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Old August 27th, 2016, 01:49 PM   #1
New Member
Name: Tasha
Join Date: December 27, 2015
Location: Wiltshire
Gender: Female
Unhappy My friend might emotionaly abuse me??

I've been really depressed for over a year now, the first person I told was the person that i thought was my best friend. Lets call her Anne. So I was crying and Anne came up to me to ask what was wrong and to message her later. So i did. I told her how i was depressed and hurting about many things. After my first suicide attempt she was the only person I told. She called me crazy and told me that I needed to be put into a mental home and that they should throw away the key. She always tells me she doesn't want to be friends and that I drag her down and I've made her life a misery. She says I have an awful personality and that every time we fall out it is my fault. Whenever I ask why, she never tells me what I've done. She tells me lies to my face and has bitched about me behind my back. When i confront her she says stuff like "I can't even put up with this shit' and stuff like that. One time a girl called me a horrible name when I left the room, Anne told me and said she was being really mean about it. And that people laughed. I asked if she did, she avoided the question and then later admitted she had agreed with what this girl had said and that she had laughed. She has told me she doesn't care about me, and that I've lost her she says I piss her off and that I have to change, but never tells me what to change because 'she isn't going to give me a step by step guide on how to improve myself'. After my 2nd attempt she told me to 'fuck myself with a rusty spoon'. She says she hardly wants to know me. She says that i only like bands because she likes them and I copy her (when I don't).she called me dense and stupid. And she had a huge huge huge go at me for saying 'lmao' just because she says it. She told me 'i've made her feel like shit from the moment i started talking' and that 'talking to me is like a nightmare' 'you won't fucking leave me alone get out my life'. Alsoooo I was going on a school trip and she told me 'if you come i'm never talking to you again' my other best friend was going and Anne tried to make her not spend time with me. She said 'better stay away nobody wants ypu here' and 'i'm goanna hate you even more if you come' and 'i dont want you anywhere near me' and for my birthday I had asked Anne and another friend to come to a concert with me... The next day it was a thing for Anne and mine birthday. And that they would hire a minibus. Then i was uninvited. It worked out until Anne pulled out and she isn't even coming now. She constantly takes breaks and ignores me. She has called me a fucking wanker just because i asked why she was ignoring me. She constantly says all this and does all this and acts like it didn't happen a few days later. She told me her life would be better without me in it. I cut constantly and have lost count of how many times I've tried to kill myself. I've seen two therapists but they didn't help. I'm a really forgiving person and I always forgive Anne. But she makes me feel like everything is my fault. She males me feel worthless. She knows how much i love her (as a friend) and how much I value her. Every time we fall out i feel like all the air has been sucked from me and I can't breathe. It hurts so so much and i just wish we were okay. my friends say its emotional abuse and some say its bullying. She has told me we were never friends and she was pretending to pass the time. After one attempt i was in hospital a few weeks later anne accused me of lying about it! I don't even know what to so but i just need her in my life. Whenever she ignores me i feel like i can't be happy. when not arguing i am the happiest i ever am because she is wonderful but her actions make me hurt so much. When i talk about it tp her sje tells me i'm being dramatic and victimizing myself.. and i'm just lost for what to do. She intimidates me and makes me feel like i'm nothing.
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