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Old June 6th, 2009, 05:43 PM  
Holding On*
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Name: Steph
Join Date: June 3, 2009
Location: England
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Default Re: Non Self Harm Calendar!

... zero days...

...first time that i have cried in over a month now...

cutting took the place of tears but now I have both again...

BBC has a good show about self harm that I watched on IPLAYER earlier... It triggered me, but it also helped. I am only crying now because I harmed myself again. I am dissapointed in myself, and I am scaared. I feel so scared. I know it is wrong to do it... but I find myself not caring/being able to stop...

I am getting help though.


On wednesday I opened up to the counsellor I already see, about it. I wrote 2 pages on it and gave her it, however there was soooo much more I could have wrote.

She is reffering me to another counsellor who runs a self harm group...

I hope it can help


I don't understand any of it...


Right now it feels unreal.

It feels like I havn't done it... like it isn't me...

I just don't understand anymore....

I don't understand life.



EDIT:-Also the song playing at the moment, I love but its kinda triggering for me now too... - You could be a hero - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNlZz...eature=related
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