid i might do it again if things get bad again, But now I’m even worse, i feel so guilty, i always told myself id never do that but i did it, never mind over a fuckng girl. I love her so much, its not teenage naivety i know what i fucking feel and i don’t need to look anymore. She claims that she feels the same but I’m not sure, i cant convince myself that she does. Anyway. She used to cut, and i know how i felt when she admitted it,i felt physically sick. How the fuck would she feel if she learned i cut because of her? I cant talk to anyone. Two of my close friends aren’t close anymore, theres another lad I’m really close to but i just cant tell him because i know even though he’ll support me he’ll basically tell me to wise up but its not that simple.
I obviously don’t wanna tell the girl because it’ll kill her and may seriously impact our relationship, but the guilt is too much i cant stop thinking about it. Obviously she’ll understand because she used to, but I’m afraid it’ll annoy her too much because i did it to do do with her, and she might relapse. I never imaged myself to be talking about my cutting but I’m here anyway. Thing is we’re sexually active, and her parents are going away for a few days over halloween. we’ll be naked for most of the time so she’d bound to see it. The cuts are like on my thighs, like on the sides, basically beside my balls. If she’s down there, and its bright, she’s gonna see. And they won’t be gone by halloween. Plus if she sees them, she’ll get thick even more because i didn’t tell her. Btw I'm not breaking up with her because ill feel so much worse. And i wouldnt say that the relationship is causing mental abuse, because i tend to overthink things myself its nothing to do with her. She's the most important person in my life.

What the fuck am I supposed to do? Apologises for the long windedness. Thanks.

- Edit. By the way, my gut instinct is not to tell her, because it'll fucking kill her. But at the same time something is nagging at me just to fucking tell her because she's probably gonna see at some stage, especially during dirt.

Last edited by Michael75; October 10th, 2017 at 04:30 PM.
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