Warning: if you are anti-christ, satanist, god-hating, woman-hating, church hating, cross burning, bible smashing, or simply someone who frowns everytime someone says "god"...don't read this
This is a story of how I started my relationship with my current GF, last december.
So the school year started, I started grade 12 and for the first month all was hectic with exams and people freaking out that university is in a year. Me, being a slacker, didn't care and I just zonned out as usual.
I lost some of that holy radiant glow that I shared during the summer. October rolled around and I forgot it entirely, before I knew it I was head banging to Marylin Manson and Slipknot. And during that time I knew a girl who sorta liked me.
Before I knew it, things went on...and I didn't want them to go on. I started going all physical, I made out, I even reached into her pants (and that SCARED ME). I was REALLY unsure of myself and by the begining of november that had to stop...could of went REALLY UGLY.
By now I became the traditional "emo" or "goth wannabe" living in catholic house. I hadn't been to my youth church in about 6 months and I didn't really care. My birthday passed and December began and I felt like going again. Sill head banging to Marylin I walked in to my youth church.
And by fate, there she was. My youth church plays many games randomly to get people up and this one was like "do something wierd" and win a prize. She ate Spam, I had to piggeback some guy twice my age. But we booth went up to claim prizes. She winked and I smiled. Youth church ended and we went to the lounge, I knew one of the youth leaders and so i talked with him, she knew him too and before we knew it, it became a talk between me and her and the youth leader was ignored.
And so my days became slowly brighter, a few msn conversations later, we discovered we liked each other. She played Snoopy in the christmas play and I helped as a stage crew...EVERYONE in the play knew we liked each other, and as the practises went on, we got closer. I hugged, she hearted me. Eventully the show ended, but our attraction didn't. We went on a few friendly dates and I held her hand. New Years soon aprouched and I made the first move. I kissed her on a bus ride we shared.
And so the story goes on, new years we had fun at her friends house (not THAT kinda fun): she sang songs from "Rent" and i played super mario bros. We weren't so strongly connected and just kissed ocasionaly....lol, i was even a minute late for kissing her for the countdown.
Meanwhile hadn't listened to any heavy metal in about 3 weeks...and yet, i didn't care. I had lost my dark side, love tends to do that ALOT.
And so it went on for a few days, a date here, a walk through the mall there... we still went to youth church, every friday for music and fun games. Can't argue with her...she's really nice, not some crazy party girl but someone really fun and nice to be around. Gets good school marks, in band and choir, just a really great person to be with...not at all too crazy, not at all to stict. Just great pure and simple
Then the first friday of january rolled around...
"I need to you" she said
"yeah...after youth church, I'll drive you home"
she had her lissence, and in Vancouver, You can drive with one passenger if you have had your learners permit for a year.
I knew it couldn't have been something bad, she often told me some usual random line like "your awesome"...never really understood what she meant
...till this conversation happened....
"Krz, there's something i've been meaning to tell you". (I'm Krz)
From there she told me of what she did the previous years, started off saying how she at one time stopped going to youth church and bunch of stuff started to happen: she started hardcore drinking, dressing gothy, and becoming instable, she even lost her virginity to one of the last people she dated.
There was an eary silence. I didn't say anything. I had one hand on the door handle, and one hand with her. I could of walked out..probably the more strict guys would. But something about her...she wasn't this way, she didn't seem as bad as she said. So she went on...
"listen...when I meant that your truly awesome...you had no idea..."
She made references to the first msn conversation we had..where i specificly mentioned that I hate alchol, don't smoke, don't do drugs, and i wanna stay a virgin till i'm married and comfortable with the person i'm gonna be with forever. She said that I gave her streanth...and that she saw in me that "if krz can be like this...i can be too".
Another moment of silence
The sane man would probably shut up, open the door and leave, forget everything and just move on with life. A sane man would probably ditch her and leave her in the car, in the rain. I could of leaned to my right side and left....but instead I gave her a hug....to me she was being really really brave. She trusted me, she told me the story that has been haunting her.
We would booth cry for about an hour together in her car. When that hour was almost up..:
"Tandra...listen, you are a really amazing girl.....I....I love you....I honestly really do" (her name is Tandra).
When i finnaly got home, explaining my tears and why i was an hour later than i normaly am was wierd to explain.
but all was good.
From that moment on we realized just how much we love each other....but we also discovered something: the church brought us together in the first place...
There is a expression in all forms of christainity: love isn't pure if jesus/god isn't in it.
Its been 3 months, 2 months since that january afternoon. We discovered that love isn't about making out, getting bj's or anything like that. Its about the heart, and about the hug, its about faith. As a result, we don't make out, we worked it out that we're connected romanticly, emotionaly, and spiritualy, but not so much physicly, cause that can ruin things if your not careful
I love her
Anyway, just a story i wanted to share....srry for making it a bit long