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Old August 6th, 2014, 05:31 PM   #1
AkuRokuStalker's Forum Picture
Name: Lumaria
Join Date: November 9, 2012
Location: The World that Never Was
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 2
Default Diet. may be triggering

I was 5 pounds away from being obese. I wanted to lose weight so I started eating less. At first I was just gonna get smaller proportions then I switched to fruit for almost all my meals. Now I only eat one meal a day, and its slowly becoming less and less on that plate. Sometimes when I eat I have to fight the urge not to go puke it up. Just looking at food can make me sick sometimes even when im starving. I'm starting to get heat flashes and dizzy spells. My stomach will start churning and I will start shaking very bad for no reason... I know whats happening but I cant stop it. Everytime I see that slightly smaller number i'm so happy. I cant reach out because I was labeled as borderline personality disorder and i'm so afraid that anyone I tell will just call me an attention seeker. Im terrified. I know the side effects and I know what will happen I have told so many people why they should not do it. I'm so scared this is the first time I have told anyone whats goiong on....

Everybody has their pasts, nobody is perfect. But at the end of it all even once you slip over that line, even if you pass the brink of insanity, you can still come back.

It's the idea of doing something that society frowns upon. Picking up a habit that society has deemed as socially unacceptable is my own personal 'screw you' to the people around me who feel the constant need to tell me how to behave correctly.
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