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Old July 17th, 2006, 11:38 PM  
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*Dissident*'s Forum Picture
Join Date: March 20, 2006
Location: Tullahoma, TN
Age: 26
Gender: Undisclosed
Default Questions from the lost

Hi. You probably dont know me, i dont like to post much, and you might just disregard this post as another early teen guy worried about his life. you might be right. But you can still listen to this early teen guy and help him out, cause he thinks he needs a break.

Anyway, heres a snapshot of the past year, Freshman Year. (at a private school of 300 people, dont forget) So, i started out this year in late august at a meager 13 years old. now its almost a year later, im going to be a sophmore, and im almost 15 in november. in this time, i have had an addiction. Not on drugs or porn, no. (you may find this funny and stupid, but i dont) My addiction was to World of Warcraft, but thats a different story for a different forum. Anyway, this game, that in a little over a year i have played for more than 50 full days. so 50 days x 24 hours= 1200 hours of world of warcraft in 13 months. Needless to say, all this WoW left me on the overweight side. I am not fat, per se, but i am 5'2 125 lbs. A bet on the heavy side, but not obese. Not even technically over weight, even. but it is apparent i am not fit. now, being 5'2 125lbs going into sophmore year, not a good thing. My wieght has left me self concious, and fearful of the opinions of others. In elementary and highschool, people made fun of me because they thought i was gay. Well, let me tell you, im not. anyway, back to my story. At the beginning of freshman year, in a class of 45, there were about 15 girls. most of these i wasnt attracted to, or didnt really feel like we could have a relationship or even be close friends, for that matter. Except one. Imagine, a girl who is funny, kind, extremely smart, and attractive to boot. A nice, open minded, clean and respectful person, who at times, i daydreamed about becoming spouses. a little far fetched for freshman year, but a guy can dream. She was amazing! but i was to afraid to ask her out, or even hang out with her. i knew she wouldnt be shallow about it, or even unkind, but i was afraid from past experience. i held it in all year, from october to june. then my best friend, the person i thought i could trust most in the world, started dating her. its now been 1.5 months in their relationship, and i am depressed. the only person i ever invisioned having a long term relationship with was taken by my best friend, who describes it as everything i hoped for and more. he says that he talked to her about me, and that she wouldnt have gone out with me, and that they were made for eachother, and all of that. I have never had a real girlfriend. I want to share my feelings with someone i can trust, who i can love and they love me back. but so far, i feel pretty hopeless. unlike large public schools in cities or towns, my private school has 285 people located an hour from the nearest city, Nashville. i dont exactly have many fish to choose from in this pond. any advice, consolation, comments, etc?

you can bomb the world to pieces
but you cant bomb it into peace

life is to short to make just on decision. musics to loud for just one station. love is to big for just one nation, and God is to big for just one religion

Come visit my diary, War is Hell!
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