I hate to be the one that has to say it and its going to sound bad.
Have you never just said to yourself "get a grip" dont take this the wrong way, I dont mean it nastily and I'm not trying to insult you.
After reading some of you other posts about your ex-girlfriend and the girl you currently would like to be involved with, it seems to me like you let girls walk all over you. In relation to your post 'what do girls look for in guys' we look for self- respect, and we look for confidence. I used to be the same, I took all sorts of crap from man after man after man, all the messing about the 'I do want you I dont want you' 'I do want to stay I dont want to stay' bullshit. I spent years of my life trying to work out where I was going wrong, why didnt they like me bla bla bla, its useless. Also constant seeking their reassurance as to wether they like you or not is just annoying, if they're sitting with you spending time with you etc etc its safe to assume that they like you, have a little faith in yourself.
I really dont like saying nasty things to people but the best advice anybody ever gave me was one day when I was sat crying over yet another man, my best friend walked over to me, stood infront of me, pulled my face up to look at her and she said to me, "pull yourself together, get a grip, stop questioning yourself, its not the end of the world, so stop going on about it, nobody wants to hear it anymore" I can honestly say it was just what I needed, so because I've been there (believe me more than once) and I DO know how it feels, I'm going to say it to you, and I hope you'll take some notice,
Get a grip. Only you can control what happens in your life, do not settle for second best EVER again, I mean it, stop chasing pipedreams, if these girls were seriously interested you'd know by now, just leave it and move on, you might even find that when you're gone they'll realise what they're missing and they'll come after you. If they dont, then its no loss to you. Life is what happens when you're makng other plans, stop looking, stop chasing, stop waiting for something to happen, and go do something, you might just be surprised to see just how many oppurtunities there are for you, be in control every step of the way. I promise you, if you love life, life will love you.