I was in college and my first serious relationship failed after a couple of years dating this girl. I fell into a pretty bad depression that made me hate her so much. That hatred was killing me, by the way. I had never thought of finding advice in books or things like that, but one of the professors suggested that I read a book by an author named Guy Finley entitled "The Secret of Letting Go". Basically, it shows you that it is not what happened that causes you to suffer, but an aspect of you mind that makes it into a painful scenario that it loves to revisit over and over. Sort of a masochistic affair with my own mind, totally in love with its painful interpretation of what happened.
Basically, one suffers because one thinks back on what happened when there is really no real need to.
Finley says: "The next time depression takes you over, think toward it instead of from it. What this means is that you are to realize in the moment of being taken over by the darkness that you are simply wrongly involved in thinking about your state from the state itself. This is exactly how negative states take us captive. See the depression as a temporary imposition instead of accepting the position the state is telling you that you must accept. Work at this. Your efforts will be rewarded."
This is pretty illuminating, I think. For any of you who would like to know more about this man and his work, www.guyfinley.org
is chock full of articles and good stuff (for free!).
Hope this helps. It helped me.