When I cut..I think I feel pain, not the pain from the blade across my skin, but from everything else around me. I feel pain from my break-up, and feel pain for my family.. I feel pain for almost everything.
Afterwards, I feel..lost, and confused. But, sadly, I enjoy the feeling. I enjoy the feeling of blood running down my hand, perhaps because I know..I could control this. Everything else in my life..is out of control. Drinking and cutting are in my control, no one elses'.