Hey Patch, I'm so sorry to hear this.
If I may ask...what happened?
the other night i was in tears, total crying hard and hard, nto beign in control of myself. i tipped my room upside down, tryign to find a knife.
Did you want to cut so you would feel in control?
Not sure if you can or not, but if control is the case what I've found that helped me was driving. I would get upset and on the verge of cutting and instead I'd get behind the wheel and head a direction and go that way for hours until I felt "okay" enough to go back. If you can, try it...if not maybe try something, anything else that puts you in control and see if you still want to cut afterwards. If it's not about control...ignore everything I just said. (I'm sorry)
i do not liek the person i am right now.
i do not like how i act.
my personality. im not a nice person to know.
What about how you act or your personality do you not like?
You have the power to change that, you are who you make yourself to be.
I think you're amazing, I admire you for not cutting, and I hope you know this, but I do care.
Hang in there