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Old March 17th, 2006, 02:21 AM  
R_master
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Join Date: March 9, 2006
Default Feelin depressed

ok well its march break and i just realized that its 1:57 on friday and wtf am i doing on this random ass msg board. the last few days have gone in a haze of drugs (well im being kind of melodramatic just bud, booze and having fun with nitrous), video games, and sleep. I was just talkin to my good friend about all this random shit and looked at my msn. i then realized i dont even talk to 85% of them anymore.

I got together with a few people the first few days but now i havnt even left my house for 2. now im just telling all these kids i dont know or will ever meet my problems which frankly does not make me feel any better about myself. I kind of distanced myself from most of my old friends, and i dont even talk to them. some even try to make and effort and reach out to me but i just reject it and feel more comfortable alone with myself. I cant even relate to alot of them. I have neve tried in school and that hasnt bothered me at all, not like im doing so bad but i know i could do much better if i had any initiative what so ever. kind of pathetic? i think so....

the sad thing is this dosnt even bother me and im pretty happy about myself most of the time, except when i feel like this. Its funny because i seem like a pretty normal guy in person who is well liked by most people. but nobody really knows me..haha well i hope whoever reads this enjoys my crappy life story, atleast alot of you at least suffered real pain losing close friends and family, feel the need to cut yourselfs and hear voices in your heads. Im probly gona wake up in the morning to thinking im pretty dumb to write this all out

well peace vt,

-Ari
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