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Old April 6th, 2006, 09:15 PM  
Fiending_the_freedom
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Name: Tegan
Join Date: December 15, 2005
Location: Canada.
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 96
Default Confession of An Exctasy Addict

All I Could Think Was, Please God, How Could You Let Me Do this to myself...my life...
"want Some E?"
Me:"Sure, You Know What, Yea, Just For The Hell Of It."
It started out with me just trying it becuase i was curiouse. And Ended With Me Needing It.


Its Like Nothing You Can Describe. I Didn't Care About IF I Was Good Enough Or If People Laughed At Me, I was.."content". I was happy. and in control...or so i thought.
I Had Done It Twice Untill She Found Out.
My Friend.
Not Close But A Friend.
She Walked Away.
Later, She Found Me.
And She cried. She told me That She had seen People's brain be deystoyed by Exctasy. And she can't stand by and watch me destroy my life.
"but i'm not addicted. i can't get Deystroyed when i do it like once everythree months! i'm not like that! i don't get addiced, i don't need drugs."
It was her or exctasy.
So i promised her i wouldn't do it anymore.
And I Didn't.
For A month.
Then We did hangout anymore.

So I started to hangout with some old friends.
and i mentioned. wanna do E this weekend?
Because about ten of us hangout everyweekend and party.
So We Did.
For The Next Three Months we did excatcy every weekend.
and it was so fun. i alwyas couldn't wait for the weekend.
Then March Break came,
and i did it everyday.
just because i could.
and at the end of the week i reilized what was happening.
I called Rudi
Because hes always so good to me
and i cried.
"rudi...I Can't remeber the last two weeks."

But i buried the feeling, and kept doing it, beucase it made me feel so complete.
And I Started To Do Exctasy On Weekdays, either to get through the school day, or because i would hardley go to school.
i Was Talking to my friend Keith, no particualr day and he says
"i want you to stop doing e. Your memory horrible."
Yea i probably should, but meh, i'm younge.
"Tegan Please."
"No."
I Ran Out oF money on teh weekends beucase i'd ask for my allowence early and spend it before teh weekend,
so i started breaking into my dads safe, and stealing 100 dollars at a time.
To Pay For It.

Oh god.

after a break down.
and a break up.
and a cut up of my arm.
i finally reilize.
I'm Addicted to exctasy.
And Its ruined my life.

I've gone to a total of 6 classes in the last month.
because i'm too tired becuase i'm weak now.
I"ve Stolen.
Lied.
Cheated.
And Lost Myself along the way.

So Next time Your Thinking Of Doing Exctasy,You know, just for some fun.
Think first.
how would you feel if you woke up one day and reilize that you don't know where you've been for the last week.
It Started Because I Wanted Some Control Of My Life.
Well I got Control.
Exctasy Controled me.
It controlled when i slept.
when i ate.
who i saw.
how i felt.
and what i said.

I Still Do Exctasy. Even Though I Know How Its Destroyed my life. But I'm Slowly Stopping, And its hard

These Are My Confessions. Confessions Of An Exctacy Addict.

W a r n i n g: Too Many Thoughts Could Lead To An Explosion.


--Tegan
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