Lol, thanks guys; I've finally decided to start vork on the story (been too busy with work to do otherwise lately). I've made some revisions to the basic story concept and have rough ideas for 2 characters:
Have you ever had one of those days where youâ€™re just an ordinary Mage (yes, Mages are real, along with about a dozen or so other so called â€œmythicâ€ beings) trying to figure out just what the hell youâ€™re gonna do with your life when you get possessed by some psycho-bitch vamperic spirit sealed in a Harry Potter book of all things, who saw it fit to turn you into a cute girl (when you were a GUY) out of spite when you exorcised her bloodsucking ass out of your body, an event that somehow managed to draw the attention of a ridiculously powerful (and completely insane) Archmage who agreed to help you absolve your curse if you agree to be his apprentice and work for him (all the while mumbling about the fate of the world, monkeys, and doughnuts); all of which ultimately leads up to you having to fight off a sizable gang of intelligent zombies who attacked you out of rage because your idiot werewolf friend didnâ€™t realize they were sentient and as such, be able to tell that he was saying some very mean things about them (...while still stuck in the body of a hot girl)? If you answered â€œYesâ€ then you have either:
totally lost your grip on reality and should seek immediate medical attention
gotten yourself involved in a very unusual game of D&D
somehow have had the supreme misfortune of falling into a situation like mine, in which case you have my sympathies friend, because this really SUCKS!!!
The protagonist of my demented little story, Edward is a pleasant, friendly, intelligent, and wise young man who seems to be cursed by the very Heavens themselves to lead an interesting life. At age twelve, Ed first discovered his magical powers when he accidentally blew up the family dog with a lightning bolt (fortunately, everyone else in his family was normal and never imagined that it was cute little Eddie who barbecued Fluffy). Unlike most people who would have gone crazy at such a revelation, Edward was both elated and more than a little curious about his budding powers, and soon began schooling himself with the Arcane Arts with every bit of eldritch knowledge he could get his hands on, all the while keeping it from his family, few friends, and his community so he wouldn't draw any unwanted attention. Somehow, he managed to pull it all off with only a minor incident that occurred when he was 15. It turned out that his first girlfriend (and long-time crush) was actually a cannibalistic ghoul who attempted to make Edward into a fine stew, only to fall prey to Edâ€™s fully patented â€œkill things with magic and pretend not to like itâ€ technique.
He eventually graduated from high school and began to work as a freelance Mage for a few years both to increase his growing magic and establish ties in the supernatural community, hoping to one day gain access to Concordia, the realm of the Magi. His plans hit a snag when he bought a cursed tome of tainted magics that inexplicably had a â€œHarry Potterâ€ cover on it and wound up getting possessed by a egotistical vamperic ghost named Bianca. Edward managed to drive the spirit out of his body and banish the undead bitch straight to hell, but not before getting hit by a curse that left him with the body of an attractive young woman. After overcoming his initial shock, Ed (now going grudgingly under the alias of Faye) frantically searched for someone who could help him/her rid him/herself of the wretched curse, and wound up running into Porthos.
Porthos just happened to be a very powerful (and quite mad) Mage from Concordia who gladly agreed to research a cure for Ed/Fayeâ€™s curse, as long as s/he would agree to become his apprentice and work for him as a Third Eye (see below). Not having any alternatives (and seeing that there was much to be gained from such an arrangement), Ed/Faye reluctantly agreed and has entered what is bound to be the strangest chapter of his/her young life yet.
Third Eyes (a shorter version of the highly anal retentive title of Warden of the Most Burdensome Path
) are in essence, magic using private detectives who have some sort of sponsorship from a Mage Guild or an individual patron of considerable power. They are charged with the much overrated task of ensuring that metaphysical activity within their assigned province (usually a large town or a city) remains balanced and stable, provide their power to the local law enforcement (at least those thatâ€™ll take â€™em seriously), mediate disputes between supernatral entities, and generally keep everything from going straight to hell. In exchange for allowing Ed/Faye to use his vast resources, considerable influence in both the world of humans and Mages, and enchanted paraphernalia, Porthos receives payment directly from Ed/Fayeâ€™s clients and, after all taking into account all property damage, risk of life and limb, ruffled politicians who need to be brainwashed, etc., Ed/Faye may (emphasis on MAY) see SOME of that payment. Most often, a Third Eyeâ€™s patron doesn't have to pay him for that month to retain the "benefits" that come with being a Warden of the Most Burdensome Path.
Remember in the Middle Ages where peasants had to work their butts off on farmland, seven days a week, so the local lord would allow them to live on his land? Being a Third Eye is like that. Only there are demons and undead and screaming and running and explosions and property damage. Okay, so it's EXACTLY like the Middle Ages.
Master Porthos Amadeus Van Gelderen The First a.k.a â€œPorthos the Mad,â€ â€œPorthos the Red,â€ â€œGelderen of Everburning Flame,â€ â€œThat crazy son of bitch!â€ etc:
Ed/Fayeâ€™s so called â€œMaster,â€ Porthos is a 2,000 year old Mage who has seen and done just about everything. His experiences, combined with the weariness of old age and general boredom, has driven him quite mad, though given the sheer magnitude of his magic, thereâ€™s not anyone can do or say about it. Recently, Porthos has attempted to join the Enlightened Concord (the ruling government of Concordia and all Mages) in hopes that it would bring some excitement to his dreary existence, only to be rejected as he never, in the entirety of his life, had an apprentice. Supremely irritated, he descended to Earth in search of a desperate Mage (preferably one thatâ€™s already proficient in the ways of Magic so that Porthos wouldnâ€™t have to waste any time with training and all that non-sense) that would be willing to serve under him. Lo-and Behold, Edward/Faye stumbled into Porthos path, distraught beyond reason and in desperate need of a cure for some curse that had apparently changed his sex. Porthos had at long last (well, to him at least, tough to be honest, he probably had spent only about 10 minutes searching for an apprentice) found his sap, er, apprentice.
Porthos is really evil or inherently malicious, no matter how much it seems that way, and most of the trouble he causes stems from his boredom and extreme lack of forethought that anything else. He claims to be weary of life, though he clings to it with the ferocity of a mad god (an analogy that isnâ€™t to far off the mark). Porthos has told Ed/Faye that it will take some time for him to discern how to rid him of the odd curse, though Ed/Faye has a sneaking suspicion that Porthos could do it any time that he wished but chooses not to as he is quite amused by Ed/Fayeâ€™s predicament.
I haven't hammered out any other characters though I have a few concepts I wanna try out: a gentle, well meaning (but horribly dense) werewolf (possibly werebear to deviate from the norm) warrior, an unusually up beat and slightly bi-polar vampire, and a demented Goblin (in my dark little world, Goblins are twisted, maleviolent fae/fairies that form from nightmares, death, decay, negative emotions, and pop culture) gun nut with a sever addiction to anime, 1970s pimp wear, and the Numa Numa song
All of my characters will usually be broke, down on their luck, and faced with insurmontable odds, but manage to pull though mostly unscathed (...mostly) by a mix of stubborn determination, raw willpower, heavy handed application of destructive magics, and sheer dumb luck. Oh yeah, I'm NOT spelling magic with a "k!"
Not sure where I'm gonna take the story, though I'm planning on having a lot of supernatural happanstance, flashy mage battles, explosions, and no small amount of satire, all mixed with my own macabre sense of humor