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Old July 7th, 2006, 07:34 AM  
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Name: Felix
Join Date: April 4, 2004
Location: London, England
Gender: Male
Default Re: Cat's in the Cradle: Chapter One - 1990

Thanks you guys. Thanks for the thing about the faces, I should probably try and fix that. I decided I wasn't happy with the ending of the chapter so I've added a bit more onto it. Here it is:

When Bea arrived back home I found myself on the receiving end of a stern lecture from Bea about the dangers of smoking. Jack wasn't with her so she was calmer than usual. To be totally honest I didn't care what they had to say, they were total hypocrites. I knew they they used to smoke. Hell, I was one of the few people who knew that they met at a fucking coke party.

“Mattie, are you even fucking listening to me?” Said Bea in a harsh, angry tone.
“You want honesty?” I smugly replied.
“Yes, as a matter of fact I do.”
“Fine,” I said. “I'm not listening to you because I don't care about my health. I don't see why I should.” There was a long pause before I broke the silence. “Aren't you going to shout at me or something?”
“You want me to, don't you?”
“I know you Mattie. You don't know it but I do. It's all you're used to.” I just sat there in silence as she looked at me with eyes of sympathy.
“I think we need to have a little talk.” She said. It was weird but she was the first person to actually say something like that to me. For the first time in my life I felt like there was someone out there who took my feelings into account, someone who was actually there when I needed help. I'm not going to kid myself, I was on the road to destruction. And I loved it.

As we sat down at the kitchen table both with cups of tea we completely opened up to each other.
“So what is it that makes you want to get high all the time?” She said to me with nothing but sincerity in her voice.
“Fuck knows.”
“Come on, there must be something.”
“Okay, I guess... I guess... I guess I just feel really alone sometimes. Like I can scream all I want and no one will ever hear me.”
Bea looked down at the table and sighed.
“Bea,” I said in a quiet tone. “are you happy with Jack?” She sat in silence for maybe ten seconds before answering me. “No.” She said before starting to cry. “Hey, Mattie...”
“Yes?” I said.
“Be a dear, give me a fag.”
“Thought you didn't smoke.”
“Fuck it. I need one right now.”
As I passed her a cigarette I said with a smile on my face, “You shouldn't smoke when you're pregnant.” She smiled back at me and let out a quiet giggle.
“Where's Jack anyway?” I said, having to ask something about where he was.
“Out with his mates at the pub. Probably won't be back 'till about 2 in the morning. It'll just be us two for a few hours.” I had no problem with that.

The rest of the day went by slowly but well. After all, I'd experienced compassion for the first time and it felt good.

I managed to get to bed at a reasonable hour that night as I had school the next day. “Fuck,” I thought to myself as I climbed into bed. “tomorrow's just another day.”

It's me, Felix.
Name changes annoy everyone, I know.
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