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Old July 21st, 2009, 12:45 AM  
The Batman
Banned
 
Name: Thomdam
Join Date: November 13, 2007
Location: Missouri
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 19
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

A husband, so proud of the fact that his wife had given birth to 6
children, begins to call her "mother of six" rather than by her
first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles.

A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of her
husband's description. "Mother of six," he would say, "Get me a
beer!" "Hey mother of six, what's for dinner tonight?"

This type of situation persisted to a boiling point.

Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly
yelled out, "Hey mother of six, I think it's time to go!"

The wife seized the moment and shouted back, "I'll be right with
you -- father of four!"

__________________________________________________________________
Laquisha went into the welfare office so she could receive money for her children.
The social worker says, "Ma'am I need you to fill out this form and list each of your children separately on these lines."
Laquisha agrees and returns the next day with her paper work, each line filled out.
The social worker looks at her form puzzled and says, "Ma'am, I don't think you understood, I needed you to put a different child on each line." Laquisha responds, "yes, I did." "Well ma'am", says the social worker, " every line says Leroy." "Yes", says Laquisha, "all my children have the same name."
"Well what if you want them to come in for dinner?"
"I just yell 'Leroy!' out the window and the all come in."
"Well, what if you only want one of them?"
"That's simple I just call them by their last name."

_______________________________________________________________--

A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in the collection plates each Sunday. Someone suggested to him that perhaps he
might be able to hypnotize the congregation into giving more money.

"And just how would I go about doing that?" he asked.

"It is very simple. First you turn down the air conditioner so that the auditorium is warmer than usual. Then you preach in a monotone.
Meanwhile, you dangle a watch on a chain and swing it in a slow arc above the lectern and suggest they each put 20 dollars in the
collection plate."

So the very next Sunday, the reverend did as suggested, and low and behold the plates were full of 20 dollar bills. Now, the preacher
did not want to take advantage of this technique each and every Sunday. So therefore, he waited for a couple of weeks and then tried
his mass hypnosis again.

Just as the last of the congregation was becoming mesmerized, the chain on the watch broke and the watch hit the lectern with a loud
thud and springs and parts flew everywhere. "Crap!" exclaimed the pastor.
It took a week to clean up the church.
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