Hey Felix, you probably don't know me very well, but my name's Heather.
I was exactly that way last month, it was worse than ever and I couldn't pull myself out of this one. I went to the ER and checked myself in because i was truly scared, I couldn't find reasons to not do it anylonger. So I was checked in and was there for about five days, it sounds scary and such but it keeps you safe. Do whatever you have to to keep you safe because you may not believe it but you are wanted alive.
Take care and hang in there.