those are all deffinately symptoms of ocd... please! Get help! it sounds like you are not in a good place with it at all.
Remember we cant diagnose you here... please see a phychiatrist and therapist and get their thoughts on it.
To win the respect of intelegent people and the affection of children, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch... to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is too have SUCCEEDED! - Emerson
<3 Molly Olly Oxen Free!