Thread: An old outlook
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Old June 18th, 2006, 06:33 AM  
Waiting
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Join Date: April 27, 2004
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Default An old outlook

i havn't cut myself since my suicide attempt in march of last year.
when i was lying in the hospital bed thinking things through thats when i changed my ways. being put int he realisation of hwo far i actulary went and what i did to myself.

i put the past behind me and moved on. even threw away my knives. never looked back.
but events of recent, have led me back here. most of you know i stopped visiting this forum as much, it was because it reminded me of my old ways and i couldnt let myself be reminded of how i was. but because of the recent events in my life im back. the other night i was in tears, total crying hard and hard, nto beign in control of myself. i tipped my room upside down, tryign to find a knife. i turned out draws and i just cudnt find anythign. not onw knife. and i cried harder and harder and harder.
i felt again for the first time in over a year, that i needed a knife. and i wanted to cut myself.
the urges are comming back thick and fast.

i do not liek the person i am right now.
i do not like how i act.
my personality. im not a nice person to know.

i hate this.
i hate this
i hate this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ripplemagne
18. Come back when you stop failing.
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