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Old May 24th, 2006, 08:04 PM  
Great Poster
Join Date: July 26, 2004
Location: The Jungle baby
Default Re: Another Poem from Me to You

Interesting... you need to show the reader more though and not 'tell' as much. It would of been better if it were more metaphorical I think.

Also, grammatical errors: "Senicle", were you trying to write 'Cynical'? And "disdane" is 'Disdain'.

Anyway, keep up the good work, Kolte!

If there is one thing I learned, is never stop writing, never stop thinking.

Sex drugs and rock and roll!! Except no drugs. Drugs suck ass.
Jazbo is offline   Reply With Quote