Re: JOKES and RIDDLES
The doc told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act.
The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it,"He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe.
Finally, he realized his solution. On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate.
He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants.
Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?"
He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?"
The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."
Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."
A cruise in the Pacific goes all wrong,the ship sinks,and there were only 3 survivors : Gilligan, the Skipper and Mary Ann. They manage to swim to a tiny desert isle. They live there for a couple of years doing whatâ€™s natural for men and women to doâ€¦..After several years of casual sex, Mary Ann felt absolutely horrible about what she had been doing. She felt having sex with both Gilligan and the Skipper was so bad that she killed herself. It was very tragic but both Gilligan and the Skipper managed to get through it, and, after awhile nature once more took itâ€™s inevitable courseâ€¦â€¦â€¦.Well, a couple more years went by and Gilligan and the Skipper began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing.
So they buried her....
This couple had been dating several months and came close to having sex several times but at the last moment she would stop him.He was drafted into the army and on his last night at home pleaded with her to go all the way. She said she would if he could come up with a better rhyme than hers. He agreed. Her rhyme: If that should ever come to be,I'll throw my pussy out to sea. His reply: If that should ever come to pass I'll strap my balls to my ass, use my pecker as an oar and row that pussy back to shore.