View Single Post
Old December 14th, 2015, 08:57 PM   #4
Uniquemind
VT Lover
 
Join Date: April 1, 2015
Location: USA
Gender: Other
Default Re: How can you know if a relationship is abusive?

Quote:
Originally Posted by adventitious View Post
We had a presentation about this the other day at school.

The first stages were gaining trust, and forming a friendship.

Then things turn nasty, with involving them in alcohol and drugs, building up their hopes then turning them down etc.

Then the full abuse starts. Threatening and violent behaviour starts, the relationship becomes unloving etc.

There is a 'sticky' thread in this forum if you would like to direct your friend there?
I just want to add that it can still be abusive if drugs and alcohol don't enter the picture.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Maytheforcebewithu View Post
I have a friend, and he has been with this girl for a year or so, and he says he is in love with her but she doesnt treat him very well. And we can all see it, all of his friends can. But he still thinks she is great and wants to be with her. So my question is, where is the line? When is it abusive? And can you still love someone who is mean to you?
It's abusive when the power dynamic is not 50/50 between partners, and one partner is ordering the other one around passively, or directly via force.

Other clues is that the abused partner feels trapped between their ideal wants for the relationship, versus what they're getting because they don't have equal influence in the relationship and like anybody else cannot control what their partner does.

On top of that, you complicate the matter more with sex, which is another layer, but that sexual layer of issues need not be present for the relationship to be abusive...sexual abuse on top of an already abusive relationship....is like an add-on, on top of an entree when you order food. Except the food is rotten because the entree represents the failed relationship.

FOOD ANALOGIES FTW!

Last edited by Uniquemind; December 14th, 2015 at 09:01 PM.
Uniquemind is offline   Reply With Quote