arses. That was a long post
What you need are 2 things.
1: A chat with her, make sure she cannot get distracted then have a real good chat. Ask her questions that she cannot avoid, such as: what do u rele think of me. When that hapens analyse her answers and see what is goin on.
2. If you wanna be tricky, and by the way you put it it sounds like she may be cheating, send out spies. Get them to follow her around incognito and see who she meets and get em 2 report. If she is cheating. Kick her out, or kick his head in
Hope to be of assistance