Thanks you guys.
Thanks for the thing about the faces, I should probably try and fix that. I decided I wasn't happy with the ending of the chapter so I've added a bit more onto it. Here it is:
When Bea arrived back home I found myself on the receiving end of a stern lecture from Bea about the dangers of smoking. Jack wasn't with her so she was calmer than usual. To be totally honest I didn't care what they had to say, they were total hypocrites. I knew they they used to smoke. Hell, I was one of the few people who knew that they met at a fucking coke party.
â€œMattie, are you even fucking listening to me?â€ Said Bea in a harsh, angry tone.
â€œYou want honesty?â€ I smugly replied.
â€œYes, as a matter of fact I do.â€
â€œFine,â€ I said. â€œI'm not listening to you because I don't care about my health. I don't see why I should.â€ There was a long pause before I broke the silence. â€œAren't you going to shout at me or something?â€
â€œYou want me to, don't you?â€
â€œI know you Mattie. You don't know it but I do. It's all you're used to.â€ I just sat there in silence as she looked at me with eyes of sympathy.
â€œI think we need to have a little talk.â€ She said. It was weird but she was the first person to actually say something like that to me. For the first time in my life I felt like there was someone out there who took my feelings into account, someone who was actually there when I needed help. I'm not going to kid myself, I was on the road to destruction. And I loved it.
As we sat down at the kitchen table both with cups of tea we completely opened up to each other.
â€œSo what is it that makes you want to get high all the time?â€ She said to me with nothing but sincerity in her voice.
â€œCome on, there must be something.â€
â€œOkay, I guess... I guess... I guess I just feel really alone sometimes. Like I can scream all I want and no one will ever hear me.â€
Bea looked down at the table and sighed.
â€œBea,â€ I said in a quiet tone. â€œare you happy with Jack?â€ She sat in silence for maybe ten seconds before answering me. â€œNo.â€ She said before starting to cry. â€œHey, Mattie...â€
â€œYes?â€ I said.
â€œBe a dear, give me a fag.â€
â€œThought you didn't smoke.â€
â€œFuck it. I need one right now.â€
As I passed her a cigarette I said with a smile on my face, â€œYou shouldn't smoke when you're pregnant.â€ She smiled back at me and let out a quiet giggle.
â€œWhere's Jack anyway?â€ I said, having to ask something about where he was.
â€œOut with his mates at the pub. Probably won't be back 'till about 2 in the morning. It'll just be us two for a few hours.â€ I had no problem with that.
The rest of the day went by slowly but well. After all, I'd experienced compassion for the first time and it felt good.
I managed to get to bed at a reasonable hour that night as I had school the next day. â€œFuck,â€ I thought to myself as I climbed into bed. â€œtomorrow's just another day.â€