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Old July 22nd, 2006, 03:01 PM  
New Member
Join Date: July 20, 2006
Age: 28
Default hello and this is my life

Ok if yall really want to know when I was about 11 or 12 I started getting depressed b/c I started to see what all is going on in my life that sucks. Any way just when I started to get over that my mom walks out and did not even ask me if I want to go. She left me here with a drunk, abusive, asshole that dose not care about any thing but him self. Well 14 15 years of being called something you begin to be leave it and that can do a lot to who you are and how you act. Well that is all I’m going to go in to that but I will tell you what he calls me fagot, worthless peace of shit, dumb ass, ass hole, etc. well after my mom walked out I began to get more depression and that pushed me right to the breaking point but I never did break down. Well this is hard to admit I began to think I was gay. Well that went on and off for a year or so but last year at school I met Taylor. I began to hang out with her and realized that I am not gay and I like her. Well I asked her out and she said yes well 3 mounts went by and all my depression went away. Her parents made her split up with me b/c her grades were dropping. Well I lost the only thing that I felt I had but within that time she got me to see that there is a point to life, she helped me find God, she turned my whole life around. Just like that I was not going out with her and what was I suppose to do. I did not give up and one we got out of school I started going out with her. Well here we are every thing is going good and she asked for sex many different times. I made her promise that we would weight till later b/c you never know what can happen in one month let alone two years when it would even be possible for use to get marred. But she agreed to that don't want to fuck up hour lives over a stupid mistake. But any way she has been sheltered all her life and knows nothing about sex and what you do or how a girl get and so on but she started asking me what a guy dose and so on. I told het but did not show her. She just got her comp back a few days ago and I sent her a link to wikipedia and it tells every thing about sex and so on. But it has some pics of different things. But she also asked for a video if I could find one so she can see how you do "it". I agreed to find one for her and sent her a link. Well she kept asking questions and I had to look up some of it but her dad looked on her comp. he got smart and found the history and etc. now I don’t know what to do her dad will not allow me to go over there now and may be pressing charges. Well here I am they will not let me talk to her or talk to them. I just lost the only person I care about in this world. I would do any thing for her and I don’t want to just walk away just like that. I got pushed to my limit and I have hyperventilated over 20 times in three days. My medication is not working if any thing it is making it worse. And now i see who my true friends are.
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