Originally Posted by some1
I'm really glad I can talk here, I really do...
Anyways, I getting those feelings again. I feel like I dont belong, like I'm out of place. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I feel the need to feel pain, so I scratch my arms really hard, just so I can feel something I can identify as an emotion. I feel lost, lonely, angry. I feel like I am unable to be loved by anyone who is not my family. I just feel angry and hurt no one would ever give me a second glance. I'm just a nobody. I feel invisible.
I'm tired to pretending Im all perky and happy in front of my only friend. I feel disgusted with myself. I feel like Im not a good person. I'm the worse person in the world. I should just die. I wish I was dead. I want to die...
I hate feeling this way, but I do. I just want to die. No one will notice.
You may feel down now, but you have to get through it. Be happy with yourself because in the end, your the one in charge, don't let anyone change that. Try not to scratch or cut or anything like that- if you need a distraction, find a hobby, don't try to harm yourself. You shouldn't feel left out just because you feel you only have your family; your family could help you a lot if you talk to them, and it seems like they would want to! And if this only good friend stays by you when no one else does, your could talk to them too! It's all up in your head, stop telling yourself your a bad person and look at your good quailities, I'm sure your great and there are people around you that could help you. Even if you don't want to talk to your parents or friends, you could talk to teachers or school counselors, your parents may get you a professional counselors. You have your whole life ahead of you and taking your life now is making a long term mistake to some short term problems; so NEVER even THINK about that.