It's a relief to know I'm not the only one. And yeah, I definately have the performance fear too. I suppose a long term g/f might help matters some,but supposing isn't getting me laid
What bothers me is that I feel almost a social expectation as a guy to not only be sexually active, but prolific at it too.
For example, at a party a few months ago, I was psuedo talking to this girl I used to work with (mostly she was pretending to be drunk and having me teach her how to use a bong). Now she is a pretty popular sort, and from what I hear, has been known to get around at parties, but that doesn't bother me really. When she grabbed my hand and started leading me back to the rooms, I almost started to shake I was so scared/nervous. I started dragging my feet and playing dumb (ha-ha! two can play at that game!). I think she caught on then, and started pretending like nothing was happening and left the party. It doesn't help the issue that she's f-ing gorgeous.
Now the thought of having sex with 1. a girl I wasn't dating, and 2. a girl who got around didn't bother me (in fact, I think it might've relieved some of the tension for me), and only for a few seconds I was worried about how I'd perform. I think (not quite sure, was kind of drunk/high at the time) I was scared of the social repricussions of what was going on. If it had happened, people would find out that 1. I was a virgin, and 2. I had sex with her that night, and the though of how that would've changed the social landscape for me was scary. For a while, I was really nervous about what might've happened because we didn't
do it, but no-one seemed to mind (know she spilled the beans about what happened to her friends, and that it spread from there). A huge part of my worry too was that I have Muscular Dystrophy, so my body is a bit withered in place (mostly my upper body/arms), and I've always really ashamed of it (don't ask why; it's a waste of energy), so I was worried that she might've changed her mind once she saw
I guess the moral of the story is that I like to rant, and I think too damn much. Oh well. . .