I agree with Alex and Josh^^
Life is definately worth living!
Im really sorry about everything that has happened
Maybe you need some time away from this girl...?
I know you have said you still love her but I cant help but feel your holding onto the hope that if you still see her, that things can go back to how they were before, that you guys will get back together. But going by her reaction to that night you spent together and the drunk phoncalls etc, it doesnt seem like she has that intention at all...at least not at the moment.
It sounds as if she used you that night, and still could do in the future. Im not saying give up all hope of ever getting back together, just take some time out, concentrate on getting yourself sorted out. So if the time does come and you two want to try again, youll be ready to give it a fresh start.
As for your anti depressants, does your doctor know you have stopped them? Maybe you could talk to them about changing your treatment?
You need to do something sweetie
Suicide is never an option!
Maybe if you think you might do something when youre driving, just pull over. Stop the car and get out.
I dont know if it would help maybe if you went for a run? Just do something to get away from making a decision on impulse, allow yourself time to think.
You have your friends, your family, and you have us now!
We will always be here for you, k?
I hope things get better for you really soon!